Chapter 1: Introduction
The squeaking of sneakers on the floor made it seem like rubber-soled birds weaved their dance inside the college gym, accompanied by the rhythm of the ball bouncing, the whoosh of the ball as it soared toward its target, and the muted cheers rising and falling without fanaticism.
I stood next to my boyfriend, Tom, who watched one of our old friends, Justin, slam-dunking his energy onto the basketball court. I used to play basketball and I admired Justin’s athletic figure.
I stole glimpses at his muscular back, and imagined how broad his shoulders would seem without his shirt on. His tanned skin glistened as beads of sweat traced their way down his arms; it enhanced his attractiveness and I felt my heartbeat sync with the rhythm of the game. All the while, I remained acutely aware that Tom was beside me.
The game ended with Justin's team snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. Their jubilant celebration spilled over, embracing their supporters, friends, and family.
I felt separated from the crowd because of a preoccupation that gnawed at my chest, like a child hungry for attention. My eyes hunted for Justin.
When our gazes crossed, a pause played out between us, heavy with the weight of curiosity. He tipped his chin up and winked. I smiled, a little too enthusiastically, but he didn't seem to care. Justin was used to the effect he had on others.
"Sarah, it's good to see you again!"
Justin's voice was magnetic, which made it difficult for me not to stare at his full lips as he talked. I took his hand and tried to look poised, despite the flutter in my stomach. "You too, Justin. You played great tonight."
He flashed a smile. "I'm just warming up. How about that drink I owe you?"
My cheeks felt warm. Drinks with Justin? Was this really happening? I glanced at Tom.
A mix of emotions hung in his expression, impossible to distinguish which one was dominant. Was it anger, confusion, or sadness? I couldn't tell, but I knew I needed to address it.
Despite the thick air, both men engaged in a beat of small talk, discussing nothing much in particular.
As they talked, my curiosity grew into a burning question that I couldn't ignore - what would hooking up with Justin feel like? What secrets hid beneath the athletic exterior? I thought of Tom and guilt invaded me like a storm, flooding my heart with self-doubt.
When the guys finally stopped talking, I felt as if I'd been given a reprieve.
“Should we go to the bar?” I asked Tom. “ I think I’m going to call it a night, I’ll see you tomorrow” Tom said as he gave me a kiss and walked towards the parking lot. I felt the guilt creep over me like a fog, but I shrugged it off as best as I could.
I stood there for a moment, watching Tom dissolve into the crowd of college kids until I couldn't see him anymore. My stomach was twisted in knots, but I'd made up my mind.
“So, are we still on for that drink?” I asked, turning back to Justin with a nervous smile.
He grinned and offered me his arm.