Chapter 5: Decisions
Ridge didn't wake her until the sun was lighting the bedroom. Alex woke to a long soft kiss to her shoulder. She stretched against him, pressing her ass against his crotch and then turning to look at him over her shoulder and through her bangs. She smiled when he chuckled and then sighed as he wrapped her in his arms, spooning her with a hand on her breast and the other arm around her waist. He murmured, "Morning, goddess."
She shivered at his tone and at his gentle touch, then harder when his kiss landed on her neck this time. He rumbled in her ear, "Apologies if this is rude, how's your ass feel? I want to be sure there's no untoward pain after taking your virginity..." She giggled lightly and rubbed her ass against his crotch. "Want more, you beast. If we're going to be see each other some more, I'm warning you that you have have opened a door that will not be closed. You're going to have to fuck me regular and often."
Ridge hummed against her neck. "How about if we make love regular and often?" She turned in his arms and kissed his chin, then murmured, "I'll take it under advisement" before covering his mouth with hers and feeding him her tongue. His hand went to her hair and stroked gently, while he sucked on her tongue much as he did her clit the night before.
Alex moaned into his mouth as she felt his cock harden against her thigh, his fingers digging into her hip. She could feel the heat of his body, the way his muscles flexed beneath her touch, the way his breath hitched as she ground her hips against his. Then she closed her teeth on his lip and tugged softly as her fingers wrapped around his cock and started a slow gentle stroking motion.
"You know, I've never been fucked in the ass before last night," she murmured against his lips, her voice low and husky. "But I want to feel you inside me again. I want to feel that thick cock stretching me open, filling me up so completely that I can't think of anything else."
His nod was nearly imperceptible, but his fingers were massaging her buttocks firmly. "Whatever you want, lover. Gentle or hard?" Alex shivered at his question. She lifted herself over him on her arms and looked down at his face. "Hard, big boy. Make me feel it." Her voice was a low, filthy whisper, her fingers tightening around his cock as she stroked him with slow, deliberate movements. "I want to be fucked so hard that I can’t walk straight for days."
Ridge groaned, his hips bucking up into her grip as he growled, "As you say." His hands slid down to grip her hips, pulling her closer as his mouth crashed into hers in a hungry, bruising kiss. His tongue plunged deep, claiming her as his fingers dug into her soft flesh, leaving marks that would linger long after they were done.
Alex moaned into his mouth, her body trembling with anticipation. She could feel the heat of his cock throbbing in her hand, the way it pulsed with every stroke, every squeeze. His fingers dug into her hips, pulling her closer, his mouth devouring hers with a hunger that left her breathless.
"Fuck, Ridge," she gasped, breaking the kiss just long enough to drag in a ragged breath. "Now."
Ridge growled, his dark eyes burning with primal hunger. He flipped her onto her stomach in one swift motion, his body covering hers like a blanket of muscle and heat.
His cock pressed hard against the cleft of her ass, already leaking pre-cum in thick, sticky drops that made her skin slick beneath him. Alex arched her back, pushing her ass up to meet him, her pussy already dripping with need.
"Fuck me," she begged, her voice muffled by the pillow. "Fuck my tight little ass again, Ridge. Make me feel you there for days."
Ridge growled, his fingers digging into her hips as he positioned himself at her entrance. The head of his cock pressed against her puckered hole, stretching her just enough to make her gasp.
Alex could feel the slickness of his pre-cum smearing against her sensitive skin, the thick ridge of his crown pushing past her tight ring with a slow, deliberate pressure. She whimpered into the pillow, her fingers clawing at the sheets as Ridge’s thick cock began to stretch her open once again.
"Fuck, you’re so beautiful," Ridge groaned, his voice rough with lust. "Your ass is still swollen from last night, baby. You’re going to feel every fucking inch of me."
Alex moaned, her body trembling as he pressed forward, his cock sliding into her inch by agonizing inch. She could feel every ridge of his cock as it stretched her open, her tight ring clenching around him as if trying to resist, yet also desperate to take more.
“Fuck, Ridge,” she gasped, her voice trembling. I can feel you *everywhere*.”
Ridge groaned, his fingers digging into her hips as he bottomed out inside her. “That’s it, baby,” he growled. “Take every inch of me like a good girl.”
Alex whimpered, her fingers clawing at the sheets as she adjusted to the sensation.
Ridge’s thick cock was burying deep in her ass, stretching her obscenely wide, the burn of the stretch making her toes curl and her vision blur. “Fuck, Ridge—” she gasped, her voice trembling with need. “You’re so fucking *big*. And yet I feel like I can't get enough of you.”
Ridge growled, his fingers digging into her hips as he surged deeper inside her. “That’s it, baby,” he groaned, his voice rough with lust. “Take every inch of me like a good girl. You know you want this.”
Alex moaned, her body trembling beneath him. The thick press of Ridge’s cock inside her ass was overwhelming, stretching her in ways she’d never imagined. She could feel every ridge of his length as it pressed deeper, her tight ring clenching around him as his balls came to rest against it. He leaned up and bit her neck gently. "Take a moment to get used to it deep inside you, baby. And then I'm going to ride you hard." Alex moaned into the pillow, her fingers clawing at the sheets as Ridge bottomed out inside her.
"Fuck, Ridge—" she gasped, her voice trembling. "You feel so *good*." Teasingly, she squirmed beneath him, raising her ass for him, inviting him to take what he wanted from her.
Alex whimpered into the pillow, her knuckles white from gripping the sheets so tightly. The burn of Ridge’s thick cock stretching her ass was almost unbearable, but the pleasure that followed was even more intense. She could feel every vein, every ridge of his cock as it pressed deeper, her tight ring clenching around him like a vise.
Ridge leaned down, his breath hot against her ear. "Look at you, taking my cock like a hot-assed slut," he growled, his voice rough with lust. "Your body is so fucking tight, baby. It's like you were made for me."
Alex moaned, her body trembling beneath him. And slowly, Ridge drew back until his cock had nearly left her body before he slammed it home, shaking the bed as his balls pressed on her ass again. He repeated the motion, each thrust harder than the last, until he was fucking her with deep, brutal strokes, his cock pistoning in and out of her tight hole with a filthy, obscene rhythm. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, raw and primal, the scent of sex thick in the air.
Alex wailed into the pillow, her fingers clawing at the sheets as Ridge’s thick cock stretched her open with every thrust. The pain and the pleasure made a heady mix, and she was easily getting lost in its eddies.
The burn was relentless, but the pleasure that followed was even more intense, a white-hot wave of sensation that made her body quake, and not just from his thrusts. She closed her eyes, just to feel the sensations. "Fuck, Ridge!" she screamed, her voice muffled by the fabric. "You're so fucking deep! I can feel you in my throat!"
Ridge growled, his fingers digging into her hips hard enough to leave bruises. "That's right, baby," he snarled, his voice rough with lust. "Take every fucking inch. You're mine, Alex. Say it." Ridge's voice was a low, filthy growl as he drove his cock deeper into her ass, his balls slapping against her soaked pussy with each brutal thrust. His fingers dug into her hips, his grip bruising as he held her in place.
Alex's breath hitched, her fingers clawing at the sheets as she arched her back, pushing her ass higher to meet his thrusts. "I'm yours," she gasped, her voice trembling with need. "Oh god, I'm yours, Ridge. Treat your slut hard!"
Ridge groaned, the sound raw and primal. "Fuck yes, that's it," he snarled, his hips snapping forward with brutal force. His cock pistoned in and out of her ass, stretching her obscenely wide with every thrust. The wet, filthy sounds of their bodies slapping together filled the room, the scent of sweat and sex thick in the air. Alex could feel every vein of his cock as it dragged against her sensitive inner walls, the thick ridge of his crown pressing deeper with each brutal stroke.
She whimpered, her fingers clawing at the sheets as Ridge's cock bottomed out inside her. "Oh god, Ridge—" she gasped, her voice trembling with need. "I'm going to cum!" Alex screamed, her body shuddering beneath Ridge as his thick cock pounded into her ass with relentless force. Then the wave of release roiled through her body, causing her entire body to spasm and her pussy to clench at the emptiness there. But her ass squeezed hard and Ridge growled as he fucked her through her orgasm.
His hand came up and he grasped her hair, pulling her head up so that her back bowed beneath him . "Cum on my cock, you beautiful slut," he growled, his voice rough with lust. "I want to feel that tight ass clenching around me while you scream my name." Ridge's hand tightened in her hair, pulling her head back so that her spine arched like a bowstring beneath him. "That's it, baby," he growled, his voice rough with lust. Say it again."
Alex gasped, her voice trembling with need. "I'm yours, Ridge," she repeated, her voice no longer muffled by the pillow. "Fuck me like you own me." He leaned down and bit her shoulder, his teeth sinking into her flesh hard enough to leave a mark. Each thrust sent jolts of pain and pleasure through her body, mixing them and threatening to drown her in them.
"That's my girl," he growled, his voice thick with lust. His hips snapped forward, his cock driving into her ass with brutal force, his balls slapping against her soaked pussy with each brutal thrust.
Alex screamed wordlessly, her fingers clawing at the sheets as Ridge’s thick cock stretched her obscenely wide. The burn was relentless, but the pleasure that followed was even more intense, a white-hot wave of sensation that made her entire body tremble.
And then she came again. Her body wanted to curl on itself as the waves roiled through her. Her pussy gushed its juices even as it tried to squeeze the emptiness it felt. And her ass milked his cock, pleading for him to come for her.
Ridge’s breath was ragged, his fingers digging into her hips hard enough to bruise as he bottomed out inside her, his thick cockhead pressing against the deepest part of her. "Fuck, Alex—" he snarled, his voice raw with need. "I'm gonna fill this tight little ass with my cum, baby. You want that? You want my hot load deep inside you?" "Please," she gasped, her voice trembling with need. "Fuck, yes, Ridge. Fill me up. I want to feel you dripping out of me later. I want to feel your cum running down my thighs, soaking into my panties, making me sticky and wet all day. I want to feel your mark on me, Ridge. I want to feel you *everywhere*."
Ridge groaned, his fingers tightening in her hair as he fucked her harder, his hips slamming into her ass with brutal force. "You're so fucking perfect," he snarled, his voice rough with lust. "Your tight little ass was made for my cock, baby. Made for me to fuck, to fill, to own."
And with those words, he plunged deep into her and held her like that, pressed tight against her as his cock swelled and he came. White-hot jets of his cum sprayed deep inside her, again and again. She reveled in the feeling of his possession of her.
Alex could feel his cock pulsing inside her, his cum flooding her ass in thick, sticky ropes. The heat of it was overwhelming, the way it filled her so completely, so *obscenely*. She moaned, her fingers clawing at the sheets as Ridge’s cock twitched inside her, his breath ragged against her neck.
"Fuck, Alex," he groaned, his voice rough with pleasure. "You take my cum so fucking well. Your tight little ass is milking me dry."
She whimpered, her body trembling beneath him. "I want more," she gasped, her voice trembling with need.
Ridge sagged against her. "Oh baby, I do too. But I have classes, and I know you have your own work. And it's nearly eight." He leaned down and kissed her shoulder, his lips soft against her skin, but his voice was firm. "You need to get ready for work, Alex. We have time for a shower together, but then you have to go. I don't want you to be late because of me."
Alex groaned, her body still humming from the aftershocks of their lovemaking. She rolled onto her back, her legs still spread wide, her ass still aching from the brutal pounding Ridge had given her. She could feel his cum leaking from her, warm and thick, trickling down her thighs. The sensation sent a fresh wave of heat through her, and she bit her lip to stifle a moan.
Ridge took a moment to examine her: her hair was a rat's nest, her makeup was smeared. Her chest was red and splotchy. There was a cum stain on her thigh and her ass was pulsing his cum out of it. "You are the sexiest thing I have ever seen." Alex looked down her body to see what Ridge saw, then started laughing loudly. "The after is better than the before? Ridge, you're infatuated." Alex giggled, her fingers tangling in the sheets as she stretched like a cat, her body still humming from the brutal fucking he’d just given her. The air in the bedroom was thick with the musky scent of sex, the sheets damp with sweat and cum. Her ass ached deliciously, the burn of his cock still lingering between her thighs.
Ridge leaned down, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, "Look at you—your ass is still swollen from me, your pussy dripping from how hard I made you come. You’re *mine* now. Every inch of you." His fingers traced the curve of her waist, his touch possessive, claiming.
Alex shivered, her nipples hardening beneath his gaze. "Fuck, Ridge," she breathed, her voice husky with lust. She reached down, her fingers brushing against the sticky wetness between her thighs. Ridge's hand joined hers for just a moment and together they spread her open and massaged her folds. Then Ridge looked up into her eyes. "I have a late class Tuesday and Thursdays, runs til 6:30. I'll leave word with the concierge and when you get here tonight, if I'm not here, just identify yourself and they'll let you in."
Alex turned her head to look into his eyes silently, his fingers lacing with his and ceasing their activities between her legs. "You sure, Ridge? That's an awful big step, isn't it?" Ridge obliviously smiled to her. "What...you weren't coming back after school tonight?" Alex blushed and nodded slowly. "Maybe? Probably? But did you just assume that?" Ridge began to sense the landmines around where he sat. "I guess I did. I don't want to not have you with me tonight. I figured you didn't want that either."
Alex nodded and poked his lower lip with his thumb. "Maybe? Probably? Let's see how the day goes. I'll let you know." Ridge nodded and grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers and then kissing her fingers. "Sorry I assumed something that was not a given. Please don't think that means I am taking you for granted." She murmured a soft, "It's okay," but was wondering if it really was and if that was a door she really wanted to open. Ridge kissed her softly and patted her ass.
"Now get up, darling slut, so we can go about our days and return tonight for more exploration." He leaned down down and kissed her slow and deep. She wrapped her arms about him and tried to pull him down atop her, but he fought her off playfully. "No, no, no, darling. We are *not* starting this again. You'll be late for work, and I have classes." He stood and pulled her up, his cock still half-hard and glistening with her arousal. Alex pouted, but the sight of his cock made her mouth water. She reached out to stroke it, but he batted her hand away.
"Later," he promised, his voice thick with desire. "Tonight, I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk straight tomorrow. But for now, we need to get ready for the day/."
---
The English department was a maze of old wood and echoing hallways, the scent of aged paper and coffee thick in the air. Alex had always loved it here—the quiet hum of intellectual curiosity, the way the walls seemed to whisper the ghosts of debates past. But today, the familiar comfort felt different. She was different.
She adjusted the strap of her bag, the weight of Ridge’s hopes and plans for her weighing on her. It was a secret, a promise, a tiny rebellion against the carefully constructed life she’d built for herself. The life where she was *Alex Hardesty, Teaching Assistant, Ageless Scholar, Forever Unattached*. Part of her like the images that Ridge's mistake had built for her. But was settli dongwn, let alone with him, anywhere near what she wanted?
The door to her office creaked as she pushed it open, the hinges protesting like an old man’s joints. She flicked on the light, the fluorescent hum filling the small space.
Her office was a sanctuary of chaos—stacks of papers teetering precariously, a mug of cold coffee from yesterday still sitting on her desk, half a dozen books open to dog-eared pages. A framed photo of her and her best friend, Lila, from their last girls' trip to the coast sat crookedly on the bookshelf, the ocean wind having blown Lila’s hair into a wild halo.
Alex sat down at her desk, the old wooden chair creaking beneath her. She pulled out her laptop, but instead of opening it, she just stared at the screen’s reflection—her own face, slightly flushed, her eyes brighter than usual. She touched her lips, remembering the way Ridge had kissed her in the shower, slow and deep, like he had all the time in the world.
A knock at her door made her jump.
"Alex?" Lila’s voice was bright, cheerful. "You in there? Or did you finally get abducted by one of your grad students?" Lila pushed open the door without waiting for an answer, her dark curls bouncing as she stepped inside. She was holding two steaming coffee cups, one of which she immediately extended toward Alex. "Double-shot caramel macchiato with oat milk, just how you like it. Though judging by that *glow*, you might not need the caffeine boost today."
Alex took the cup, her fingers brushing Lila's. "What glow?"
Lila arched an eyebrow, her dark eyes scanning Alex's face with the precision of a forensic investigator. "Oh, please. That's not just 'I got enough sleep' energy. That's 'I got railed into next week' energy. Lila leaned against the doorframe, her gaze sharp and knowing. "You look like you just stepped out of a romance novel. Or a very enthusiastic yoga session. Which was it?"
Alex felt heat creep up her neck. She took a long sip of coffee, the sweet caramel burning her tongue just enough to give her something to focus on besides the way her body still hummed from Ridge's touch. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, her voice carefully neutral.
Lila snorted, pushing off the doorframe and dropping into the chair across from Alex's desk. "Oh, come on. I practically need to put on sunglasses. Your hair is still damp at the roots, your lips are swollen, and you've got that little smirk you get when you're trying to play it cool but you're actually thinking about something *very* specific. So spill. Who is he? Or is it a *she*? Or both?" Lila's grin was wicked, her dark eyes sparkling with mischief.
Alex rolled her eyes, but motioned Lila closer. When Lila moved closer, Alex whispered, "Remember you asked about a grad student?" Lila's mouth opened nearly as wide as her eyes. "What if I told you it was an undergrad?" Before Lila could protest, Alex went on. "A returning student. Remember that guy I left with from the bar Saturday night?"
Lila swallowed slowly. "Oh, fuck, Alex. He was gorgeous!" All Alex could do in reply was blush and nod her head hard. She took another sip of coffee, the caramel sweetness doing little to mask the heat in her cheeks. Lila’s eyes widened as she leaned forward, her elbows resting on Alex’s desk. "Oh my god," she breathed. "You’re *sleeping* with him? Like, *actually* sleeping with him?" Alex bit her lip, then nodded again, her fingers tightening around the coffee cup. "It’s… complicated," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
Lila’s grin turned wicked. "Complicated how? Like, ‘he’s my student but I can’t keep my hands off him’ complicated? Or ‘he’s got a secret wife and three kids in another state’ complicated?" Lila asked, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
Alex exhaled sharply through her nose, her fingers tracing the rim of her coffee cup. "The first one," she admitted, her voice barely audible. "But not just... physically complicated. It's more than that."
Lila's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, honey. You've got that look. The one that says you're already halfway in love with him."
Alex's fingers stilled. "I don't know about love," she said carefully, but her voice wavered just enough to betray her. "But it's... intense. And fast. And technically, he's not my student any more. But there's all sorts of technical shaky ground, right?" Lila's eyes widened. "Oh shit. You *are* in love with him." Alex shook her head, but the motion was too quick, too defensive. "I barely know him," she protested, but even to her own ears, it sounded weak. Lila leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms with a knowing smirk. "Alex Hardesty, you are *many* things, but a liar isn't one of them. So don't bother trying to convince me you're not falling for this guy." Alex exhaled sharply, setting her coffee down with a little too much force. "Fine. Maybe I'm...*something* for him. But it's complicated. He's young, he's intense, and...I don't know. Maybe this is more than just sex." Alex's voice cracked slightly on the last word, her fingers tightening around her coffee cup. Lila's smirk softened into something more sympathetic. "Oh, Alex," she said gently, reaching across the desk to squeeze Alex's hand. "That's... a lot. But also kind of sweet?" Alex let out a shaky breath, her free hand rubbing at her temple. "It's terrifying. I don't *do* relationships. I don't *do* love. I don't *do* promises and *feelings*. I do casual. I do sex. I do *safe*. And yet here I am, sitting in my office with my best friend staring at me like I’ve just confessed to joining a cult."
Lila’s thumb traced idle circles on the back of Alex's hand. "Alex, honey, you’re allowed to be happy. You’re allowed to let someone in." Alex scoffed, pulling her hand away to take another sip of coffee. "I *am* happy. I’m *very* happy. Just… differently happy. The kind of happy that makes you question every life choice you’ve ever made up to this point. The kind that makes you want to call your mother and say, 'Guess what? I think I’m falling in love with a man who could be my son'."
Lila’s eyes widened. “You’re *not* calling your mother.”
Alex groaned, dropping her head into her hands. “I know. I know. But this is *insane*. He’s *insane*. He’s…” She trailed off, searching for the right word. “He’s *determined*.”
Lila grinned. “And you love that.”
Alex groaned again, but this time, it was half-hearted. Lila stood and gave her dear friend a long wet kiss on Alex's forehead, then sat down again. "Tell me what you feel, Alex. Does your body, your heart respond to the things he says?" Lila asked, her voice softening. "Does he make you feel alive?"
Alex leaned back in her chair, her fingers tracing the edge of her coffee cup. "He makes me feel *everything*," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "When I'm with him, it's like... like I've been asleep for years and he's the first thing I've ever truly *seen*. He's intense, and passionate, and he looks at me like I'm the only woman in the world. And when he touches me..." She trailed off, her cheeks flushing as memories of Ridge's hands on her body flashed through her mind.
Lila's grin turned wicked. "Wow, no wonder you're confused. To have the perfect man land at your feet and all that..." Lila giggled at Alex. Alex tried to appear angry but ended up smiling goofily. "Lila, he *sees* me. He's like the anti-Clark." Lila hissed at the mention of the name of Alex's ex-husband. Alex grinned at Lila. "Well yes, but you missed the point. He's like the *opposite* of Clark." Alex's voice dropped to a whisper, her fingers tightening around her coffee cup. "Clark never saw me. Not really. He saw the idea of me—the put-together professor, the woman who could host dinner parties and look good in a little black dress. But Ridge? He sees *me*. The messy parts. The parts I usually hide." Lila's expression softened as she leaned forward, her elbows resting on the desk. "That's terrifying, isn't it?" Alex nodded, her throat suddenly tight. "It's terrifying *and* exhilarating. Like standing on the edge of a cliff and realizing you actually *want* to jump."
Lila's dark eyes softened as she studied Alex's face. "Aha. I think you just answered your own concerns: 'you actually want to jump.' And my lovely friend, you're allowed to let someone in." Lila's voice was soft, but her eyes were sharp as she studied Alex's face. "You're allowed to be happy, Alex. You're allowed to jump."
Alex exhaled sharply through her nose, her fingers tightening around her coffee cup. "I know," she said finally. "I *know* all that. But knowing it and *doing* it are two very different things."
Lila leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. "So what's holding you back? Besides the obvious ethical gray area, which, let's be real, you've already crossed the line on."
Alex hesitated, her fingers drumming against the desk.
"It's not just the ethics," she admitted, her voice dropping to a whisper. "It's the *speed*. It's the way he just... *knows* things about me. Like he's been studying me for years. He knows how I take my coffee. He knows which books make me cry. He knows—" She cut herself off, her cheeks flushing. Lila looked suspiciously at her friend. "He knows *what*?"
Alex swallowed hard, her fingers tracing the rim of her coffee cup. "He knows how to touch me," she said finally, her voice barely audible. "Like he's memorized every inch of my body. Like he's been waiting for me his whole life," Alex finished, her voice barely above a whisper. The words hung in the air between them, heavy with implication.
Lila's expression softened. "That's not scary, Alex. That's *romantic*." Lila’s voice was firm, her grip on Alex’s hand unyielding. Alex looked down at their joined hands, the warmth of Lila’s touch grounding her. "I don’t know," she admitted, her voice trembling. "I’ve spent so long telling myself I don’t need this. That I’m fine on my own. That I *like* being on my own. And now..." She trailed off, her fingers tightening around Lila’s.
Lila’s thumb traced slow circles on the back of Alex’s hand, her dark eyes searching her friend’s face. "And now you’re realizing you might actually *want* this?" Alex nodded, her throat tight. Lila shrugged and winked at Alex. "So if you break his heart, you tell him that Lila is right there for him." Lila squeezed her hand. "And if you don't break his heart, is there room in your bed for a third, when my husband goes out of town? I need to meet this paragon of manhood!" Lila stage-whispered, her eyes dancing with mischief. "I need to see what kind of man could make the great Alex Hardesty look like a lovesick teenager."
Alex groaned, dropping her head into her hands. "Oh god, don't say that. I'm not lovesick. I'm just... confused. And maybe a little bit obsessed. But that's normal, right? When someone is that good in bed?" Lila started to smirk, then just didn't. "Alex, my dear friend. If you're only interested because he's good at sex, stop now before you both get hurt. If you see these other things in him, then you should be jumping with both feet." Lila's voice was firm, but her eyes were soft. "Alex, you deserve someone who sees you. Who *really* sees you. And if this guy is that person, then don't let fear hold you back."
Alex exhaled sharply, her fingers tracing the rim of her coffee cup. "It's not just fear," she admitted. "It's... everything. The age difference, the power dynamic, the fact that he's a student—even if he's not *my* student anymore. It's like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and I can either jump into the unknown or turn around and go back to the life I've built. But the thing is... I don't think I can go back now. Not after this."
Lila's expression softened as she studied Alex's face. "Then don't," she said simply. "If he makes you feel this way, if he sees you in a way no one else ever has, then why fight it? Life's too short to spend it playing it safe." Lila raises a finger to stop Alex from speaking yet. "And no matter what you do, you're always going to run into the same scenario: being 'safe' by doing nothing or discovering what's out there. You've been doing 'safe' for a few years now. How's that working out for you?" Lila asked, her voice cutting through Alex's thoughts like a knife through warm butter.
Alex blinked, her fingers tightening around her coffee cup. The question hung in the air between them, sharp and unyielding. "What do you mean?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.
Lila leaned forward, her dark eyes locking onto Alex's. "I mean, how's playing it safe been working out for you, Alex? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you've been stuck in neutral for years. You've got a job you love, sure, but you're not *living*. You're just... existing. Going through the motions." Lila blinked owlishly at Alex, falling silent and letting her think.
Alex stared down at her coffee cup, the steam curling up in lazy spirals. The office was quiet except for the distant hum of the building’s ancient HVAC system and the occasional murmur of students passing by in the hallway.
She thought about the last few years of her life—her carefully constructed routines, her meticulously maintained boundaries. The way she’d convinced herself that being alone was a choice, not a default setting. The way she’d told herself she was *fine*, when deep down, she’d been waiting for something to shake her out of her carefully controlled existence.
And now, here was Ridge—wild, intense, impossible to ignore. A man who saw her not just as a professor, not just as a woman, but as someone worth *unraveling*.
Lila sighed gently. "I've got to get back to my work. Alex, honey, I'll just say two last things. First, I love you very much. I've got your back no matter what you decide." Alex looked up and saw the truth of Lila's words. But Lila went on. "Second, I trust your judgment. If you have red flags waving and alarms screaming at you, I fully understand your caution. But if what's scaring you is the possibility that it might not work out perfectly, well...welcome to life. It's good to have you back with us." Lila winked again, then leaned over to hug Alex one-armedly. "Seriously. I want to meet him. If you want to double with me and John, let's do it." Lila stood up.
Alex stood quickly and hugged Lila hard. "Thank you for being my friend and tolerating my wishy-washiness. Not necessarily in that order." Lila winked again, then turned to leave, her heels clicking against the worn linoleum floor. The door swung shut behind her, leaving Alex alone with her thoughts.
Alex exhaled sharply, her fingers drumming against the desk. The office suddenly felt too small, the air too thick. She stood abruptly, her chair scraping loudly against the floor, and paced to the window. A couple walked across the corner of the quad that she could see, arm in arm and heads together as their world collapsed to only those two. Alex prepared for the pang of jealousy that such scenes usually brought to her. And when it didn't arrive, she looked at her own eyes in the reflection in the window, murmuring, "How about that?"