Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Ever since I found out my best friend had a crush on me my life has never been the same. We try to make it work despite being both boys.
I'm not gay. I've never been with a man, let alone my best friend. But there's something about him. Something special. When we were kids we used to play this game where we'd pretend we were in love.It was so fun pretending and getting away with it. Then we got older and our relationship became more and more serious until we actually started dating.
My bestie and I have been inseparable ever since. Even when he moved away for college we kept in touch through FaceTime calls and texts. He even visited me once when I was in high school. The summer before his senior year we spent weeks together. We did everything together.It was like we were made for each other. Until that summer he'd never been with a guy. He told me he was scared of what might happen if we took that step. So we didn't.
We kept up the pretence that we were in love until his last year of college. He moved back home after his last final exam and we kept up the ruse that we were going to be together.It was easier that way. Plus it kept us close. We'd been through so much together. Pretending we were in love kept us close. It also helped us cope with the fact that we were both guys who liked guys. It made us feel normal.
Until one day his phone rang. It was his mom calling to check up on him. She must've seen him on FaceTime because she asked if he was dating anyone.He said no and that he was single. His mom then proceeded to ask if I was his boyfriend. I said yes but that we weren't really serious. His mom said she understood and that they were just glad that he was finally happy.
That night he came over and we watched a rom-com together.Afterward he confessed his feelings for me. He said he'd been lying to himself for years thinking that maybe someday he'd fall in love with a girl. That maybe someday he'd get married and have a family. That maybe someday he'd stop being gay.
I told him that I loved him too but that I wasn't ready to commit yet. That I needed some time to myself.