Chapter 1: The Helpful Study Session
The library in the Gamma Phi Kappa house was less a room and more a cave of forgotten knowledge. Jamie’s sneakers squeaked on the polished hardwood floor, the sound swallowed by the sheer volume of the space. Bookshelves, dark and looming, stretched up to a ceiling lost in shadow. The air smelled of old paper, lemon polish, and something deeper, muskier, like trapped history.
“Over here, pledge.”
Jackson’s voice was a warm, commanding thing. He sat at a massive oak table, a single lamp casting a pool of honeyed light onto a stack of papers. Caleb was a quiet silhouette by the window, his hands adjusting a dimmer switch. The harsh overhead fluorescents faded, replaced by the softer glow of a few brass sconces, making the room feel closer, warmer.
“Hey, man,” Drew said, smiling from a chair next to Jackson’s. He patted the empty seat beside him. “Don’t sweat it. It’s just the personal essay part of the app. Standard stuff.”
Jamie felt his shoulders relax. Drew had been his guide through this whole pledging thing, the one who made it feel less like an interrogation and more like… well, joining a club. A cool, secret club.
“Thanks,” Jamie mumbled, sliding into the chair. The questionnaire was thick.
Jackson stood and moved behind him, placing his hands on Jamie’s shoulders. Jamie stiffened for a second, then forced himself to soften. It was just brotherly. Camaraderie.
“We like to go a bit deeper than GPA and community service,” Jackson said, his voice close to Jamie’s ear. “Gamma Phi isn’t just an organization. It’s a brotherhood. A family. We need to know the man, not the resume.”
His hands stayed on Jamie’s shoulders, warm and heavy. Jamie’s pulse did a little skip he didn’t understand.
“Okay,” Jamie said, picking up the pen.
“Question one,” Jackson read aloud, his chest now pressing lightly against Jamie’s back as he leaned over to see the paper. “On a scale of one to ten, how masculine do you consider yourself? Define your terms.”
Jamie blinked. “That’s… specific.”
“We’re a specific house,” Caleb said softly from the shadows near the bookshelves.
Jamie thought about it. He wasn’t a jock, but he wasn’t a slouch either. “Uh, a seven? I guess. Masculine like… reliable. Not being a jerk, but being strong for people.”
Jackson’s hand gave his shoulder an approving squeeze. “Good answer. Strength for others. I like that. Write it down.”
Jamie wrote.
The questions rolled on. Some were normal: What does loyalty mean to you? Others were weirder. Describe a time you felt truly vulnerable. What did you do? Jamie wrote about failing his first college math quiz.
Drew laughed at a joke Jackson made, nudging Jamie’s knee with his own under the table. “See? Painless.”
It was painless. It was even kind of nice, all this focused attention. Like they really cared about his answers.
Then Jackson’s fingers brushed the back of Jamie’s neck, ostensibly to smooth his collar. A jolt, hot and confusing, shot down Jamie’s spine. He hunched his shoulders, a faint blush heating his cheeks.
“Question fourteen,” Jackson continued, his voice a low murmur. “Hypothetical. You walk into a room and the brothers are… relaxing. Casual. How do you contribute to the atmosphere?”
Jamie frowned. “I dunno. Grab a beer? Put on some music?”
“Mmm,” Jackson hummed, the sound vibrating through Jamie’s back. “Simple. Direct. I like it.”
The questions took a sharper turn.
How do you respond to direct commands?
What makes you feel cared for? Be detailed.
What physical trait are you most self-conscious about?
Jamie’s pen hovered over that one. His face burned. He was aware of Jackson behind him, Caleb’s silent observation from across the room, Drew’s friendly, encouraging smile.
“Honesty is the foundation of trust, Jamie,” Jackson said softly, his breath stirring the hair by Jamie’s temple.
Jamie swallowed and wrote, his script getting tighter: My size. I’m kinda small there. It’s embarrassing.
He quickly moved to the next one, hoping they wouldn’t see.
The next question made his breath catch.
How big is your cock? Just like that. Blunt and clinical.
A laugh bubbled out of Jamie, nervous and high. “Seriously? Is this, like, a medical form?”
Drew chuckled too. “It’s about breaking down barriers, man. No secrets between brothers.”
Jackson’s hands were still on him, a constant, warm pressure. “It’s about absolute honesty. The last frontier of a man’s privacy. We honor that trust.”
Jamie stared at the line. His face was on fire. He felt exposed, but also… chosen. They were asking him. They wanted this raw, hidden part of him. Wasn’t that what brotherhood was? He took a shaky breath and wrote the humiliating measurement.
The final question was at the bottom of the page: What would you do to be one of us?
Jamie didn’t hesitate. He was already flushed, his heart beating with a strange mix of anxiety and a desperate desire to please. He wrote, Anything.
Jackson slowly lifted his hands from Jamie’s shoulders. The sudden absence of the warmth felt like a loss. Jackson took the completed questionnaire, his eyes scanning the answers, a small, unreadable smile playing on his lips. He exchanged a glance with Caleb, who gave a single, slow nod from the shadows.
“Outstanding,” Jackson said, folding the papers. He placed a hand on the back of Jamie’s neck again, this time his grip firmer, possessive. “Really outstanding. You’ve got a keen spirit, Jamie. A lot of potential.”
Drew stood up and clapped Jamie on the back. “Told you it was no big deal. Let’s get a pizza, celebrate getting through the paperwork.”
Jamie stood, his legs a little weak. He felt dizzy, like he’d just passed a test he didn’t know the rules for. The library seemed darker now, the corners deeper, the smell of old paper more oppressive. But Jackson was smiling at him. Caleb was nodding. Drew was his friend.
He was in.