Chapter 1: Introduction
The hallway of my building had always felt oppressive, with its damp, musty smell and sickeningly-sweet air fresheners that couldn't quite mask the mildew emanating from beneath the stained carpet. But today, the hallway felt even more claustrophobic as I fumbled with my keys and stumbled into my apartment. All I wanted was to flop onto my sagging mattress and lose myself in a Netflix-induced stupor.
I barely kicked off my boots before I heard the familiar, sharp voice cutting through the stale air.
"Chrissy, we need to talk," Sarah called out from her apartment next door.
I hesitated, eyeing the door and willing it to swallow me whole. Just once, I wished I didn't have to deal with this. I couldn't afford to lose this crappy apartment, but I couldn't stomach doing what she wanted me to do, either.
I walked into her apartment, where the smell of incense was much stronger than in mine. She sat on a worn leather couch, surrounded by piles of books and papers, always studying something new.
"Chrissy, I know you're struggling with rent, and I want to help you out," she began, looking up at me.
I opened my mouth to interrupt, but she held up a hand to stop me.
"Now, I'm not going to kick you out, and I won't ask for money.
Instead, I have a proposition for you. A different way for you to catch up on rent," she continued, eyes narrowing as she looked me up and down.
A pit grew in my stomach, my mouth suddenly dry as I tried to swallow the dread. "Okay, what do you want me to do?" I asked hesitantly, already knowing the answer.
Sarah hesitated for a moment before standing up from the couch. She walked over to me and took my hand, giving it a squeeze. "I know how intelligent and capable you are. And I know you're struggling right now.
But I'm willing to forgive your debt and even help you out if you can do one thing for me." Sarah's grip on my hand tightened, her voice low and earnest.
I couldn't bring myself to look at her as she continued, "I want you to give me head."
There it was. The words hung in the air, thick and heavy. I felt the weight of them settle in my chest, making it hard to breathe.
I looked up at Sarah then, searching her face for any hint of a joke or a cruel smile.
But all I found was a determined look in her green eyes, and my stomach dropped.
"I-I don't know if I can do that, Sarah," I finally stammered out, my voice barely above a whisper.
Sarah took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I understand," she said, her voice softening. "I know this is a big ask, but I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you were capable."
I felt a spark of anger inside me, and I pulled my hand away from hers. "Capable?
I'm not sure what you mean by capable," I said, trying to keep the edge out of my voice.
Sarah looked at me for a moment, studying me carefully. "Chrissy, I know you're a smart and resourceful person. You've always been curious and eager to learn. And I think you have a lot of potential. I want to help you reach that potential."
"By having me give you head?" I asked, incredulous.
Sarah nodded, her expression serious.
"Yes. I know it might seem unconventional, but I think you'll find that it's not as taboo as you might think. And I promise you, I'll make it worth your while."
I couldn't help but feel a twinge of curiosity at her words. I had always found Sarah to be a fascinating person, with her intelligence and confidence. And I had to admit, the idea of exploring something new and forbidden did hold a certain appeal.
But I hesitated, unsure of what to do.