Chapter 5: Resolution
My Uncle was disappointed that I asked for time off, the bar manager was furious, no other women wanted to dress so provocatively for minimum wage and tips. But it was important for Sam and I to figure things out, I was blinded by the quantity and quality of sex over the coming days. I just wanted him as a fuck buddy but the thought of him with other women, made my blood boil in jealousy. I had to wonder if I should commit to a relationship.
I had never been in a serious relationship before, and the thought of it was both exciting and terrifying. I had always been the kind of person who preferred to keep things casual, to avoid getting too attached. But Sam was different. He was kind, and gentle, and he made me feel things that I had never felt before. He made me feel special, and desired, and loved. And I found myself wanting more.
Doubt and worry filled my brain, a constant thought that Sam was too perfect, that he was over-compensating for failing to keep Lisa happy with him, so many things to worry about, but tonight was a step forward, I was back on birth control, and tonight, Sam could fuck me raw again, my pussy was missing his cum. At least, that is what my body wanted, my heart though, prepared for a serious talk.
I had to know what was going on between us, what he wanted, what he expected. I couldn't just keep fucking him without knowing if this was just a fling or something more. I needed to understand his intentions, to know if he was serious about me or if this was just a rebound from Lisa.
As if reading my mind, Sam pulled away from my pussy, his tongue leaving a trail of wetness on my skin. He looked up at me, his eyes filled with a softness that I had never seen before. "Alice," he said, his voice gentle. "I need to talk to you."
I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest.
I could see the seriousness in Sam's eyes, and it sent a shiver down my spine. I sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover my nakedness, my body still tingling from the intense orgasm I had just experienced.
Sam took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine. "Alice, I know we've been...close, and I know that we've been having a lot of fun together. But I need to be honest with you. I have feelings for you. More than just physical attraction. I care about you, Alice. And I want to know if you feel the same way."
I felt a lump form in my throat as I looked into Sam's eyes.
"Sam." I started, fighting a lump in my throat, "I am really fucked up, you make me so happy, it's terrifying, I feel like one wrong moment, it will all come crashing down, and I can's see myself surviving the moment after it happens." I paused, taking a deep breath. "I've never felt this way about anyone before, Sam. I don't know how to do this relationship thing."
Sam smiled softly, taking my hand in his. "Alice, it's okay to be scared. I'm scared too. But I want to try, with you. We can figure it out together. One step at a time."
I felt a tear slip down my cheek, and Sam reached up to wipe it away with his thumb. "I want that too, Sam," I whispered. "But I need to know, what about Lisa? What about your past?"
Sam's expression darkened for a moment, but he quickly shook his head.
"I think I know what you are asking, I spent a year trying to free myself from Lisa's control, everyone thinks we're a recent thing but its been over for a long time, I finally had the strength to finally say no to her, and she took it out on you, blaming you for me leaving her, but I left her a long time ago." Sam said, his voice filled with a mix of frustration and regret.
"I am sorry, Alice, I never wanted her to hurt you, I guess I should have been more careful, but I didn't think she would go this far." Sam said, looking down at his hands.
"Well, I'm not going to lie, it hurt, but I'm not going to let her control me anymore, I'm stronger than that, and I'm not going to let her ruin this for us." Alice said, her voice filled with determination.
"I'm glad to hear that, Alice, because I want this, I want us." Sam said, his eyes meeting mine. "You are so scared that I will destroy your life if this falls apart, but you have that same power over me."
Sam said, his voice soft but serious. "I've never felt this way about anyone before, Alice. I'm terrified too."
I looked into his eyes, seeing the truth of his words reflected back at me. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to say. "I don't want to be scared anymore, Sam. I want to take a chance on us. But I need you to promise me something."
"Anything," Sam said without hesitation.
"Promise me that if things get too hard, or if you change your mind, you'll tell me. No secrets, no lies.
Just honesty, no matter how hard it might be. I can't go through that again, Sam. Not with you."
Sam nodded, his expression serious. "I promise, Alice. Just us, being honest with each other."
I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, feeling a weight lift from my shoulders. "Okay," I said, smiling softly at him. "Okay, let's do this."
Sam's face broke into a wide grin, and he leaned in to kiss me, his lips soft and gentle against mine. I melted into him, my body pressing against his as we deepened the kiss.