Chapter 1: Introduction
The air in the room was thick with the scent of coffee and old books. Professor Stevenson, a man with more hair on his chin than on his head, stood by the door, shuffling through a stack of papers. He wore a tweed jacket that looked like it had been his father's, and grey pants that were a bit too short, exposing a pair of woolly socks.
"Emi," he said, looking up with a pair of glasses perched on the end of his nose. "You still here? I thought you'd be off to the library by now. Not that there's any rush.
I mean, it's not like I have a life outside of this place," I muttered, gathering my books and stuffing them into my bag. I was Emi, the girl who blended into the background, the one who preferred the company of algorithms to people. My life was a series of ones and zeros, and I was content with that.
"Well, not everyone can be a social butterfly like you, Emi," a voice said from behind me. I turned to see Sarah, my only friend in this sea of faces, grinning at me. She was everything I wasn't - outgoing, confident, and beautiful. Her dark skin glowed under the harsh fluorescent lights, and her laugh was infectious.
"I mean, look at you," she said, gesturing to my oversized sweater and jeans. "You're like a human blanket fort. Comforting, but a little... hidden."
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile. "And what's wrong with that? I like being comfortable."
"Nothing's wrong with it, Em. But you could use a little... shake-up. Something to make you stand out."
Before I could respond, Professor Stevenson cleared his throat. "Ah, Jake. Right on time, as always." He stepped aside to reveal a tall, blonde-haired god walking through the door.
Jake, the college's star quarterback, was a walking stereotype - charming, confident, and annoyingly good-looking. He was the kind of guy who made me want to hide in the corner and pretend I was a bookcase.
"Jake, this is Emi," Professor Stevenson said, gesturing towards me. "She's one of the brightest students in this department. I thought she could help you with your computer science course."
Jake's eyes met mine, and I felt a blush creep up my cheeks. His smile was like the sun, warm and disarming. "Hey, Emi," he said, extending a hand.
"Jake. Nice to meet you."
I hesitated for a moment, then shook his hand. His grip was firm, but not too tight. "Hi, Jake. Nice to meet you too."
He released my hand and turned to Professor Stevenson. "Thanks for the recommendation, Professor. I could really use some help with this course."
Professor Stevenson nodded. "Emi's more than capable, Jake. She's one of the best in her class. I'm sure she can help you out."
Jake turned back to me, his eyes sparkling with a mix of charm and something else - something I couldn't quite put my finger on. "So, Emi, how about we start with a coffee?
My treat," Jake said, flashing me that disarming smile again. I hesitated, taken aback by the invitation. I was used to being the one doing the inviting, the one who was always in the friend zone. But here was Jake, the college heartthrob, asking me out for coffee.
"Uh, sure. That would be... nice," I stammered, trying to sound more confident than I felt. Sarah raised an eyebrow at me, a smirk playing on her lips. I knew she was thinking, 'See, Em? A shake-up.'
"Great," Jake said, clapping his hands together. "How about we meet at The Grind in an hour?
It's just off campus," Jake suggested, already pulling out his phone to check the time.
"Sounds good," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. I could feel Sarah's gaze on me, and I knew she was dying to grill me about this unexpected turn of events.
"Awesome. See you then, Emi," Jake said, giving me another one of his disarming smiles before turning to leave. As he walked out, I couldn't help but notice the way his jeans fit him, and how his letterman jacket hugged his broad shoulders.
"Well, well, well," Sarah said, turning to me with a grin.
"Looks like you've got a date with the most eligible bachelor on campus, Em. What are you going to wear?"
I sighed, already feeling the weight of anxiety settling on my shoulders. "I don't know, Sarah. I don't have anything... fancy. I mean, it's just coffee, right?"
Sarah rolled her eyes. "It's not just coffee, Em. It's a date. And you need to look like you're worth more than a free tutoring session."
I bit my lip, trying to hold back a retort. I knew Sarah meant well, but her words stung. I didn't want to be just a tutoring session to Jake. I wanted to be... more.
I wanted to be seen, not just as the shy, nerdy girl who was good with computers, but as someone who was interesting, someone who could hold a conversation that didn't revolve around binary code or algorithms.
"Em, you're overthinking it," Sarah said, sensing my internal struggle. "Just be yourself. That's what Jake wants, right? The real you."
I sighed, looking down at my worn-out sneakers. "But what if I'm not interesting enough? What if he realizes I'm just a boring computer science major who can't even talk about anything other than my studies?"
Sarah laughed, a warm sound that filled the room. "Em, you're not boring.
You're just... quiet. And that's okay. It's part of what makes you, you. Besides, Jake's not looking for a conversation partner. He's looking for a tutor. And you're the best at that."
I looked up at Sarah, her words sinking in. She was right. Jake was asking for help with his computer science course, not for a date. I was overthinking it, letting my insecurities get the best of me.
"Okay, you're right," I said, taking a deep breath. "I'll just be myself. No big deal."
Sarah grinned. "That's the spirit.
Now, let's get you ready for your date with destiny," Sarah said, linking her arm through mine as we walked out of the classroom. The hallway was filled with the usual college chatter - students rushing to their next classes, laughing, and exchanging notes. I felt a pang of envy as I watched them, their confidence and ease with each other a stark contrast to my own.
"Sarah, I don't know if I can do this," I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "What if I mess up? What if I say something stupid?"
Sarah stopped in her tracks, turning to face me. "Em, you're not going to mess up.
You're smart, and you know your stuff. Besides, Jake's not going to judge you for being quiet. He's just going to appreciate that you're there to help him."
I sighed, trying to push my insecurities aside. "Okay, you're right. I just need to relax and be myself." "That's the spirit. Now, let's get you ready. We have an hour before your coffee date."
We walked to my dorm room, Sarah chattering away about Jake and his reputation. I tried to listen, but my mind was racing with thoughts of what I should wear, what I should say, and how I should act.
Sarah, noticing my distraction, stopped talking and turned to me. "Em, are you even listening to me?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at her. "Sorry, Sarah. I was just... thinking."
She sighed and sat down on my bed, patting the space next to her. "Come sit. Let's talk about this."
I sat down, feeling the softness of my bed beneath me. Sarah took my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Em, you're overthinking this. It's just coffee. You're not going to be judged on your outfit or what you say.
You're going to be judged on how you make Jake feel. And you, Emi, have a way of making people feel at ease. You're like a warm blanket on a cold day. So, just be yourself."
Her words were like a balm to my anxious heart. I took a deep breath, trying to absorb her wisdom. "You're right," I said, feeling a bit more confident. "I just need to remember that."
Sarah nodded, her eyes sparkling with determination. "Exactly.
I followed her to my closet, where she began to sift through my clothes.
"Okay, Em, let's find something that says 'I'm here to tutor you, but I'm also kind of cute and interesting,'" she said, holding up a few options and discarding them just as quickly.
I sighed, looking at my limited wardrobe. "Sarah, I don't have anything like that. I'm more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl." "I know, Em. But today, we're going to find something that says 'I'm here to tutor you, but I'm also kind of cute and interesting.'"
I laughed, shaking my head. "You already said that, Sarah."
She grinned. "I know.
I know," Sarah said, her eyes scanning my clothes. "But we can work with what you've got. Let's see... how about this?" She pulled out a simple black t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. "It's not fancy, but it's clean and it fits you well."
I took the clothes from her, looking at them with a critical eye. "It's just a t-shirt and jeans, Sarah. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard." "Em, you're not trying too hard. You're just being practical.
And practical is good, right?" Sarah said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Besides, you don't need to look fancy to be interesting. You just need to be yourself."
I sighed, looking at the clothes she'd chosen. "I guess you're right. I just don't want to look like a slob either."
Sarah laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "You won't look like a slob, Em. You'll look like a cute, put-together nerd. And that's a good thing." "Okay, okay. I'll wear the t-shirt and jeans.
It's not much, but it's clean and comfortable. I can't help but feel a little self-conscious, though. I've always been more comfortable in my own skin when I'm surrounded by the familiar hum of my laptop and the click-clack of my keyboard. This... this is different. This is a date, even if it's just coffee.
Sarah, noticing my hesitation, put a hand on my shoulder. "Em, you look great. Stop overthinking it. You're going to be fine."
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I slipped into the jeans and tshirt. The tshirt definilty felt tighter than it used to. I had noticed that my breasts had grown since I started taking the pill to clear up my skin.
I had always been a late bloomer, and now, at 20, I was finally starting to fill out. I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to see what Jake might see. I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't a supermodel either. My reflection showed me a girl with long, dark hair, almond-shaped eyes, and fair skin. My Japanese heritage was evident in my features, but I also had my father's American nose and jawline. I sighed, turning away from the mirror. I was who I was, and that was okay.
Sarah, seeing my expression, gave me a reassuring smile.
"You look great, Em. Jake's going to be lucky to have you as his tutor." She turned me around and pushed me gently towards the door. "Now, go. Have fun. And remember, just be yourself."
I took a deep breath and walked out of my dorm room, Sarah's words echoing in my mind. Just be yourself. Easier said than done, I thought as I made my way to The Grind.