Chapter 16: Not Joel
Dear Diary,
I was nervous about telling Joel that I had fallen in love with Lou again.
I knew it was going to be difficult, but I couldn't keep lying to him. I had to be honest, no matter how much it hurt.
I took a deep breath and dialed Joel's number. He answered on the second ring, his voice cheerful and unaware of the storm that was about to hit him.
"Hey, babe," he said, his voice warm and familiar. "I miss you."
I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I had to say. "Joel, we need to talk," I said, my voice serious.
There was a pause on the other end of the line, and I could hear the smile fade from Joel's voice.
"Is everything okay, Isabella?" he asked, his voice suddenly concerned.
I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "I don't know how to say this, Joel," I started, my voice shaking slightly. "I've been seeing someone else."
There was a long silence on the other end of the line, and I could hear Joel's breath catch in his throat. "Who is it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I hesitated, not sure how to answer. "It's Lou," I said finally, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside me.
There was another long pause, and I could hear Joel's breath coming in short gasps.
"Lou?" he repeated, his voice filled with disbelief. "The same Lou who cheated on you? The same Lou who broke your heart?"
I sighed, rubbing my temples as I tried to explain. "I know it sounds crazy, Joel. But things are different now. Lou has changed. He's not the same person he was before."
Joel scoffed, his voice filled with anger. "People don't change that much, Isabella. Not when it comes to cheating. He'll do it again, and you'll be left picking up the pieces."
I shook my head, even though Joel couldn't see me. "You don't understand, Joel. I love him.
I love Lou. And I can't keep pretending that I don't. I can't keep lying to Joel, no matter how much it hurts him. I have to be honest, even if it means losing him.
Joel was silent for a moment, and I could hear him taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. "I can't believe this, Isabella," he said finally, his voice filled with pain. "I thought we had something special. I thought you felt the same way about me as I do about you."
I felt a pang of guilt in my chest, but I knew I had to be honest. "I do care about you, Joel. So much.
But I can't deny what I feel for Lou. It's not just physical, even though the sex is incredible. There's a connection between us, a spark that I can't ignore. I've tried to push it away, to deny it, but it's always there, burning like a flame in the back of my mind.
Joel's voice was filled with pain, and it broke my heart to hear it. "I don't know what to say, Isabella. I thought we were happy. I thought we had a future together." "We were happy, Joel. And I still care about you. But I can't keep living a lie.
I have to be honest with you, Joel. I have to be honest with myself. I love him in a way that I've never loved anyone before. You are an incredible person, handsome, muscular, hung, amazing in bed.
Joel was silent for a moment, and I could hear him taking deep breaths, trying to process what I was saying. "I don't know what to say, Isabella," he said finally, his voice filled with pain. "I thought we were building something special together. I thought we had a future." "We did have something special, Joel.
And I'll always cherish the time we spent together. But I can't keep pretending that I don't have feelings for Lou. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me." I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I had to say next. "I think we should take a break. At least until I figure out what I want." Joel was silent for a moment, and I could hear the pain in his voice when he finally spoke. "You really want to do this, Isabella? You want to throw away what we have for a chance with Lou?" I closed my eyes, tears stinging at the corners. "I'm sorry, Joel. I never meant to hurt you.
I never meant to cause you pain. I can't keep pretending that I don't have feelings for Lou. It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me. I need to be honest with myself, and with you. I need to figure out what I want, and what I need.
I know this is going to be hard for you, Joel. I know this is going to hurt. But I have to do what's right, no matter how much it hurts. I have to follow my heart, even if it means letting go of something that's been so good for me.
I know you're going to be angry.
With a sad voice, Joel asked: can you come over for a last fuck?
I hesitated for a moment, but I knew that I had to say goodbye to him properly. I agreed and went to his apartment.
When I arrived, Joel was already waiting for me at the door. He looked sad and defeated, but he still managed to give me a small smile. He led me inside and we sat down on the couch.
"Can I get you something to drink?"
"No, thank you," I replied softly.
We sat in silence for a moment, the tension in the room palpable. Finally, Joel spoke up.
"I know this is hard for you, Isabella. It's hard for me too. But I want you to know that I still care about you.
You mean a lot to me, and I'm going to miss you. I just need to figure out what I want, and what I need. I need to follow my heart, even if it means letting go of something that's been so good for me.
Joel nodded, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "I understand, Isabella. I really do. I just wish you could see that Lou is not the right person for you. He's going to hurt you again, and I don't want to see that happen."
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I know it's a risk, Joel. But I have to take it. I need to see if things are going to work out with Lou. But I'm here to take your big cock!" I said, my voice sultry as I reached out and grabbed Joel's cock through his pants. I could feel it hardening at my touch, and it made me smile.
Joel groaned, his eyes darkening with desire. "You're playing with fire, Isabella," he said, his voice low and husky.
I smirked, my hand continuing to stroke him through his pants. "I like playing with fire," I replied. "Especially when it comes to you."
Joel's hands reached out and grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him. "You're going to regret saying that," he growled, his voice thick with lust.
I laughed, my body pressing against his.
"I doubt that," I said, my voice playful. "Besides, I'm not the one who's going to regret this."
Joel's eyes flashed with a mix of desire and anger. "You're a tease, Isabella," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "You know exactly what you're doing to me."
I smirked, my hand still stroking his cock through his pants. "And you love it," I said, my voice sultry.
Joel's hands gripped my hips tighter, his fingers digging into my flesh as he pulled me closer to him. "You're right," he growled.
"I fucking love it. And I'm going to show you just how much."
Joel's hands moved quickly, unbuttoning my blouse and pushing it off my shoulders. My bra followed soon after, and his mouth was on my breasts, sucking and biting at my nipples until they were hard and aching.
"Fuck, Joel," I moaned, my hands tangling in his hair as he continued to tease me.
He chuckled, his hands moving to my pants and pushing them down my legs. I kicked them off, along with my panties, leaving me completely naked.
Joel stood up, his eyes roaming over my body like a predator ready to pounce.
"Lou fucks me in missionary pounding hard and deep. You never did it afraid of hurting me. Forget the fear! Show me you are a sexual best!" I taunted Joel, my voice laced with challenge.
Joel's eyes flashed with determination. "You're going to regret that, Isabella," he growled, pushing me back onto the couch and spreading my legs wide.
I gasped as he dropped to his knees in front of me, his hands gripping my thighs tightly. "I've been wanting to taste you since the moment you walked through my door," he said, his voice low and husky.
Before I could respond, his mouth was on me, his tongue licking and sucking at my pussy like a starving man. I moaned loudly, my hands fisting in his hair as he devoured me.
His tongue was like a magic wand, flicking and sucking at my clit, driving me wild.
"Fuck, Joel," I panted, my hips bucking against his face. "You're going to make me come."
Joel looked up at me, his eyes dark with lust. "That's the plan, baby," he said, his voice low and husky. "I want to taste you coming on my tongue."
I cried out as he doubled his efforts, his fingers joining his tongue, sliding inside me and curling up to hit that spot that made me see stars.
I was a writhing, moaning mess, my body on fire with pleasure. I could feel my orgasm building, my muscles tensing and my breath coming in short gasps.
"Fuck, Joel," I moaned, my voice hoarse with desire. "I'm going to come. I'm going to come all over your face."
Joel looked up at me, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Come for me, Isabella," he growled. "I want to feel you come."
And with that, I did. My body convulsed, my pussy clenching around his fingers as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me.
Joel didn't let up, his tongue and fingers continuing to work me through my orgasm, drawing out every last drop of ecstasy.
"Fuck, Joel," I panted, my body limp and spent. fuck."
Joel stood up, his face glistening with my juices. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, a satisfied smirk on his face. "You taste fucking incredible, Isabella," he said, his voice low and gravelly.
I looked up at him, my eyes hungry as I took in his muscular body. "I want you inside me, Joel," I said, my voice sultry.
"I want to feel you fuck me like you're the last man on earth."
Joel's eyes darkened with desire, and he quickly shed his clothes, revealing his muscular, tattooed body. His cock was hard and ready, standing proud and tall. I licked my lips, my pussy already throbbing with anticipation.
"Fuck, Isabella," Joel growled, his voice thick with lust. "You're going to get what you want. You're going to get fucked like you've never been fucked before."
He grabbed my hips and flipped me over, so I was on my hands and knees on the couch.
I could feel his cock pressing against my entrance, and I pushed back against him, eager to feel him inside me.
"Fuck, Joel," I moaned, my voice filled with desire. "I need you. I need you to fuck me."
Joel growled, his hands gripping my hips tightly as he thrust into me, filling me completely. I cried out, my body arching as he slammed into me, his cock hitting that spot deep inside me that made my toes curl.
"Fuck, you feel so good," Joel grunted, his hips moving in a steady rhythm as he pounded into me. "Your pussy is so tight, so wet.
I can feel you gripping my cock like a vice," Joel groaned, his voice thick with lust as he continued to pound into me. I moaned, my hands fisting in the cushions of the couch as I pushed back against him, meeting his thrusts with my own.
"Harder, Joel," I begged, my voice hoarse with desire. "Fuck me harder. Show me what I'm missing."
Joel growled, his grip on my hips tightening as he slammed into me even harder, his cock hitting that spot deep inside me that made my vision blur.
"Is this what you wanted, Isabella?" he grunted, his voice laced with anger and desire. "Is this what Lou gives you?"
I moaned, my body arching as I pushed back against him, taking every inch of his cock. "No," I gasped, my voice ragged. "Lou doesn't fuck me like this. He's too gentle, too careful. You're fucking me like an animal, Joel. Like you hate me."
Joel's laugh was dark and dangerous, sending shivers down my spine. "I do hate you, Isabella," he said, his voice low and menacing. "I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for choosing Lou over me.
And I'm going to fuck that hate right out of me, right into your tight little pussy."
I gasped, my body clenching around him at his filthy words. Joel's hands moved to my ass, squeezing and spreading my cheeks as he continued to pound into me.
"Fuck, Joel," I moaned, my voice ragged. "You're so fucking big. You're stretching me so good."
Joel chuckled darkly, his thumb pressing against my asshole, sending a jolt of pleasure through me. "You like that, don't you, you little slut?
You like it when I talk dirty to you," Joel growled, his thumb pressing harder against my asshole, pushing just the tip inside.
I moaned loudly, my body writhing with pleasure. "Yes," I gasped. I love it when you talk dirty to me." "You're a dirty little whore, Isabella. You love getting fucked hard, don't you?"
I could only moan in response, my body arching as Joel continued to pound into me, his thumb moving in and out of my ass in time with his cock.
The sensation was overwhelming, the pleasure bordering on pain as he stretched me in both holes.
"Fuck, Joel," I panted, my voice ragged.
Joel's laugh was dark and dangerous. "That's the plan, baby. I want to feel you come all over my cock."
He reached around with his free hand, his fingers finding my clit and rubbing it in tight circles. I cried out, my body convulsing as waves of pleasure washed over me.
"That's it, Isabella," Joel growled, his voice thick with lust.
Come all over my cock." Joel's thumb moved faster, his fingers rubbing my clit in tight circles, sending me spiraling towards the edge. I'm going to come all over your cock."
Joel's hips moved faster, his cock pounding into me with a force that made my toes curl. His thumb pushed deeper into my ass, stretching me even more.
"Come for me, Isabella," Joel grunted, his voice laced with anger and desire.
"Come all over my cock. I could feel the pleasure building, my body on fire with need.
Joel's cock was hitting that spot deep inside me, sending jolts of electricity through my body. His thumb in my ass and his fingers on my clit were pushing me closer and closer to the edge. "I'm so close. I'm going to come."
Joel growled, his hips slamming into me even harder. "Come for me, Isabella," he grunted. I want to feel you milking me."
His dirty words sent me over the edge. I screamed, my body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me.
Joel's cock throbbed inside me, filling me with his hot cum as he continued to pound into me, his thumb still buried in my ass.
"Fuck, Isabella," Joel groaned, his voice ragged as he came down from his own orgasm. "You feel so fucking good. Your pussy is milking my cock so well."
I could only moan in response, my body limp and spent as Joel slowly pulled out of me. He removed his thumb from my ass, and I could feel the emptiness immediately.
Joel flopped down onto the couch next to me, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.
I lay there for a moment, my body still tingling with the aftershocks of my orgasm, before I rolled over to face him. His eyes were closed, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Fuck, that was intense," I said, my voice still breathless.
Joel's eyes fluttered open, and he looked over at me. "You have no idea," he said, his voice low and husky. "I've never fucked anyone like that before."
I smirked, my body still aching from his rough handling. "Well, I'm glad you saved it for me," I said, my voice playful.
Joel's smile faded, and he looked at me seriously.
"You know, I never wanted to be that guy, Isabella. The guy who fucks like he hates you. But I can't help it. I'm so fucking angry with you. With Lou. With this whole fucking situation."
I reached out and touched his cheek, my thumb brushing against the stubble on his jaw. "I know, Joel. I'm so sorry."
Joel's eyes flashed with anger, and he grabbed my wrist, pushing my hand away. "Don't fucking apologize, Isabella. This is the last time we'll see each other. Go and TRY to be happy with Lou. And when he breaks your heart again, AND HE WILL BREAK YOUR HEART, don't come looking for me to cry on my shoulder.
I've never forgotten these words. They were the last ones I heard Joel saying.