Cover of The Ring of Ribald Desires

The Ring of Ribald Desires

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first person erotic, comedic story about a gregarious and funny, but also vain and extremely horny guy who has huge muscles and a huge cock. He loves gigantic ass and tits and fantasizes about women with curves so large they can barely move. He finds a magic ring that allows him to control his own size and the size and shape of other people. He uses it to turn his busty and curvy neighbors into his playthings and make himself into a giant muscle god.

Chapter 1: The Ring in the Dirt

The iron felt good. Not just good—necessary. Like breathing. The seventy-pound dumbbell traveled a perfect arc from my hip to my shoulder, bicep swelling into a hard, veiny peak under the strain. I held it there, locked at the top, and turned my head to admire the mountain of my shoulder in the floor-to-ceiling mirror. The mirror was cracked in the corner, a spiderweb of fissures from when I’d slammed a barbell into it last year celebrating a new max. I never replaced it. The cracks felt like trophies.

“Yeah,” I grunted to my reflection. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

The gym in my basement was a beautiful, chaotic mess. Dumbbells lay scattered where they’d been dropped, a Jenga tower of calibrated ego. Sweat towels, stiff and salty, were draped over the belt squat machine, the rack, the handle of the fridge. The air was thick with the smell of effort: ozone from the old fluorescent lights, the sharp tang of pre-workout powder, the deep, organic scent of old sweat and rubber mats. It was my church. My kingdom.

On the ninth rep, my grip faltered. The dumbbell’s sharp edge clanged against the rack before thudding to the floor, rolling with a lazy, heavy sound. It came to rest against the leg press sled.

That’s when I saw the glint.

A dull, brassy flicker from under the massive weight platform. I knelt, my knees popping, and shoved the sled aside with a metallic screech. There, in a nest of dust bunnies and a discarded protein bar wrapper, was a ring.

It wasn’t much to look at. Tarnished silver or maybe white gold, worn so thin it was almost wire. The setting held a piece of smoky, murky quartz that looked like a frozen blob of mud. I almost tossed it into the trash can. But something made me pick it up.

It was warm. Not body-warm, but a deep, vibrational heat, like holding a speaker pulsing with a bass you couldn’t hear. It hummed against my palm, a silent frequency that traveled up my arm and settled in my teeth.

“Weird,” I muttered. For a laugh, I slipped it onto the ring finger of my right hand. It fit like it had been molded for me.

I stood and faced the mirror again, flexing out of habit. The same massive frame stared back. Broad shoulders like a yoke, chest a solid slab, waist trim. I was a masterpiece of time and trenbolone. But I saw the flaws. The left pec was a hair fuller than the right. The lower bicep peak could be sharper. My dick, a thick bulge in my gray sweat shorts, was impressive—a lifetime gift—but in my mind, it was just… proportionate. It should be a weapon. A spectacle. It should match the rest of the monument.

I thought about my last hookup, Sarah the bartender. Her eyes had gone wide when my pants came off. She’d called it incredible. But after, as she dressed, she’d just looked… normal. Unimpressed. Like she’d seen it before. The memory irritated me. I wanted a reaction that lasted. I wanted a jaw on the floor. I wanted women who weren’t just fit, but cartoonish. Fantasies made flesh, with hips that defied physics and chests that needed architectural support. Women who couldn’t just walk away casually.

The ring pulsed.

A gentle heat, then a sudden, electric sizzle up my finger. I gasped.

In the mirror, my right pectoral twitched. Then it… bloomed. It wasn’t a pump. It was growth. The muscle fiber bulged outward, thickening, expanding, stretching the skin of my chest taut. The left side followed, swelling in perfect, horrifying symmetry. My pecs surged forward, becoming denser, rounder, casting a deeper shadow down my torso. The fissures in the mirror now cut across a new, more massive landscape.

“What the…”

The hum in the ring became a song. A low, throbbing chant in my blood. My biceps followed. They hardened, the peaks rising higher, veins surfacing like ivy on a marble column. A dense, sweeping cramp seized my latissimus dorsi, and I watched, mouth agape, as my back widened in the mirror, V-taper exploding into a surreal X-frame. My shorts tightened. I looked down.

The bulge was no longer just a bulge. It was a substantial, straining weight against the fabric, thickening, lengthening, demanding room. I felt a heavy, full sensation, a radical re-mapping of my own body. I ripped the waistband of my shorts down in a panic.

It was… more. Thicker in my fist than any conceivable normal. Longer. A ridiculous, undeniable testament to sheer excess. A laugh bubbled out of me—sharp, unhinged, euphoric.

This wasn’t steroids. This wasn’t surgery. This was magic.

The word should have terrified me. It didn’t. It lit a fuse in my brain. My fantasies, those dark, private sketches of impossible women, flashed behind my eyes. Curves that weren’t curves, they were geometric wonders. Softness so extreme it became power. I thought of them, and the ring sang louder.

I focused on the thought. Not just a big ass. A profound one. One that would strain denim to dust, that would wobble with a life of its own with the smallest shift in gravity.

A searing, pleasant ache bloomed in my own glutes. I twisted, craning my neck to see the mirror. The muscle there rounded, expanded, pushing my sweat shorts into a tighter, obscene grip. I was growing. The ring was making me grow.

But a colder, sharper thought sliced through the wonder. This wasn’t just about me.

What if I could project it?

What if I could project it?

The thought was a spark in a room full of gas. The humming in the ring seemed to quicken, to listen. My eyes, wide and electric, scanned the chaotic room—the racks, the mirrors, the dusty corner where the old treadmill sat under a dropped ceiling tile.

That’s when I saw her.

In the corner, partially shadowed, a young woman was on the treadmill. Mia. She cleaned the gym twice a week for cash under the table. She was walking at an incline, earbuds in, dressed in black leggings and a loose tank top. She was watching me in the giant mirror, her eyes wide and fixed on my chest, my arms, the blatant, impossible change in my physique. Her mouth was slightly open. She’d seen the whole thing.

Our eyes met in the glass. Instead of fear, I saw a stunned, almost reverent curiosity. She had a nice body—athletic, a soccer player’s build. A strong, rounded ass in those leggings. Nice. But nice was the problem. Nice was forgettable.

My heart hammered against my new, barrel-sized ribcage. The ring’s pulse synced with my heartbeat. Thrum-thrum. Thrum-thrum.

I didn’t just look at her. I focused. I pushed the buzzing, hungry feeling from the ring, down my arm, through my glaring eyes, and at her. I imagined that strong, rounded ass not as it was, but as it could be. I pictured the fabric of her leggings straining, not from muscle, but from sudden, glorious fat. I visualized the curve amplifying, widening, becoming a heavy, jutting shelf of softness. I thought of it growing so immense, so fast, that it would throw off her balance on that moving belt.

The ring burned. A silent, visible wave of distortion shimmered in the air between us, like heat off asphalt.

Mia’s walking stride hitched.

A sharp, surprised “Oh!” escaped her lips, audible even over the whirring motor. Her hands flew from the side rails to clutch her lower back. Her hips jerked.

In the mirror, I watched it happen. The black fabric of her leggings stretched. A deep, central seam whispered a threat of failure. The rounded curves of her glutes swelled outward, deepening, thickening, gaining mass and weight in real time. It wasn’t a slow pump; it was a radical, volumetric addition. The athletic shape melted and reformed into something ludicrous, something soft and overwhelmingly proportioned. Her tank top rode up, exposing the sensitive dip of her spine above this new, breathtaking topography.

She stumbled, her balance undone by the rapid shift in her center of gravity. The treadmill belt shot her backwards. She flailed, arms wheeling, and crashed onto the rubberized floor with a heavy, soft thud, her new assets cushioning the fall dramatically.

She lay there for a second, breathless, confused. Then she pushed herself up on her elbows, her body moving with a new, unfamiliar heaviness. She looked over her shoulder, her eyes wide with panic, trying to see what she could feel. She twisted, her hands reaching back to pat, to grope, to confirm the impossible.

Her fingers found solid, generous flesh where firm muscle had been. A choked sound, part sob, part laugh, burst from her.

“What… what did you…” she stammered, looking from her own transformed body to me, her gaze dropping to the grotesque, proud bulge still blatantly exposed between my legs. The connection was made. Terror and something else—a dark, captivated awe—flickered across her face.

The ring was ice and fire on my finger. It chanted. It wanted more.

I looked from Mia’s shocked, watering eyes to my own colossal reflection—a grinning, vain god amid the cracked glass and dust. The air didn’t smell like sweat anymore. It smelled like lightning, and wet clay, and pure, screaming potential.

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