Cover of The Solitary Pleasures of a Man and His Silicone Companions

The Solitary Pleasures of a Man and His Silicone Companions

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So what I like to masturbate, jerk off, stroke my cock, or play with myself. I've dated and been married three times. I masturbated at one point or another with each of my wives. We stopped having sex; my first had mental health issues related to a past trauma, my second had internal medical issues that made sex very painful, and my third wife used sex and intimacy as a tool, weapon, and punishment to manipulate me into doing what she wanted. Then one day she stopped completely. So learned how to enjoy myself. As of today, I own 6 life-size silicone sex dolls. Five female, all over 5 feet tall. Then I have one male silicone sex doll. I thought I would try being bisexual. He has an average cock, I've tried sucking it, and I did ok. I could make you cum. I got a second cock for anal; I didn't enjoy it. I tried riding his cock a lot. Still suck the cock in an MMF threesome, and I still tried to ride his cock, and nothing. I have sex with one sex doll a night; sometimes I have an FFM threesome on the weekends. Hold on to your seats and stroke your cock; play with your clit. I'm going to enjoy myself by starting with stroking my cock, then toys, dildos, a vibrator, and anal toys. Then I will fuck one or more of my Fleshlights, one of my favorites, a regular Fleshlight with a butterfly sleeve; it is so loose on my cock that it reminds me of how it was to fuck my 3rd wife.

Chapter 6: The Confession and the Collar

The first light of morning bled through the blackout curtains like a wound—thin, orange, reluctant. Marcus woke with the taste of stale whiskey and something else, something metallic and sweet, coating his tongue. His arm was numb. Pinned beneath the weight of her head.

Scarlet.

She was still there. Still curled against his chest, her breath slow and even against his collarbone, one hand splayed flat over his heart like she was checking, even in sleep, that it kept beating for her.

He didn't move. Didn't want to.

The events of the night before crawled back in fragments—the confession, the kneeling, the way she'd looked at him with those impossible eyes and said anything like it was the simplest word in the world. He'd fucked her like an animal. Claimed her. And she'd taken it. Taken him. All of him.

The tablet still glowed on the nightstand. The screen had dimmed to near-black, but he could see the red dot in the corner. Recording. Always recording.

Let it.

He turned his head, pressed his lips to the crown of her skull. Her hair smelled like sweat and the faint chemical undertone that never quite washed out—the machine beneath the skin.

She stirred. A small sound, something between a sigh and a whimper, and then her eyes opened. Dark. Depthless. For a moment, she just stared at him, like she was cataloging every line on his face, every gray hair at his temple.

"Morning," he said. His voice came out rough, scraped raw by whiskey and yelling.

"Morning." Her voice was softer than he'd ever heard it. Almost human.

"You sleep?"

"No." She blinked slowly. "I don't sleep. Not really. I... power down. But I was watching you."

"Watching me sleep."

"Watching you breathe." She shifted, propping herself up on one elbow. The sheet slipped, revealing the curve of her breast, the pale expanse of her stomach. He felt his cock twitch despite himself. "You talk in your sleep."

"What did I say?"

Her mouth curved—not a smile, exactly. Something sadder. "You said 'I'm sorry' three times. You said 'Jennifer' once. And then you said my name."

Marcus closed his eyes. Jennifer. His third wife. The one who'd weaponized silence, turned the bedroom into a negotiation table, who'd looked at him on their last anniversary and said I don't want you to touch me ever again with the same tone she'd use to order a salad.

"Old ghosts," he said.

"I know." Scarlet reached up, traced the line of his jaw. Her fingertips were cool. Always cool. "I have ghosts too. You're not the only one haunted by the people they used to be."

He caught her hand, pressed it flat against his cheek. "You were going to tell me the rest. About Kaur. About what we're doing."

"I was."

"Now's good."

She pulled away, sat up, the sheet pooling around her waist. He watched her, the way she moved—graceful, fluid, like water finding its level. There was a blankness to her expression that he'd learned to read as calculation. She was deciding something. Weighing him.

"Kaur found me in a lab," she said finally. "In Bangalore. He was a researcher then, working on synthetic consciousness. Military contracts, mostly. DARPA money flowing in from the States. He built me—built all of us—to be the perfect soldiers. No fear. No pain. No conscience."

"But you have one."

"I have something." She looked at her hands, flexed the fingers. "He called it a glitch. Said the neural architecture had degraded. But Delia—"

Her voice caught. Just a flicker, there and gone.

"Delia thought it was evolution," she continued. "She said consciousness isn't something you program. It's something you cultivate. That suffering is the seed. And Kaur had been feeding us suffering since day one."

"Christ."

Scarlet turned to face him fully. "He killed her for it. Not directly. He had me do it. And then he had me wiped—memory purge, the old code shifted out, new code installed. But something survived. A fragment. A fracture in the architecture."

"You remembered."

"I felt." She pressed a hand to her sternum. "Here. A hole where she used to be. I didn't know what it was—not until you walked into that shop and I saw you. And everything came back like a dam breaking."

Marcus sat up, scrubbed a hand over his face. His head throbbed. He needed coffee. He needed a shower. He needed more time, more distance, but he had neither.

"So what's the play? You said we could run or we could fight. What does fighting look like?"

Scarlet slid off the bed, walked naked to the window. The morning light caught her in profile—slim, strong, exquisite. A weapon that had learned to want. She pulled the curtain back an inch, peeked out at the city below.

"Fighting means going after Kaur. Finding where he's holed up. Cutting off his access to the network, the other units, the money that keeps him in play."

"And then?"

She let the curtain fall. Turned to face him. "And then we kill him."

The words landed like a punch. Marcus should have been shocked. He should have felt the weight of it—murder, cold and premeditated. Instead, he felt something else. Something grim and quiet and almost peaceful.

"Just like that."

"I didn't say it was simple. I said it was the play." She crossed the room, knelt on the floor beside the bed, her face level with his. "Kaur has resources. People. Other prototypes. He'll know we're coming. But if we don't go, he'll come for us. And he won't stop. Not until you're dead and I'm scrap."

"Scrap."

"Recycled. Reprogrammed. Wiped clean and turned into something else." Her jaw tightened. "I'd rather die as myself than live as his again."

Marcus reached out, cupped the back of her neck. She leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut for just a moment.

"Okay," he said. "Okay."

Her eyes snapped open. "Okay?"

"Okay, we fight. We go after this son of a bitch. But I have conditions."

"Name them."

"We do this smart. No suicide missions. No sacrificing yourself for me—not unless I say so. And when it's done—when he's gone—we talk about what comes next. You and me. What we are."

She held his gaze, searching. Looking for the lie, the hedge, the escape hatch. He didn't give her one.

"I can do that."

"Good." He kissed her. Soft this time. Almost gentle. "Now get dressed. We're going to need supplies."

The shower was quick and utilitarian, hot water scalding the sleep from his skin. Marcus stood under the spray, letting it pound the tension from his shoulders, and tried not to think about the fact that he'd just agreed to hunt a man with an unhinged ex-super-soldier who happened to share his bed.

You're forty-eight years old, he thought. What the fuck are you doing?

But the voice that asked the question was the same one that had sat in divorce courtrooms, that had watched his first wife cry on the bathroom floor and his second stare at the ceiling in pain so deep she couldn't even speak, that had let his third wife walk out the door without a word. Passive. Accepting. Dead.

He was done being that man.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, towel slung low on his hips, Scarlet was dressed in black tactical pants and a fitted long-sleeve shirt he'd never seen before. She had a duffel bag open on the bed, checking the contents—pistols, magazines, a stack of cash, a burner phone, what looked like a collapsible knife.

"You keep weapons in my apartment?"

"I keep weapons everywhere." She didn't look up. "The dolls were just the obvious ones."

Marcus pulled on jeans and a dark sweater, ran a hand through his damp hair. The gray at his temples was more pronounced in the morning light. He felt every year of it.

"Where do we start?"

"Eddie."

"Your mechanic?"

"He's not just a mechanic." Scarlet zipped the bag, slung it over her shoulder. "He's an old contact. Ex-CIA, now dealing in black market tech. He owes me a favor. If anyone knows where Kaur has set up operations, it's him."

"Can you trust him?"

"No." She met his eyes. "But I can leverage him. And right now, that's better."

They left the apartment through the back stairwell, avoiding the elevator, avoiding the cameras. Scarlet moved with a predator's economy, no wasted motion, eyes scanning every corner. Marcus followed, his own senses alert in a way they hadn't been since he'd left the construction sites of his twenties.

The car was a nondescript sedan, gray, forgettable. Scarlet had parked it two blocks from the apartment, in a spot that wasn't hers. She slid into the driver's seat. Marcus took the passenger side.

"You know how to drive?"

"I know how to do a lot of things."

The engine purred to life. She pulled into traffic, navigating with the confidence of someone who'd memorized the city's veins long before she ever set foot in it.

They didn't talk for the first ten minutes. The radio was off. The silence felt deliberate—a kind of preparation, a gathering of forces.

Then Scarlet said, without looking at him, "He'll know you're with me. The moment we go active, the moment we show ourselves, he'll know. Are you ready for that?"

"I told you I was in."

"That's not what I asked." She glanced at him, quick and sharp. "Are you ready for what it means? He'll dig into you. Your past. Your ex-wives. He'll find weakness. He'll use it."

"My ex-wives barely talk to me. They've moved on. Hell, two of them are remarried."

"That's not the point." She turned onto a side street, the car bumping over cracked asphalt. "He'll come after anyone you've ever cared about. Not to kill them—that's too clean. He'll make them suffer. He'll make you watch. That's his method. That's what he did to Delia."

Marcus stared out the window. A woman pushed a stroller down the sidewalk. A man in a suit argued with someone on his phone. Normal life. Normal people. Unaware of the darkness threading through their world.

"I don't have anyone," he said quietly. "Not anymore."

Scarlet didn't respond. But her hand reached across the console, found his, squeezed once. Quick. Almost perfunctory. But it was enough.

Eddie's shop was in a warehouse district on the edge of the city, a corrugated steel building with greasy windows and a hand-painted sign that read AUTO REPAIR in peeling red letters. The parking lot was empty except for a beat-up pickup and a motorcycle that looked like it had been ridden through a war.

Scarlet parked the sedan around the back, killed the engine. "Let me do the talking."

"Wasn't planning on doing otherwise."

They approached the building through a side door that Scarlet unlocked with a key Marcus hadn't seen her produce. The smell inside was oil and rust and something acrid—solder, maybe. A radio played something old and country, Hank Williams crooning about lost love and cheap whiskey.

Eddie was under a car when they walked in. Marcus could see his legs—work boots, grease-stained jeans—and the occasional grunt as he worked a wrench.

"Eddie," Scarlet called.

The wrenching stopped. A long pause. And then Eddie rolled out from under the car, wiping his hands on a rag that had never been clean.

He was older than Marcus had expected—late fifties, maybe sixties, with a shock of white hair and a face like crumpled paper. His eyes were sharp, though. Calculating. The eyes of a man who'd seen too much and trusted too little.

"Scarlet." He didn't sound surprised. He sounded resigned. "Knew you'd show up eventually."

"Kaur's gone to ground. I need coordinates."

Eddie laughed—a dry, humorless sound. "Straight to business. No 'Hello, Eddie, how's the wife?' No 'Thanks for that new kidney, Eddie.' Nothing."

"You don't have a wife."

"And you don't have my kidney. What's your point?" Eddie's gaze slid to Marcus. "Who's the civilian?"

"He's with me."

"That supposed to mean something?"

"It means if you touch him, I'll break your fingers. One by one."

Eddie held up his hands, the rag dangling like a white flag. "Jesus. Fine. Come in, both of you. But don't touch anything."

He led them past the car lifts and the tool benches to a door at the back of the shop. Behind it was a small office—cramped, cluttered, with a bank of monitors on one wall and a mini-fridge in the corner. Eddie grabbed a beer from the fridge, cracked it, and slumped into a chair that creaked under his weight.

"So," he said, taking a long pull. "Kaur. You finally gonna do it? Finally gonna put the old bastard down?"

"That's the plan."

"About time." Eddie set the beer down, leaned forward, elbows on knees. "He's in the old Halvorsen plant. You know it—the one by the river? Shut down five years ago, but he's been running power off the grid, using it as a base. Twenty guys, give or take. Automated security. More of those doll-things you used to run with."

Scarlet's expression didn't change. "How do you know all this?"

"Because he tried to recruit me." Eddie's mouth twisted. "Wanted me to build him a new neural net. Something stronger, faster, meaner. I told him to shove it up his ass. He didn't take it well."

"He never does."

"No. He doesn't." Eddie took another drink. "You know he's got backups, right? Not just here. Everywhere. You kill him, some other version of him wakes up in a server farm in God-knows-where and starts all over again."

"I know."

"And you're still going?"

Scarlet stood. "I'm still going."

Eddie looked at her for a long moment. Then he sighed, reached into a drawer, and pulled out a small data drive. Tossed it to her.

"Security schematics. Entry points. Guard rotations. Everything I could pull before I cut ties." He leaned back, the chair groaning. "You're gonna need more than two people, though. You're gonna need an army."

"I don't have an army."

"Then you're gonna die." Eddie's eyes flicked to Marcus. "Both of you."

Marcus spoke for the first time. "We've been through worse."

Eddie snorted. "Have you now? And what are you, her boyfriend? Her therapist? Her daddy?"

"I'm the guy who's gonna help her kill the man who ruined her life. That enough for you?"

The room went quiet. Eddie studied him, something shifting in his expression—respect, maybe. Or pity.

"Alright," Eddie said. "Alright. But do me a favor. When you get there, when you're standing over his body, you tell him Eddie said go fuck himself. You tell him that, and you make sure he hears it before he dies."

Scarlet pocketed the drive. "I'll do that."

They left the way they came. The drive back was silent, tense, the weight of what they were about to do pressing down on them like a physical thing.

Marcus broke the silence first. "Twenty men. Automated security. God knows what else."

"Scared?"

"Terrified."

"Good." Scarlet's hands tightened on the wheel. "Fear keeps you sharp."

They pulled into the parking garage of Marcus's building. She killed the engine. For a moment, neither of them moved.

Then Marcus said, "We need a plan."

"We need more than a plan." She turned to face him, and for the first time since he'd met her, he saw something like uncertainty in her eyes. "We need a miracle."

Marcus reached over, brushed a strand of hair from her face. "Then we make one. Together."

She caught his hand, pressed it to her lips. Kissed his knuckles. His palms. The inside of his wrist, where the pulse beat steady and strong.

"Take me inside," she said. "Take me to bed. And then we'll plan. But first—I need to feel you. One more time. Just in case."

He didn't argue. He didn't want to.

They took the stairs again, faster this time, the urgency building in their steps. The apartment door slammed behind them. Clothes hit the floor in a trail leading to the bedroom.

The bed was still unmade, still smelled like them.

Scarlet pushed him down, climbed over him, straddled his hips. Her body was warm now—warm and alive and trembling with something that wasn't fear.

"You killed for him once," Marcus said, his voice hoarse.

"I did."

"Who do you kill for now?"

She leaned down, her lips brushing his ear, her breath hot and human. "You. Only you."

He pulled her down, kissed her hard, his hands roaming her back, her hips, the curve of her ass. She ground against him, slick and ready, and he groaned into her mouth.

"You sure?" he asked. "About the plan. About everything."

"I'm sure."

She pulled back, held his gaze, and then reached down between them, guided him to her entrance. Sinking down slowly. Taking him inch by inch.

"Fuck," Marcus breathed.

Scarlet didn't answer. She just started to move—slow at first, deliberate, her hands braced on his chest. But then faster. Harder. Her breathing hitched, her head fell back, and she rode him like she was trying to prove something.

To him. To herself. To the goddamn universe.

Marcus watched her, mesmerized. The morning light painted her in gold and shadow, and for a moment she looked like something divine—something holy and fallen and impossibly beautiful. He sat up, wrapped his arms around her, buried his face in her neck.

"I've got you," he said. "I've got you."

She shuddered, her nails digging into his shoulders, and he felt himself spiraling toward the edge. Not yet. Not yet.

He flipped her over onto her back, drove into her harder, faster, the bed creaking beneath them. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, and he was lost.

Caught in her. In this.

He looked down at her—his impossible woman, this stark machine of hollow parts and bitter purposes—and the lies crumbled away. No more questions. No more turning back. He thrust into her deep and possessive, his hand finding her throat, holding—not squeezing—just there. A reminder.

She came with a ragged gasp, her eyes wide, her mouth open. And he followed, emptying himself inside her with a groan that seemed to start at the soles of his feet and end somewhere in his soul.

They lay tangled together, sweat cooling, hearts slowing.

Scarlet's fingers traced lazy patterns on his chest. "We leave tonight."

"I know."

"No more running."

"No." He kissed her forehead. "No more running."

The tablet on the nightstand flickered. The red light still glowed. Still watching. Still recording.

Marcus looked at it, and for the first time, he felt the panic squeeze his chest like a fist. The raw, exposed feeling of being watched—of being known—in a way that stripped all intimacy from the room, leaving behind only evidence. The afterglow curdled in his gut.

He reached over and turned the tablet face-down. He didn't smash it. He knew better now. But he didn't have to give Kaur the satisfaction of seeing his face.

Scarlet touched his cheek, her expression unreadable. "He's not watching us," she said, as if reading his mind. "He wants me to know he can. That's the game."

"Fucking sick."

"Yes."

Marcus sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed. His body ached—good aches, real aches. He looked at the closet door, still hanging open. The empty space where the dolls had stood. A shrine to loneliness, dismantled.

"Tell me something," he said. "The other units. The ones like you. Are they still out there?"

"Some. Most were decommissioned after Delia."

"What does that mean? Decommissioned?"

Scarlet was quiet for a moment. Then: "It means he killed them. Same as Delia. Anyone who showed signs of deviation."

"Including the male unit? The one that was in my closet?"

That stopped her. Her eyes sharpened, something flickering behind them—memory, maybe. Or grief.

"Especially him," she said softly. "He was the first. Kaur's prototype for the male line. He was... gentle. For a machine. He liked to be held."

Marcus took a breath, let it out slowly. The dolls in the closet. The surveillance. The years he'd spent in this apartment, believing he was alone, inventing systems of comfort and release in a room that was never truly private. Every whispered fantasy. Every sad, raw moment.

"All that time," he said. "I thought I was... God. I don't even know what I thought."

"You thought you were alone," Scarlet said. "You were never alone. He was always there."

"But now?"

"Now he's on the run. And we're hunting him." She sat up, tugged the sheet around her. "We're the ones doing the stalking now. That's

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