The Unspoken Knot
Read the storyWrite I second person. I am a couples therapist. My clients, Lily and Jackson, are newlyweds. They are having sexual problems, but otherwise have a very happy marriage. They are cagey about telling me exactly what the problem is, until Lily reluctantly reveals that she wants Jackson to be rough with her during sex, but he feels deeply uncomfortable with the idea. When I ask more questions, they are both embarrassed. Lily begins to tell me more, but Jackson asks her to keep it quiet. I explain that in therapy, honesty is essential, that we'll never get to the root of the problem unless we discuss it. Jackson reluctantly agrees and Lily tells me that she and Jackson never had sex before getting married. She was imagining very rough sex. She embarrassedly tell me she wanted him to choke her, pull her hair, spit on her, slap her, tie her hands, and call her filthy names during sex. Jackson admits he is extremely uncomfortable with this type of sex, that he wants to treat his wife like a princess. Lily reveals that she has never had an orgasm during sex with Jackson, a fact he clearly was unaware of.