Chapter 2: Building Tension
The practice room mirror was ruthless in its honesty.
Ma Jingxiang stared at his reflection, watching droplets of sweat track down his temple as his group's formation fell apart for the sixth time that hour. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead like angry wasps, casting shadows that made the dark circles under his eyes look even more pronounced. His oversized white practice shirt clung to his back, and his chest heaved with exertion as he tried—and failed—to keep his frustration from showing on his face.
His gaze drifted to his members in the mirror. They were good dancers, all of them. But something wasn't clicking, and as their leader, each mistake felt like a personal failure carved into his bones.
"Again," he called out, the word tasting bitter on his tongue. "From the bridge—" A soft knock on the practice room door interrupted him.
Jing Xiang turned to see Ricky standing in the doorway, his lean frame silhouetted by the harsh fluorescent lights.
"Ricky. What are you doing here?" Jing Xiang asked, his voice a mixture of surprise and suspicion.
Ricky pushed the door open wider, stepping into the room. "I heard you guys were struggling. Thought I'd come and see if there's anything I can help with," he said, his voice neutral.
Jing Xiang's eyes narrowed. "Help? You mean criticize.
Jing Xiang thought, the bitterness still lingering in his voice. He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscles tensing. "You think you can just swoop in and fix everything? That's not how this works, Ricky."
Ricky's expression softened slightly as he looked at Jing Xiang. "No, I don't. But I can offer a fresh perspective. You guys have been at this for hours with no progress. Maybe it's time to take a step back and reassess."
Jing Xiang hesitated, his gaze flicking to his group members. He did not know why he was so petty with Ricky, especially when he took out the time to help their group. He feels that his emotions and bias should not show as a leader, but he still can't get over his grudge against Ricky for treating him poorly. His members were looking at him, waiting for his response. They wanted help, and Ricky was offering it. Jing Xiang took a deep breath, his shoulders slumping slightly in defeat. "Fine. But don't expect me to like it."
Ricky smiled, a small, genuine smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. "I wouldn't dream of it, Jing Xiang."
He stepped further into the room, his eyes scanning the group. "Alright, let's start from the beginning.
Show me what you have so far," Ricky said, his voice commanding yet gentle. Jing Xiang nodded, signaling his group to start from the top.
As the music began, Jing Xiang led his group through the choreography. Ricky watched intently, his eyes never leaving the group. He was silent, his expression unreadable. Jing Xiang could feel the weight of his gaze, the pressure to get everything right.
The group moved seamlessly through the opening sequence, their bodies moving in perfect sync. Ricky was tracking every move of the group, but he could feel his gaze was focused on Jingxiang.
He still looked every bit as intense and determined as he always had. Ricky couldn't help but be impressed by his resilience and the way he led his group.
As they reached the bridge, Ricky could see the tension building in Jingxiang's shoulders. He knew that his transitions lacks precision, and wanted to point it out during the feedback. Still, he was afraid that their relationship would get more worse. He can't help pointing out mistakes to Jingxiang since he knew that the netizens watching will also criticize and make it the main focus. He knew how cruel the korean netizens can be to international contestants since he experienced it for himself.
He cleared his throat, "Alright, let's stop there." The music faded, and the room fell silent. Jing Xiang turned to face Ricky, his expression guarded. "What's wrong with out performance?"
Jing Xiang asked, his voice tight with tension.
Ricky stepped closer to him, his eyes scanning Jing Xiang's body language. "Your transitions are off. You're rushing through them, and it's throwing off the rhythm of the group."
Jing Xiang's grip on the microphone tightened. "I know that. I've been working on it."
Ricky raised an eyebrow. "Have you? Because from where I'm standing, it looks like you're just going through the motions. You're not putting your whole self into it."
Jing Xiang's jaw clenched.
"I am putting my whole self into it, Ricky. You think this is easy for me?"
Ricky's expression softened slightly, his voice dropping to a low murmur. "I know it's not easy, Jing Xiang. But you can't let your emotions cloud your performance. You need to be present, fully engaged in every move. You're leading this group, and they're feeding off your energy. If you're rushed and disconnected, so will they be."
Jing Xiang looked away, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He knew Ricky was right, but it stung to hear the truth spoken so bluntly.
Jing Xiang's eyes flicked back to his group members, who were watching the exchange between him and Ricky with worried expressions. He took a deep breath, trying to push aside his pride. "You're right, Ricky. I've been wrong and will always be wrong. To your eyes, I have never improved and every performance I do will never be enough for you."
Jing Xiang spit out, his voice laced with frustration and resentment. The tension between them was palpable, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions. He stormed out the room and tears were building up in his eyes. It was as if a dam had broken, and all the emotions he had been holding back came rushing out. He wanted to prove himself to Ricky and his teammates. He was tired of feeling like he wasn't good enough. He was exhausted from always trying to be perfect and never meeting Ricky's expectations. He had always felt like he was competing with Ricky's high standards, which were higher than anyone else's he had met. He sighed, sliding down the wall and putting his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do anymore. He felt like a failure.
Just then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Her looked up to see one of his group members, Woo Ha Joon standing over him with concern etched on his face. "Jing Xiang-hyung, are you okay?" Woo asked, his voice filled with worry. Jing Xiang just nodded, unable to find the words to respond. He felt even more embarrassed that he was seen in this state by his teammates.
"I'll take it from here," Woo said, as he gently pulled Jing Xiang up. He led him to the nearest bench and made him sit down. "You should rest for a bit. You've been pushing yourself too hard."
Jing Xiang looked at Woo, grateful for the support.
He knew Woo was one of the few trainees who understood him and didn't judge him for his past mistakes. "Thanks, Woo," he said quietly.
Woo sat down next to him and handed him a bottle of water. "You don't have to thank me, hyung. We're in this together, remember? And we're not going to let you fall apart," Woo said, his voice firm.
Jing Xiang took a sip of the water, feeling the cool liquid soothe his parched throat. He looked at Woo, seeing the genuine concern in his eyes. Hajoon cupped his cheeks and raised it. "Aigoo, you're too pretty too cry. You're like a baby penguin," Woo Ha Joon teased, his eyes crinkling at the corners with amusement. Jing Xiang huffed out a laugh, swatting Woo's hand away from his face.
"Don't make fun of me, Ha Joon," he mumbled, wiping away the tears that had escaped. "I'm just... I'm just really tired of feeling like I'm not good enough."
Woo's expression softened, his voice dropping to a gentle murmur. "Jing Xiang , you are good enough. You're one of the best.
You're strong, determined, and passionate. You've worked hard to get here, and you deserve to be here as much as anyone else," Woo said, his voice firm with conviction.
Jing Xiang looked at Woo, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "You know, I've always been taught to be humble, to not boast about my abilities. But hearing you say that... it means a lot."
Woo smiled back at him, ruffling his hair playfully. "Don't get used to it. I'm not always this nice."
Jing Xiang laughed, feeling lighter than he had in hours.
"I'll keep that in mind, Ha Joon."
Ha Joon hugged Jingxiang tightly , "Remember, if you need anything, no matter how small, you come to me. Promise?" he said, his voice stern.
Jingxiang nodded, the warmth of the hug and Ha Joon's words melting away the last of his tears. "Promise," he whispered. He felt that maybe this physical attention was all he needed to feel better.
He leaned into Ha Joon's embrace, feeling the tension slowly leave his body. He was grateful for Ha Joon's support, but he also felt a pang of guilt. Still, it was nice to get this kind of warmth from another person. The whole sensation felt surreal
- something he'd thought he'd lost after his falling out with Ricky. It had been a while since he'd let anyone get close enough to comfort him. He didn't realize how much he missed it until now.
Woo Ha Joon gently pulled away, his eyes scanning Jing Xiang's face. "You're finally smiling Xiang-ah, I can't believe I'm the only one who witness it. Everyone is probably jealous of me right now ~"
Ha Joon said, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
Jing Xiang shook his head, laughing softly. "You're such a dork, Ha Joon."
Ha Joon grinned, not denying the accusation. "And you love it."
Jing Xiang rolled his eyes, but he couldn't deny the truth in Ha Joon's words. He did love Ha Joon's silly sense of humor. It was a welcome distraction from the constant pressure and criticism he faced every day.
"Alright, alright. I love you, Ha Joon.
But I'm not in love with you," Jing Xiang said, his voice soft but firm. "I want to be honest with you, Ha Joon. I don't want to lead you on. You deserve someone who can give you everything, and I... I can't."
Ha Joon's smile faded, replaced by a look of concern. "Xiang-ah, I never asked for your heart. I just wanted to be there for you, to support you. You don't have to love me like that. I just want to be your friend, your brother."
Jing Xiang looked down, nodding. "I know, Ha Joon.
And I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. You're right, we need to focus on the competition. We can't let anything distract us from our goal," Jing Xiang said, his voice determined but gentle.
Ha Joon nodded, his smile returning. "That's the spirit! Come on, let's get back to practice. We have a lot of catching up to do." He stood up and extended a hand to Jing Xiang, who took it and let Ha Joon pull him up from the bench.
As they walked back to the practice room, Jing Xiang couldn't shake off the heaviness in his chest. Ricky witness their encounter a few feet away. He couldn't help but feel jealous seeing Ha Joon comforting Jing Xiang. He knew that Jing Xiang was his, despite the complicated past they shared. Seeing Jing Xiang leaning into Ha Joon's embrace, Ricky felt a pang of longing and regret. He missed the intimacy they once shared, the connection that they used to have.
Ricky shook his head, pushing the thoughts aside. He couldn't afford to be distracted, not with the competition in full swing. He had a reputation to uphold, and he couldn't let his feelings for Jing Xiang cloud his judgment. Still, he doubted himself and thinking why it was so hard to reach Jingxiang at the first place during the 1st season like Woo Hajoon did. He was asking himself why he was not good enough for Jingxiang. He was afraid that Jingxiang had moved on and he would not be able to reach him. He knew he was being silly and childish at this point. He knew Jingxiang was the one he was always thinking about. He knew Jingxiang would never give up on him even if he was harsh and critical since their first reunion. He knew Jingxiang would never let go of him and would always be his rock. He just needed to find a way to smooth things out and let Jingxiang know that he still cared about him.
However, his confidence wavered knowing how easy it was for others to approach Jinxiang in that way. He didn't understand what was stopping them from connecting as they used to, and it terrified him that he might lose Jing Xiang for good.
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The Next Interim Feedback Mission
"Did you practice your fluidity, as I told you all," Ricky asked the group, his voice echoing in the vast rehearsal room. The contestants nodded in unison, their eyes reflecting a mix of determination and fatigue.
Ricky's gaze lingered on Jing Xiang, who stood at the back of the group, his arms crossed over his chest. Their eyes met briefly, and Ricky couldn't help but feel a jolt of electricity pass between them. He quickly looked away, focusing on the task at hand.
"Let's see your progress," Ricky said, gesturing for the contestants to start their performance. The music began, and the group moved in sync, their bodies fluid and graceful.
Ricky watched intently, his eyes scanning each contestant, critiquing their moves in his mind. He was impressed by the improvements he saw, but he knew they still had a long way to go.
As the group reached the chorus, Ricky's eyes were drawn to Jing Xiang. He was the center, his movements sharp and precise, but there was a stiffness to him that Ricky couldn't ignore. He was holding back, and Ricky didn't know why.
The music faded, and the group came to a stop. Ricky clapped his hands together, signaling for them to gather around him.
"Good job, everyone.
You've definitely improved since the last time I saw you. But I think we can all agree that there's still room for growth," Ricky said, his voice firm yet encouraging. He looked around at the group, his gaze finally settling on Jing Xiang. "Jing Xiang, step forward."
Jing Xiang hesitated for a moment before complying. He stepped forward, his eyes never leaving Ricky's. There was a tension between them, a silent battle of wills. Ricky could see the defiance in Jing Xiang's eyes, and it only served to fuel his own determination.
He wanted to break through that wall, to find the reason behind Jing Xiang's hesitation. He knew that Jing Xiang was holding back, and he wanted to know why.
"What's going on with you, Jing Xiang? You're not giving this your all," Ricky said, his voice steady and unyielding.
Jing Xiang's jaw clenched, and he crossed his arms over his chest. "I am giving this my all, Ricky. What more do you want from me?"
Ricky took a step closer, his voice dropping to a low murmur.
"I'll teach you personally then. It seems like you're the only one holding your group back. Come to the rehearsal room at 11:00 PM," Ricky whispered , his voice barely above the hum of the fluorescent lights. He knew that his words were harsh, but he needed to push Jing Xiang, to make him see the truth.
Jing Xiang's eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly schooled his features, nodding in agreement. "I'll be there," he said, his voice steady despite the turmoil brewing within him.
He walked towards his own dorm room and changed his clothes . He knew he had to meet Ricky tonight, but he was not prepared for the emotional rollercoaster he was going to face. He knew Ricky was going to push him, to make him confront his fears and insecurities. He hesitated as he put his shoes on, the weight of his past mistakes and regrets pressing down on him. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come.
As he walked towards the rehearsal room, he could feel the cool night air nipping at his skin, a stark contrast to the heat that was building inside him. He felt that he should practice alone before Ricky comes since he would be in no position to face him. His heart pounded in his chest, and his palms were sweaty. He was nervous, anxious, and excited all at the same time. He knew that tonight could change everything.
He opened the door to the rehearsal room and stepped inside. The room was bathed in a soft glow from the stage lights, casting long shadows against the walls. He breathed in the familiar scent of the room – a mixture of sweat, perfume, and the faint smell of smoke from the stage lights. It was a comforting scent, one that always made him feel at home.
But tonight, it was also a reminder of the countless hours he had spent in this room, trying to prove himself, trying to make his dream a reality.
Jing Xiang took a deep breath, letting the familiar scent ground him. He needed to focus, to push aside the nerves that were threatening to overwhelm him. He had a lot to prove tonight, not just to Ricky, but to himself.
He started with a warm-up, moving through familiar stretches and exercises, his body falling into the rhythm of the movements. He could feel the tension in his muscles, the lingering aches from hours of practice.
He knew he needed to push through it, to prove to himself that he could handle whatever Ricky threw at him.
As he was midway through his warm-up, the door to the rehearsal room creaked open. Jing Xiang looked up, his heart pounding in his chest. Ricky stood in the doorway, his lean frame silhouetted by the harsh fluorescent lights from the hallway.
"You came," Jing Xiang said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Ricky nodded, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.
"Of course I did. I said I would, didn't I?"
Jing Xiang swallowed hard, his eyes locked onto Ricky as he crossed the room. He could feel the weight of Ricky's gaze, the intensity of his stare as it raked over him. He felt both exposed and exhilarated, his heart pounding like a drum in his chest.
"You're early," Jing Xiang said, his voice steadier than he felt. "I thought we were meeting at 11:00 PM."
Ricky shrugged, his eyes never leaving Jing Xiang. "I couldn't wait.
I wanted to make sure you were here," Ricky said as he reached Jing Xiang. He paused, his eyes scanning Jing Xiang's body language. "You warm enough?"
Jing Xiang nodded, wrapping his arms around himself tighter. "I'm fine. Just a little nervous, I guess."
Ricky's expression softened, and he took a step closer. "There's no need to be nervous. I'm here to help you, Jing Xiang. I want to see you succeed."
Jing Xiang looked away, his eyes falling on a small tear in the seam of his practice shirt.
He picked at it absentmindedly, his mind racing with a thousand unspoken thoughts.
Ricky saw the nervous tick, the slight tremble in Jing Xiang's hands. He reached out, gently placing his hand over Jing Xiang's to stop him from picking at the shirt. "Hey," he said softly, his voice gentle yet firm. "Look at me."
Jing Xiang's eyes flicked up to meet Ricky's, his breath hitching slightly at the contact. Ricky's hand was warm, his grip firm and reassuring. "I don't know why, but it seems like every time we meet our eyes, it feels like both of us are walking on egg shells. I want to know what's wrong. Ricky said, his voice soft but firm.
Jing Xiang hesitated, his eyes searching Ricky's face for a moment before he looked away again. "It's nothing, Ricky. Just... just the competition, I guess."
Ricky's brows furrowed, and he took a step closer, his hand still covering Jing Xiang's. "Don't lie to me, Jing Xiang. I can see right through you. Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it."
Jing Xiang laughed bitterly. "You want me to talk to you? After everything that happened?
After how harsh you were the first time around?" Jing Xiang's voice was laced with bitterness, his eyes flashing with anger and pain. He shook his head, pulling his hand away from Ricky's grip. "You want me to trust you again after everything that happened? It's not that easy, Ricky."
Ricky's expression darkened, his jaw clenching as he took a step back. I know I was harsh, and I know I made mistakes. But I need you to understand that I was never trying to hurt you.
I was trying to push you to be the best version of yourself," Ricky said, his voice heavy with unshed emotions. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it disheveled. "I was hard on you because I saw potential in you, Jing Xiang. More than you saw in yourself."
Jing Xiang looked away, unable to meet Ricky's gaze. "I know you think that, Ricky. But sometimes, your methods made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Like I was constantly falling short of your expectations. I don't know if it was because of what happened during the 1st season that you still have a grudge against me."
"What do you mean?" Ricky
asked, taking a step closer to Jing Xiang. "You can't still be holding onto that? It's been three years, Jing Xiang."
Jing Xiang turned to face Ricky, his eyes flashing with a mix of anger and pain. "Three years, Ricky? You think three years is long enough to forget that you were the one who ghosted me?" Jing Xiang said, his voice shaking with emotion. "You think it's easy to forget that you were the one who promised to help me, to guide me, and then disappeared without a trace?"
Ricky's expression hardened
at Jing Xiang's words, but he didn't deny them. Instead, he took a deep breath, his voice softening. "I know I hurt you, Jing Xiang. I always knew that. But you have to understand, it was never my intention. I... I was a mess back then."
Jing Xiang's eyes narrowed, his arms crossing over his chest. "A mess? You mean like the kind that runs away from his problems?"
Ricky flinched at the accusation, his eyes dropping to the floor. "Yes, like that. I was dealing with my own situation, and I... I didn't handle it well."
"Then, why did you pretend like you never knew me after our performance?" Jingxiang challenged, his chest heaving with emotion. "Why did you act like we never had something special between us?"
Ricky finally looked up, his eyes meeting Jingxiang's. They were filled with a raw, unguarded pain that made Jingxiang's heart ache. "Because I thought it was better for you if I stayed away. I thought... I thought that things would go back to us always arguing. I never want that to happen, especially with you. You were the only one in the group who can understand me. I was scared to admit that I loved you at the first sight. I don't want us to get separated because of a stupid little crush"
Ricky confessed, each word tearing at his heart. He reached out, hesitantly touching Jing Xiang's cheek. Jing Xiang flinched slightly, but didn't pull away. Ricky's thumb brushed away a stray tear, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I never meant to hurt you, Jing Xiang. I never meant to push you away. But I was... I was too scared to let you in. Too scared to admit how much you meant to me."
Jing Xiang's breath hitched, his eyes searching Ricky's face.
He could see the sincerity in Ricky's eyes, and it broke something inside him. He wanted to believe him, to trust him again. But the past three years had been a rollercoaster of emotions, and it was hard to let go of the pain and hurt.
Ricky's thumb brushed away another tear, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know it's hard to trust me again, Jing Xiang. I know I don't deserve it. But I want to make things right. I want to be the person you deserve."
Jing Xiang's vision blurred, his heart aching with a mix of pain and longing.
He had been holding onto this anger and hurt for so long that it had become a part of him. But looking into Ricky's eyes, hearing the sincerity in his voice, he couldn't help but feel a flicker of hope. A hope that maybe, just maybe, they could start over.
"I... I don't know what to say," Jing Xiang mumbled, his voice barely audible. Ricky's thumb brushed away another tear, his gaze never leaving Jing Xiang's face.
"You don't have to say anything, Xiang. Just let me make it up to you," Ricky whispered, leaning in closer.
"Give me a chance, Xiang. Let me show you how much I care."
Jing Xiang's breath hitched, his heart pounding like a drum in his chest. He saw the sincerity in Ricky's eyes, the raw, unguarded pain and longing that mirrored his own. It was like a magnet pulling him in, urging him to trust again despite the past hurts.
"Ricky, I..." Jing Xiang trailed off, his voice barely a whisper. He wanted to believe him, to trust him again, but the scars of their past ran deep.
He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his breath hitching with each word Ricky spoke. He could see the sincerity in Ricky's eyes, the raw, unguarded pain and longing that mirrored his own.
But there was still a part of him that held back, a part that was afraid to get hurt again. He had been down this road before, and it had ended in heartache and disappointment. He didn't know if he was strong enough to go through that again.
But there was also a part of him that wanted nothing more than to be with Ricky, to trust him again. The war within him was palpable, the tension between them almost electric.
Ricky took a step closer, his hand reaching up to cup Jing Xiang's face. He felt the heat of Jing Xiang's skin beneath his palm, the rapid pulse at his jawline. He could see the internal struggle playing out in Jing Xiang's eyes, the mix of longing and fear that mirrored his own. He leaned in, his breath mingling with Jing Xiang's.
Their faces were so close now, separated only by a whisper of air. Ricky could see the rapid rise and fall of Jing Xiang's chest, the slight tremble of his lips. He knew that he was pushing him, that he was forcing him to confront his fears and insecurities. But he also knew that this was what they both needed, what they both wanted.
"Jing Xiang," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I know this is scary. I know that we have a past that's filled with hurt and pain. But I also know that there's something between us that's worth fighting for.
Something that's worth the risk of getting hurt again," Ricky continued, his thumb brushing away another tear that had escaped Jing Xiang's eye.
Jing Xiang's breath hitched, his eyes locked onto Ricky's. He could see the sincerity in his eyes, the raw vulnerability that made his heart ache with longing. He knew that Ricky was right, that there was something between them that was worth fighting for. But he was also terrified of getting hurt again, of putting his heart on the line only to have it shattered all over again.
He was stuck, frozen in place as Ricky's face inched closer, his breath fanning across Jing Xiang's lips.
"Ricky," Jing Xiang whispered, his voice barely audible. His heart pounded in his chest, his body trembling with a mix of fear, desire, and longing. He knew he shouldn't, that he couldn't afford to let Ricky in again. But his body betrayed him, leaning into the touch, aching for more.
Ricky hesitated, his hand still cupping Jing Xiang's face.
"What is it, Xiang?" he whispered, his voice laced with concern.
"I love you"
Jing Xiang blurted out, his voice shaking with emotion. He looked away, unable to meet Ricky's gaze, embarrassed by his sudden outburst. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to— "
Ricky's hand tightened on his cheek, gently turning his face back towards him. "Don't be sorry, Xiang. I've been waiting to hear those words for three years."
Jing Xiang's breath hitched, his eyes searching Ricky's face for any sign of insincerity.
He saw none. Instead, he saw the raw emotion in Ricky's eyes, the love that finally spilled over like a dam bursting.
Ricky smiled, a soft, tender curve of his lips. "I love you too, Xiang. I have loved you for longer than I can remember."
Tears welled up in Jing Xiang's eyes, spilling down his cheeks. He felt a sob tear through him, his body shaking with relief and emotion. Ricky's arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. Jing Xiang buried his face in Ricky's shoulder, letting the tears flow freely.
"Come on, let's continue this in another room," Ricky murmured, his hand pressing reassuringly against Jing Xiang's back. He guided Jing Xiang towards another building. There was an unmanned dorm that no trainees were using, but it was used for anyone to practice during midnight in case the main training area was closed.
They walked across the dark grounds of Boys Planet, the night air cool against their skin. The building loomed before them, a silent witness to the emotions that churned within.
Jing Xiang wiped away the remaining tears, his breath still hitching with the aftershocks of his confession. He looked up at Ricky, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "I can't believe I just said that. I've been holding it in for so long."
Ricky's hand brushed against Jing Xiang's cheek, his thumb wiping away a stray tear. "I know. I've been waiting for you to say it.
I've been waiting for us to be honest with each other," Ricky said, his voice soft yet firm. He pushed open the door, leading Jing Xiang inside. The room was dimly lit, the moonlight casting long shadows on the walls. It was quiet, a sanctuary away from the constant noise and chaos of the competition.
Jing Xiang followed Ricky in, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't believe he had just confessed his love to Ricky, after all this time. He had held it in for so long, afraid to let it out, afraid of the rejection that might follow.
But now, with Ricky's arms wrapped around him, his love confessed in return, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He felt free, and it was a heady sensation.
Ricky led him to the couch, gently pushing him down to sit. He sat down next to him, his hand still cupping Jing Xiang's face. Their eyes locked, the air between them charged with electricity.
"Jing Xiang," Ricky whispered, his voice barely audible. His thumb brushed away a lingering tear, his gaze never leaving Jing Xiang's.
"I'm so sorry for everything, Xiang. For hurting you, for pushing you away. I was so scared of losing you, of messing up what we had. I thought if I stayed away, it would be easier for both of us."
Jing Xiang's chest heaved with the weight of his emotions, his heart throbbing wildly in his chest. He could feel Ricky's breath on his face, the warmth of his hand on his cheek. He leaned into the touch, his eyes never leaving Ricky's. "I was scared too, Ricky. Scared that if I let you in, you'd leave again.
Scared that you'd see the real me and realize that I'm not good enough," Jing Xiang confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. He felt a shiver run through him as Ricky's thumb brushed against his lower lip, tracing the curve of it gently.
"You're more than good enough, Xiang. More than I ever deserved."
Jing Xiang's breath hitched, his eyes fluttering closed as Ricky's touch sent shivers down his spine. He felt Ricky's other hand reach up, threading through his hair, cupping the back of his head gently. He leaned into the touch, his body aching for more.
Ricky leaned in, his breath fanning across Jing Xiang's lips. "I want you to know that I'm here for you, Xiang hyung. All these years that we were missing together, I want to make it up to you right now. I want to make you feel good and all your desires be fulfilled." Ricky whispered, his lips brushing against Jing Xiang's. Jing Xiang's breath hitched, his eyelids fluttering open to meet Ricky's gaze. He could see the raw desire in Ricky's eyes, the promise of pleasure and release. It was a heady mix, one that sent a shiver of anticipation down his spine.
"But I'm afraid," Jing Xiang admitted, his voice barely a whisper. "Afraid of what comes next. Afraid of getting hurt again."
Ricky's hand tightened in Jing Xiang's hair, his grip firm yet gentle. He leaned again to kiss Jingxiang, but this time the kiss was deeper, more urgent. Their tongues clashed and tangled, a dance of reunion and longing. Jing Xiang moaned into the kiss, his body arching into Ricky's touch. He could feel Ricky's heart pounding against his own, could feel the heat of his body radiating through his clothes.
Ricky's other hand roamed over Jing Xiang's body, tracing the lines of his muscles, the curve of his back. He groaned, low and deep, as his fingers brushed against the hem of Jing Xiang's shirt.
He wanted to touch him, to feel him, to claim him. "Let me make you feel good, Xiang. Let me show you how much I love you."
Jing Xiang's breath hitched, his eyes never leaving Ricky's as he nodded. Ricky's hands moved with purpose, tugging Jing Xiang's shirt up and over his head. He threw it to the side, his gaze raking over Jing Xiang's body. "Fuck, you're perfect," he murmured, his voice rough with desire.
"Ricky, wait... Aren't we going too fast right now," Jing Xiang said, his voice breathless as Ricky's hands explored his body.
Ricky paused, his hands stilling on Jing Xiang's stomach. He looked up, his eyes meeting Jing Xiang's. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked, his voice barely above a growl.
Jing Xiang hesitated, his gaze flicking between Ricky's eyes and the hard line of his jaw. He could see the raw desire in Ricky's eyes, the barely leashed hunger that made his heart pound faster. He knew he should stop, that they were moving too fast, too soon.
But fuck, it had been three years of pent-up desire, three years of longing and wanting and needing. And now, here he was, with loved one in his arms, finally ready to give in to the feelings they'd both been denying for so long.
He couldn't stop, not now, not when Jing Xiang's eyes were dark with desire, his body arching into Ricky's touch. He wanted this, wanted them, and he was going to have them, damn it.
"No," Jing Xiang finally whispered, his voice hoarse with need.
"Don't stop. I don't want you to stop."