Cover of WHY DA FUCK ARE WE NAKED HERE.

WHY DA FUCK ARE WE NAKED HERE.

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Jenney was in a zombie outbreak, trapped in a strip club naked, Her fellow survivors were Jane, Lily, and Sarah were also with her, all also naked.

Chapter 3: The BMW Roars, The Dead Answer

The tires bit into the concrete ramp with a shriek that echoed off the walls like something dying. Jenney's hands were slick on the steering wheel—sweat, mostly, but also blood from somewhere she didn't remember cutting herself.

Behind them, the basement door didn't just splinter. It exploded.

The sound was wet and sharp and final, wood giving way to the sheer weight of bodies pressing through. Jenney caught a glimpse in the rearview mirror—the mirror she'd adjusted out of habit, like this was a normal drive to the grocery store—and immediately wished she hadn't.

They came down the stairs like a flood. Like a liquid thing, all grasping hands and snapping jaws and eyes that caught the fluorescent light and reflected nothing back. There were so many of them that they didn't move individually anymore. They moved as a mass, a single organism with a thousand hungry mouths.

"Drive," Jane said from the back seat. "Jenney, drive."

"I'm driving."

"Drive faster."

"I'm—" The BMW lurched as Jenney's foot found the gas pedal. The engine roared, a sound so powerful it vibrated through her chest and into her teeth. "I'm driving."

Destiny had the handgun pressed against the window, her knuckles white around the grip. She wasn't aiming at anything yet. Just holding it. Just reminding herself it was there.

The ramp curved upward, tight and claustrophobic, the concrete walls close enough to scrape paint if Jenney drifted even an inch. She didn't drift. She couldn't afford to. Her whole world had narrowed to the stretch of concrete ahead, to the dark rectangle at the top that promised sky and air and maybe, if they were lucky, survival.

"How many?" Lily's voice cracked on the second word. She was pressed against the back window, her naked body smeared with something dark that Jenney hoped was just dirt. "How many are behind us?"

"Don't look," Sarah said. It was the most she'd said since the dressing room. "Just don't look."

The first zombie reached the car.

Jenney felt it before she saw it—a jolt, a thump against the rear bumper that sent the whole vehicle shuddering. Then another. Then hands, dozens of them, slapping against the trunk, the rear window, the sides. The BMW rocked like a boat in a storm.

"Shoot them!" Jane screamed. "Destiny, shoot them!"

"I can't—they're too close—"

"Shoot through the fucking window!"

Destiny's face was a mask of panic, but her hands were steady. She rolled the window down—just an inch, just enough—and jammed the barrel through the gap. The gun went off with a crack that made Jenney's ears ring, and something behind them screamed.

Not a human scream. Something worse.

The grip on the car loosened. Jenney hit the gas harder, and the BMW surged forward, breaking free of the hands like a horse throwing a rider. The top of the ramp was right there—fifteen feet, ten, five—

They burst into the alley.

The night air hit Jenney's face like a slap—cold and sharp and alive. For a single, stupid second, she almost laughed. They'd made it. They'd actually made it.

Then she saw the truck.

It was a delivery truck, the kind that brought produce to restaurants or packages to apartment buildings. It had crashed sideways across the alley, its cab crumpled against one wall, its cargo box blocking the entire passage. Boxes of something—lettuce, maybe, or oranges—were scattered across the pavement like confetti at a parade that had gone very wrong.

And in front of the truck, drawn by the roar of the engine and the crack of the gun, were zombies.

Not as many as in the basement. Not yet. But enough. A pack of them, maybe twelve or fifteen, their heads swiveling toward the car like flowers toward the sun. They'd been feeding on something—there was blood on their mouths, blood on their hands, and a shape on the ground behind them that Jenney's brain refused to process.

"Dead end," Destiny whispered. "It's a dead end."

Jenney's hands tightened on the wheel. The alley was narrow—too narrow to turn around, too narrow to back up without hitting the horde behind them. The truck blocked the way forward. The warehouse walls rose on either side, sheer and windowless and unscalable.

They were trapped.

"Reverse," Jane said. "Jenney, put it in reverse—"

"There's nowhere to go. The basement is full of them now."

"Then what the fuck do we do?"

Jenney looked at the truck. At the zombies. At the narrow gap between the truck's rear bumper and the wall—a space maybe three feet wide, choked with trash and debris and something that might have been a body.

She looked at the BMW. At the sleek, low profile of it. At the way its designers had probably never imagined it would need to fit through a space that small.

"Everyone hold on," she said.

"Hold on to what?" Lily demanded. "There's nothing to hold on to—"

Jenney floored it.

The BMW shot forward like a bullet, the electric motor whining beneath the roar of the engine. The zombies turned toward the sound, their mouths opening, their hands reaching. Jenney aimed for the gap, for the sliver of space between the truck and the wall.

She missed.

The BMW's front fender caught the truck's rear bumper with a screech of metal on metal. The car spun, tires screaming, and for a heartbeat they were sideways, exposed, the zombies right there—so close Jenney could see the individual teeth in their gaping mouths, the ragged holes where ears used to be.

Then the car straightened. Somehow. By luck or physics or sheer blind terror, it straightened, and they were through.

The alley opened up beyond the truck. A street. A real street, with sidewalks and streetlamps and parked cars that hadn't been moved in days. The zombies behind them were already fading into the distance, their arms still outstretched, their screams fading into the general moan of the city.

Jenney drove.

She didn't know where. She didn't care. She just drove, her foot pressed to the floor, her eyes fixed on the road ahead. Buildings flashed past. Bodies flashed past. A dog—a living dog, a miracle—darted across the street and disappeared into an alley.

No one spoke.

The BMW's interior was filled with the sound of their breathing—ragged and fast and slowly, gradually, beginning to slow. The smell was terrible. Sweat and fear and the metallic tang of blood. Jenney's hands were shaking so badly she could barely keep them on the wheel.

After what felt like hours—but was probably only minutes—she pulled over. Not because it was safe. Nowhere was safe. Just because she couldn't drive anymore. Her body had reached its limit, and her body was making decisions now.

The car stopped. The engine ticked as it cooled. Outside, the city was dark and quiet and full of things that wanted them dead.

"Holy shit," Jane said.

"Yeah."

"Holy fucking shit."

"Yeah."

Lily started laughing. It wasn't a happy laugh. It was the kind of laugh that came from somewhere deep and broken, the kind that had nowhere else to go. Sarah joined her. Then Jane. Then, impossibly, Jenney.

They laughed until they cried. Until the laughter turned into sobs and the sobs turned into silence and the silence turned into something that felt almost like peace.

Destiny was the first to speak.

"Where are we?"

Jenney looked out the window. A street sign, half-hidden by a fallen tree branch, read ROSEWOOD LANE. She had no idea where that was. No idea what part of the city they'd ended up in. No idea what came next.

"Doesn't matter," she said. "We're alive."

"For now," Sarah said.

"For now."

The silence returned. It was different this time—less panicked, more thoughtful. The silence of people who had survived something impossible and were still trying to figure out what that meant.

"We need clothes," Jane said finally. "And water. And food."

"There's a strip mall two blocks back," Destiny said. "I saw it when we drove past. There might be—"

"You want to go back?" Lily's voice pitched high. "After everything—"

"I want to not be naked when the next zombie tries to eat me. It's harder to run when your tits are bouncing."

That got a laugh—short and surprised and genuine. The first real one since this nightmare began.

"Okay," Jenney said. "Okay. We go to the strip mall. We find clothes. We find supplies. Then we find somewhere safe to hole up for the night."

"And then?"

Jenney looked at Destiny. At the gun still clutched in her hand. At the determined set of her jaw.

"Then we figure out what the hell we're supposed to do next."

She started the engine. The BMW hummed to life, ready for whatever came next.

Behind them, the city moaned.

The engine's hum filled the space between them, a low electric purr that felt almost obscene against the distant chorus of moans filtering through the BMW's insulated doors. Jenney's knuckles had gone the color of old bone on the steering wheel. The blood she'd noticed earlier had dried now, flaking at the edges of her fingers like rust.

"Rosewood Lane," Jane read from the sign, her voice flat. "Never heard of it."

"Me neither." Jenney eased the car forward, tires crunching over broken glass that glittered in the headlights like scattered diamonds. "But we passed a strip mall. Destiny, which way?"

Destiny pointed left, her hand still wrapped around the gun. The gesture was casual, almost bored, but her eyes never stopped moving—scanning the shadows between parked cars, the dark mouths of alleyways, the second-story windows where curtains twitched with wind or something worse.

"Two blocks," she said. "Maybe three. I wasn't exactly taking notes."

"You were the one who saw it."

"I was the one who was looking for an escape route. Sue me."

The banter was thin, almost translucent—a paper shield against the weight of what they'd just survived. Jenney took the left, guiding the car through streets that had become graveyards. A bicycle lay on its side in the middle of the road, its wheels still spinning lazily in the breeze. A child's stuffed bear sat propped against a fire hydrant, its button eyes catching the headlights and glowing for a moment before they passed.

Lily pressed her face against the window, her breath fogging the glass. "Where is everyone?"

"Dead. Or hiding. Or both."

"That's comforting, Sarah."

"I'm not trying to be comforting. I'm trying to be honest."

Jenney tuned them out, focusing on the road. The strip mall appeared ahead like a mirage—a long, low building with a parking lot that stretched empty and pale under the moonlight. The sign out front was dark, its letters unlit, but she could make out the shapes: a grocery store, a nail salon, a payday loan place, something that might have been a gym.

And at the far end, a gun store.

"Jackpot," Destiny whispered.

Jenney pulled into the parking lot, killing the engine. The silence that followed was immediate and complete, broken only by the tick of cooling metal and the distant, ever-present moan of the city. They sat there for a moment, none of them moving, none of them wanting to be the first to step out into the dark.

"So," Jane said. "We're doing this."

"We're doing this."

"And we're still naked."

"Unless you saw a clothing store on the way in, yeah. We're still naked."

"Great." Jane opened her door. The dome light clicked on, bathing them all in weak yellow glow. "Just great."

They spilled out of the car like survivors of a shipwreck, huddled and wary and painfully exposed. The night air was cold on Jenney's skin, raising goosebumps along her arms and legs. She hadn't thought about the cold until now—hadn't had time to think about anything except running and driving and not dying.

The parking lot asphalt was rough under her bare feet, scattered with gravel and broken glass and something squishy she didn't look at too closely. The others followed her lead, their footsteps a soft percussion against the silence. Sarah had her arms wrapped around her chest. Lily was trying to cover herself with her hands, a gesture that was both futile and somehow heartbreaking.

"Stay close," Jenney said. "Stay quiet. If you see something, don't scream—just point."

"And if it sees us first?"

"Then we run."

The grocery store was the closest entrance, its automatic doors frozen half-open like a mouth caught mid-sentence. Jenney approached slowly, her heart hammering against her ribs. The store's interior was dark, lit only by the emergency lights that cast everything in a sickly red glow.

She stepped through the doors.

The smell hit her first—rotting produce and sour milk and something else, something meaty and wrong. The shelves were mostly bare, picked clean by looters or survivors or people who had been just as scared as they were. A few cans of beans sat scattered on the floor. A bag of rice had burst open, its contents spreading across the linoleum like a small, sad snowdrift.

"No clothes," Lily said, her voice small.

"Food, though." Jane was already moving toward the back, her bare feet slapping against the tile. "Cans. Bottles. Stuff that doesn't spoil."

"Jane, wait—"

But she was gone, disappearing into the aisles with a recklessness that made Jenney's stomach clench. Destiny followed, her gun raised, her movements precise and military. Sarah stayed close to Jenney, her hand brushing against Jenney's arm—a small, desperate contact that said more than words could.

They found Jane in the canned goods aisle, her arms already full of soup and vegetables and something that might have been chili. She was grinning, actually grinning, like this was a normal shopping trip and not a desperate scavenging run through a dead world.

"Look at this," she said. "Somebody left the good stuff. There's peaches. Actual peaches."

"Jane, we need to—"

"Peaches, Jenney. Do you know how long it's been since I had peaches?"

"Probably yesterday."

"Exactly. That's too long."

Jenney wanted to argue. Wanted to point out that they were naked and unarmed and standing in a dark grocery store that could be full of zombies. But Jane's grin was so genuine, so absurdly happy, that she couldn't bring herself to crush it.

"Fine," she said. "Grab the peaches. But we need to find clothes, and we need to find them fast."

The gun store was at the end of the strip mall, past a nail salon with shattered windows and a gym that smelled like sweat and death. Its sign was still intact—ROSEWOOD ARMS AND AMMUNITION, in bold red letters—and its door was still locked.

Destiny pressed her face against the glass. "I can see rifles. Handguns. Ammo boxes."

"Can you see a way in?"

"Give me a second."

She stepped back, raised her leg, and kicked. The glass shuddered but didn't break. She kicked again, harder, and this time it cracked—a spiderweb pattern that spread from the point of impact like frost on a window.

"Help me."

Jenney joined her, and together they kicked until the glass gave way, shattering inward with a sound like a thousand dropped plates. The alarm system, if there had been one, was silent—the power must have gone out days ago. They climbed through the gap, careful of the jagged edges, and landed in a world of metal and oil and potential.

The gun store was small but well-stocked. Racks of rifles lined the walls, their barrels pointed toward the ceiling like steel fingers reaching for salvation. Glass cases held handguns in neat rows, their grips gleaming under the emergency lights. Boxes of ammunition were stacked in the corner, enough to fight a small war.

"Holy shit," Lily breathed.

"Yeah."

Destiny was already at the counter, her hands moving with practiced efficiency. She pulled a shotgun from the rack, checked the chamber, loaded it with shells from a box she'd found behind the register. The movements were smooth, automatic—the movements of someone who had done this before.

"You've handled guns before," Jenney said.

"My dad was a cop. He took me shooting every summer." Destiny racked the shotgun, the sound sharp and final. "I hated it. Thought it was boring. Guess I was wrong."

Sarah was at the handgun case, her fingers pressed against the glass. "Can I—"

"Can you shoot?"

"I don't know."

"Then stick with me. I'll teach you."

They armed themselves quickly, efficiently. Jenney took a Glock, its weight unfamiliar but not unwelcome in her hands. Jane grabbed a revolver, spinning the cylinder with a grin that was almost manic. Lily chose a small pistol, her hands shaking as she loaded it.

"This feels insane," she said. "This feels like a video game."

"It's not a video game."

"I know. That's why it feels insane."

They found a backpack behind the counter, dusty but intact, and filled it with ammunition and a few spare handguns. Destiny slung the shotgun over her shoulder like she'd been born with it there.

"We should go," Jenney said. "We've been here too long."

"Wait." Sarah was standing at the back of the store, staring at something on the wall. "There's a door."

Jenney crossed to her. The door was metal, reinforced, with a small window at eye level. Through the window, she could see a staircase leading down into darkness.

"Basement," she said. "Probably storage."

"Or something else."

"Only one way to find out."

She tried the handle. It was unlocked.

The stairs creaked under their weight, each step a small betrayal. The basement was cold and damp, the air thick with the smell of concrete and old cardboard. Boxes were stacked against the walls—more ammunition, more guns, supplies that would keep them armed for months.

And at the back, behind a plastic curtain, was something else entirely.

Jenney pulled the curtain aside and froze.

Vending machines. Rows of them, humming with power from some hidden generator. Their glass fronts glowed with the promise of soda and chips and candy—food that didn't come from a can, food that hadn't been looted because no one had known it was here.

"Oh my god," Jane whispered. "Is that a Twinkie?"

"I think it's a Twinkie."

"I'm going to cry. I'm actually going to cry."

Jenney left them to raid the machines. She walked the perimeter of the basement, checking for other exits, other threats. There was a door at the far end, marked with a faded sign that read DELIVERIES. She tried it. It opened onto a loading dock, empty and quiet under the stars.

They had a way out. They had food. They had weapons.

They still didn't have clothes.

Jenney looked down at herself—at the dried blood and the goosebumps and the way her body was just... there, exposed and vulnerable and hers. She thought about the shower, about the hands that had reached through the curtain, about the fall and the pool and the running.

She thought about how many times she should have died tonight.

"Jenney?"

She turned. Sarah was standing in the doorway, a candy bar in each hand, her expression uncertain.

"We found some shirts," Sarah said. "In a box. They say 'Rosewood Arms' on them, but—"

"They'll do."

They dressed in the dark, pulling the oversized t-shirts over their heads like armor. They weren't clothes, not really—just fabric, just cover. But they were something. They were a start.

"This is the worst outfit I've ever worn," Lily announced, tugging at the hem of her shirt. "And I once wore a garbage bag to a Halloween party."

"At least you're not naked."

"Barely."

"Barely counts."

They gathered their supplies, their weapons, their meager scraps of dignity. The loading dock led to a back alley that was mercifully empty. The BMW was still there, waiting for them, its sleek lines incongruous against the decay.

"Where now?" Jane asked.

Jenney looked at the sky. The moon was high, pale, indifferent. The city stretched out around them, dark and dead and full of monsters.

"I don't know," she said. "Somewhere with walls. Somewhere we can sleep."

"There's a motel about a mile back," Destiny said. "Saw it on the way in. Looked mostly intact."

"Then that's where we go."

They climbed into the car, the doors closing with soft thuds that felt like punctuation. Jenney started the engine. The dashboard glowed. The road stretched ahead.

Behind them, the city moaned.

This time, Jenney didn't look back.

The motel was called the Starlight Inn, its sign a faded relic of a better time. Only three cars sat in the parking lot—all empty, all abandoned. The front office was dark, its door hanging open on broken hinges.

Jenney pulled up to the far end, positioning the BMW for a quick exit. They sat in silence for a moment, none of them wanting to be the first to move.

"Rooms are probably gross," Jane said.

"Probably."

"Probably have bedbugs."

"Probably."

"Don't care."

"Me neither."

They moved like a unit, like they'd been doing this forever. Destiny took point with the shotgun. Jenney flanked left with her Glock. The others followed, their weapons raised, their eyes scanning.

The first room was empty. The second was empty. The third was empty.

The fourth had a body.

It was a man, middle-aged, dressed in what had once been a suit. He was sitting against the wall, his legs splayed out in front of him, his head lolled to one side. There was a gun in his hand and a hole in his head and a note pinned to his chest.

Jenney read the note. Then she read it again. Then she folded it carefully and tucked it into her pocket.

"What does it say?" Lily asked.

"Nothing," Jenney lied. "Just crazy stuff."

They chose the fifth room. It had two beds and a couch and a door that locked. The bathroom was clean enough. The windows were small and high and covered with curtains.

It would do.

Jane fell asleep first, curling up on the couch with her revolver clutched to her chest. Lily took the floor, her back against the door. Sarah shared the bed with Jenney, her body warm and small and trembling even in sleep.

Destiny sat by the window, the shotgun across her knees, watching the world outside.

Jenney lay awake for a long time, staring at the ceiling. She thought about the man in room four. She thought about his note. She thought about the words she hadn't read aloud.

I can't do this anymore. But you can. Keep going.

She closed her eyes.

When she woke, it was morning. The sun was streaming through the curtains. The motel room was warm. Somewhere outside, a bird was singing.

She almost believed they were going to be okay.

Then she heard the scream.

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