A Knot of His Own

Chapter 13: The Doctor's Verdict

The word hung in the air like a verdict. Breech. Large. Julian's jaw tightened until the muscles in his neck stood out, his fingers digging into Theo's hand hard enough to bruise. He had planned for this. He had scheduled the home birth, interviewed the midwife, mapped out every corner of the nursery in his head. He had never once planned for the universe to decline his request.

"I can still turn him," Julian said, his voice clipped, almost dismissive, as if the doctor had suggested a minor scheduling conflict rather than a fundamental flaw in his pup's positioning. "Tell me exactly what exercises. I'll double them."

The doctor, an omega woman with silver-streaked hair and patient eyes, didn't flinch at his tone. She had seen Julian's type before. She flipped a page in her tablet and spoke with gentle, measured precision. "The exercises are important, Julian, but they're not guaranteed. I want you to be prepared for the possibility that he stays breech. Our other option, closer to term, would be an external cephalic version. That procedure carries its own risks, which is why I also want you both in birthing classes immediately. We'll cover positions, emergency scenarios, and decision-making under pressure. I can have a recommendation sent to your phone by tonight."

The word emergency landed like a slap. Julian's carefully constructed composure cracked, just barely, a fissure running through the marble. He stared at the ultrasound image in his lap, the grainy shape of their pup curled stubbornly upside down, and felt something cold creep into his chest. He had spent his entire life bending reality to his will. His boardroom. His firm. His schedule. His body had never once defied him, not like this.

Theo's thumb traced a slow circle over Julian's knuckles, warm and steady. "We'll do the exercises together," he said, his voice soft but certain. "Every single one. And I'll be right beside you in those classes, taking notes like your best intern."

Julian let out a sharp, bitter laugh despite himself. "You'd know all about taking notes."

"I'd know all about following your orders," Theo corrected, and there was a gentle, teasing warmth in his hazel eyes that made the knot in Julian's chest loosen, just a fraction. "So tell me what the next order is, boss."

The doctor smiled, gathering the ultrasound probe. "That's the right attitude. You'll receive a chart with the exercises, and I'll send over a list of recommended classes. Start tonight if you can. The earlier we begin, the better our chances of a smooth home birth."

Julian's free hand drifted to the swell of his belly, pressing flat against the warm curve. The pup shifted, a slow, lazy roll that felt almost like a reply. He swallowed hard, his throat clicking.

"We start tonight. Before bed." He looked at Theo, and there was no question in his amber eyes, only demand dressed in the familiar armor of control. "I expect you home by seven. I'll have dinner ready, and then you're going to get on your knees and help me stretch until every single one of those exercises is perfect."

Theo's smile was soft, adoring, utterly unbothered by the command. "Yes, sir."

And for the first time since the doctor had spoken the word breech, Julian allowed himself to breathe.

The drive home was quiet, but not tense. Julian kept one hand on his belly, his fingers tracing idle patterns over the fabric of his shirt, while the other rested loose in Theo's grip on the center console. The ultrasound image sat in his lap like a challenge he intended to win.

The penthouse smelled of garlic and rosemary when they walked in. Theo had started the slow-roasted lamb before they left, and the scent wrapped around them like a welcome. Julian dropped his keys into the bowl by the door and made straight for the bedroom, not bothering to change out of his suit before he pulled up the doctor's chart on his phone.

"Twenty minutes of pelvic tilts," he announced, reading aloud. "Then the forward lean. Then the knee-to-chest." He glanced up. "You're going to be my timer."

Theo appeared in the doorway, already shrugging off his jacket. "Whatever you need."

Julian's eyes narrowed. "I need you to take this seriously. This isn't a game."

"I know." Theo crossed to him, warm hands settling on Julian's shoulders. "I'm taking it very seriously. I'm also taking notes." He pulled out his phone and waggled it. "Best intern, remember?"

Julian snorted, but some of the tension bled out of his shoulders. He toed off his shoes, then stripped out of his suit with sharp, efficient movements, leaving himself in nothing but his undershirt and briefs. His belly rounded out in front of him, heavy and full, and he caught Theo's reflection in the mirror: those hazel eyes gone soft, that mouth slightly parted, as if Julian's body was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Stop staring," Julian said, but there was no heat in it.

"Can't help it."

Julian rolled his eyes and dropped onto the yoga mat he'd had Theo lay out, positioning himself on all fours with his hips tilted. "Position one. Pelvic tilt." He demonstrated, arching and rounding his back in a fluid motion. "You're going to hold my hips. Steady me. And if I wobble, you're going to tell me, not grab me like I'm about to fall."

Theo knelt behind him, palms settling on the curve of Julian's hips with careful reverence. "Like this?"

"Lower. You're not cradling a bomb." Julian adjusted Theo's hands, pressing them firmer, sliding them down just slightly. "There. Now hold."

The stretch was awkward, a deep pull through his lower back, and Julian could feel the pup shifting inside him, resettling against the new pressure. He held the position for thirty seconds, then relaxed, blowing out a breath.

"Good. Next." He pushed himself up, turning to face Theo. "The forward lean needs a chair. But actually —" His eyes gleamed, calculating. "You're going to be the chair."

Theo blinked. "I'm what?"

"You're going to sit against the headboard, legs spread. I'm going to sit between them and lean forward over your thighs. That gives me the angle." Julian's voice was pure command, brooking no argument. "Your chest is my backrest. Your hands stay on my belly, and you tell me if you feel him shift. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Theo scrambled to position himself, propped against the headboard with his legs extended and slightly apart. Julian settled between them with surprising grace, his broad back fitting against Theo's chest, and leaned forward over Theo's thighs, letting his belly press into the firm muscle of Theo's legs. The angle was deep, a delicious, stretching pull.

"Your hands," Julian reminded.

Theo's palms slid around to cup the heavy swell, warm and steady. "I've got you."

Julian closed his eyes, breathing through the stretch. "Don't you dare let go."

"Don't you dare let go."

Theo didn't. His palms stayed cupped around the heavy swell, fingers spread wide, feeling every shifting movement of the pup beneath the taut skin. Julian breathed through the stretch, counting in his head, and when thirty seconds passed, he pushed back against Theo's chest.

"That's enough. Switch." He twisted, looking over his shoulder. "Knee to chest. I need you on your back."

Theo extricated himself from behind Julian and flopped onto the mattress, looking up with that same eager, expectant expression. "Like this?"

"Flat. Legs together." Julian crawled over him, positioning himself with deliberate care, then lowered his weight until his belly rested against Theo's thighs. He arranged his arms, palms flat on the mattress on either side of Theo's hips, and lifted one knee toward his chest, using the angle to press against the pup's stubborn position. "This one's harder. The doctor said it uses gravity to encourage him to flip." He let out a sharp breath as the stretch deepened. "I can feel him. He's moving."

Theo's hands came up immediately, pressing against the curve of Julian's sides, steadying him. "Is it working?"

"I don't know yet." Julian's jaw was set, his brow furrowed in concentration. "Hold my leg. No, higher. There." He adjusted Theo's grip, guiding his hand to the underside of his thigh. "If he moves, I need to know. Every shift, every flutter, you tell me."

"Yes, sir."

Julian held the position, muscles trembling with effort, his cock brushing against Theo's stomach with each subtle adjustment. He was hyperaware of everything: the warm, calloused hands supporting him, the steady rhythm of Theo's breath, the faint scent of rosemary still clinging to his alpha's skin. And beneath it all, the pup, that stubborn little creature who had apparently inherited his father's refusal to follow directions.

"Kicked," Theo said softly. "Right side. I felt it."

Julian's eyes opened, sharp and bright. "Where? Show me."

Theo's hand moved, pressing lower on the swell. "Here. He's still head-up, I think. That felt like his foot."

"Good." Julian adjusted his position, angling his hips slightly differently. "That's what we want. Keep talking. Keep feeling. I need data, not silence."

Theo's other hand slid around to the small of Julian's back, thumb pressing into the knot of muscle there. "You're doing so well, Julian. You're so strong. He's going to turn, and you're going to have that home birth exactly the way you want it."

Julian laughed, breathless and a little wild. "Careful. You'll make me believe you."

"I do believe you." Theo's voice was soft, certain. "You've never failed at anything you've set your mind to. And you want this. I can feel it in the way you hold yourself, like you're already winning."

The stretch burned, but Julian held it another ten seconds, then twenty, until his muscles screamed and his breath came in short, sharp gasps. He finally released the position, collapsing forward against Theo's chest, sweaty and trembling and secretly, fiercely pleased.

"Thirty seconds more than the chart called for," he murmured into the curve of Theo's neck. "I'm ahead of schedule."

Theo's arms wrapped around him, warm and steady. "I never doubted it."

Julian pressed a kiss to Theo's throat, quick and possessive, then pushed himself up. "Shower. Then dinner, and then we do it again before bed. I want twice daily until the next appointment."

"Yes, sir."

As Julian slid off the bed, he paused, hand resting on his belly. The pup shifted, a lazy roll that felt almost like approval. Julian allowed himself a small, private smile, and headed for the bathroom, leaving Theo to collect himself and follow.

Theo collected himself, but he didn't follow. Not yet.

He stayed on the bed, the ghost of Julian's weight still warm against his chest, and pulled out his phone. The doctor's chart was still open, but he swiped past it, typing into the search bar with the focused intensity of a man preparing for battle. He had promised to be the best intern. Interns did research. Interns found solutions.

Ten minutes later, Julian emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, a towel wrapped around his hips, his hair still damp and curling against his temples. He stopped in the bedroom doorway, arching an eyebrow at the sight of Theo sprawled across the mattress, phone held aloft like a trophy.

"You look like you've discovered the cure for cancer," Julian said dryly. "What is it?"

Theo sat up, his hazel eyes bright with barely contained excitement. "I found something. There's a position the chart doesn't mention. It's called the forward leaning inversion. You kneel on the edge of a couch or bed, then lower your upper body down so your forearms rest on the floor. Your hips stay elevated. Gravity does the rest. It's supposed to be one of the most effective methods for encouraging a breech baby to turn."

Julian's expression flickered, a mix of skepticism and reluctant interest. "And where exactly did you learn this? A Reddit thread?"

"An obstetrics journal," Theo said, with just a hint of pride. "Peer-reviewed. The study showed a significant success rate when combined with the exercises you're already doing." He held up his phone, the screen displaying a diagram of a woman in exactly the position he'd described. "I also found one called the side-lying release. You lie on your side with your top leg bent and draped over a stack of pillows, then rotate your upper body toward the floor. It's meant to relax the pelvic muscles and give the baby room to turn."

Julian crossed the room slowly, towel slipping precariously low on his hips. He took the phone from Theo's hand, studying the diagram with the same sharp focus he'd give a blueprint. His thumb traced the illustration, his brow furrowed.

"These aren't in the doctor's chart."

"She said the chart was a starting point," Theo said. "And you're ahead of schedule. I figured we could be ahead of the research too."

Julian looked up, and for a moment, something soft flickered in his amber eyes. It was gone before Theo could name it, replaced by the familiar armor of command.

"Show me," Julian said, tossing the phone back onto the bed. "We'll add both to the routine. The pelvic tilts, the forward lean, the knee to chest, and now these two. Twice daily." He paused, his lips curving into a sharp, calculating smile. "And since you found them, you get to be my equipment again."

Theo's heart stuttered. "Yes, sir."

Julian dropped the towel.

Theo's hands were on him before the towel hit the floor, not grabby or desperate, but careful, deliberate. He guided Julian to the edge of the bed, one hand splayed across the small of his back, the other cupping the heavy weight of his belly.

"Kneel here," Theo murmured, nudging Julian's shins against the mattress edge. "Forearms on the floor. Let your head hang loose. I'll be right behind you the whole time."

Julian shot him a look over his shoulder, sharp and assessing, but he complied. He knelt, then folded forward, his forearms taking his weight on the plush carpet, his hips staying high and open. The position was humiliating and vulnerable and exactly what his stubborn pup needed. He could feel the pull through his lower back, the shift of gravity dragging at the weight in his belly.

Theo's hands settled on his hips, firm, grounding. "Breathe," he said softly. "Slow and deep. I've got you."

Julian breathed. The stretch was deep, almost uncomfortable, but Theo's presence anchored him. He could feel the pup moving, a slow, cautious roll, as if testing the new angle.

"Tell me if it's too much," Theo said. "We stop the second you need to."

"We don't stop." Julian's voice was muffled against his forearms, but sharp as ever. "I'm fine. Keep talking. What's the other one? The side-lying release?"

Theo's thumbs pressed into the dimples of Julian's lower back, working slow circles into the strain. "We'll do that one after. You'll lie on your side, I'll stack the pillows, and you'll rotate slow. I'll guide you through it."

"Good." Julian's breath hitched as the pup delivered a firm kick to his ribs. He laughed, breathless, into the carpet. "He's already fighting me. He's going to be a nightmare."

"He's going to be perfect," Theo corrected, and there was so much warmth in his voice that Julian felt it in his chest, a sweet ache beneath the strain. "Just like his father."

Julian held the position, his breath sawing in and out, sweat beading along his spine. The pull through his lower back was deep, almost unbearable, but he gritted his teeth and stayed. He could feel the pup shifting, rolling, testing the new angle, and for one triumphant moment, he thought it was working.

Then his body betrayed him.

A cramp seized him low in his belly, sharp and sudden, radiating through his hips like a warning. Julian gasped, his arms buckling, his forehead pressing hard into the carpet as a wave of heat flooded through him. It wasn't arousal. It was something else, something primal and out of his control. His muscles clenched, a deep, rhythmic tightening that stole his breath and turned his bones to water.

"Julian?" Theo's hands were on him instantly, sliding around his torso, lifting him with impossible gentleness. "Julian, talk to me."

"I'm fine," Julian snapped, but the words came out thin, reedy, betraying him as thoroughly as his body had. He tried to push himself up, but his arms shook and gave out, and he collapsed against Theo's chest with a sound that was almost a sob. "It's fine. It's just a contraction. Braxton Hicks. It's normal."

Theo's jaw tightened, but his voice was steady. "You're breathing too fast. Slow down with me." He shifted, pulling Julian fully into his lap, wrapping both arms around him. "In through your nose. Hold it. Out through your mouth. Come on, do it with me."

Julian wanted to snap at him, wanted to tell him he didn't need to be coddled, but the cramp was still rolling through him, and his body was no longer taking orders. He closed his eyes and followed Theo's rhythm. In. Hold. Out. In. Hold. Out.

The contraction eased, slow and reluctant, leaving a dull ache in its wake. Julian sagged against Theo, his forehead pressed to his alpha's shoulder, mortified and trembling and furious at himself for trembling.

"That was a strong one," Theo murmured, one hand stroking down Julian's back. "Do you want me to call the doctor?"

"No." Julian's voice was sharp, but he didn't lift his head. "It's normal. They're supposed to happen. My body is just... rehearsing." He let out a bitter laugh. "Apparently it's an overachiever too."

Theo's arms tightened around him, warm and protective. "You're okay. You're both okay."

Julian swallowed hard. His hand drifted to his belly, where the pup had gone still, as if waiting. The cramp had scared him. He wouldn't admit it, but it had. For one terrible moment, his body had felt like a stranger, a vessel with its own agenda, and he had been powerless.

"I'm not okay," he whispered, and it cost him more than any boardroom concession ever had. "I'm scared, Theo. What if he doesn't turn? What if I can't have the birth I planned? What if my body keeps doing this and I can't stop it?"

Theo cupped his face, tilting his head up so their eyes met. "Then we adapt. We do what the doctor says. We take the classes, we do every exercise, and if he still doesn't turn, we make the best decision for you and him. But I'm not going anywhere, and neither is he." He pressed a kiss to Julian's forehead, soft and lingering. "You're not alone in this. You never have been."

Julian's throat worked. He wanted to argue, to deflect with a sharp retort, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, he nodded, a small, jerky movement, and let Theo hold him.

"Can you stand?" Theo asked gently.

Julian considered it. His legs were still shaky, but the cramp had passed. He took a slow breath, then another, and nodded more firmly. "Yes. I'm fine."

Theo helped him up carefully, keeping a steadying hand on his back. Julian swayed once, then steadied himself. He looked down at his belly, at the stubborn curve of it, and felt the pup shift again, a gentle push against his palm.

"Alright, little tyrant," Julian murmured. "We're going to do this your way. But I'm still in charge."

The pup kicked. Not the lazy roll from before, not the tentative testing of a new angle. This was firm, deliberate, a small foot pressing squarely against Julian's palm as if to say, I heard you. I'm here.

Julian's breath caught. He pressed his hand harder against the spot, feeling the outline of that tiny foot through his skin, impossibly real. "He said okay," Julian whispered, and there was something raw in his voice, something he couldn't armor over. "He actually said okay."

Theo moved closer, his hand sliding over Julian's, pressing down until they were both feeling it. The pup kicked again, softer this time, a gentle nudge against both their palms. Theo let out a shaky laugh, his eyes bright with wonder.

"See?" Theo murmured. "He knows you're in charge. He's just testing the boundaries first."

Julian snorted, but his hand stayed pressed to his belly, feeling the warmth of Theo's fingers tangled with his. "He's going to be trouble. I can already tell."

"He's going to be exactly like you," Theo said, and there was so much love in his voice that Julian had to look away.

The moment stretched, fragile and golden. Julian stood there with his alpha's hand over his, the pup still shifting beneath their palms, and for the first time since the doctor had spoken the word breech, he felt something other than fear. He felt like they might actually be okay.

"Shower," he said finally, his voice gruff. "Then dinner. And then we do the side-lying release before bed."

"Yes, sir," Theo said softly, but he didn't move. He pressed a kiss to Julian's temple instead, lingering there for a breath.

Julian let him. For once, he didn't pull away.

The bathroom was warm and steam-heavy by the time Julian's towel came off. He hung it over the rack with a precise, almost aggressive fold, as if the simple act could stitch him back together. But his hands were still trembling, and Theo noticed.

"Let me help you," Theo said softly, not a question. He stepped up behind Julian, close enough that his breath ghosted across the back of Julian's neck. His hands came around Julian's waist, hesitant at first, then firm.

"I'm not an invalid," Julian said, but his voice had lost its edge. It came out muffled, almost soft.

"I know." Theo pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck, just below the hairline. "But I want to help anyway."

The glass door of the shower slid open. Steam billowed out, fragrant with the cedar and bergamot soap Julian favored. Theo guided him under the spray, hands never leaving his skin. Water sluiced over Julian's shoulders, down the heavy curve of his belly, and Theo watched it trace every new line of him with something close to reverence.

Then Theo moved closer, chest pressing against Julian's back, and slid his hands down Julian's sides until they cradled the underside of his belly. He lifted gently, taking the weight of it, easing the strain from Julian's lower back.

Julian's breath caught. His head fell back against Theo's shoulder, a sound escaping him that was almost a whimper. The relief was immediate, a deep, sweet unknotting of muscles he hadn't even realized were clenched. For a second, he just stood there, letting himself be held together.

"Oh," he breathed, the word barely audible over the rush of water. "Oh, that's..."

"Good?" Theo's voice was low, warm against his ear.

Julian nodded, eyes closed. He softened, truly softened, for the first time in hours. The tension in his shoulders bled away. His hands came up to rest over Theo's, pressing them more firmly against the swell.

"Don't stop," he whispered. It wasn't a demand, but it was close. The closest he could get to asking for what he needed.

Theo tightened his hold, thumbs stroking slow circles over the taut skin. The pup shifted inside, a lazy roll against Theo's palms, and Theo let out a quiet, wondering laugh. "He likes this too."

"Of course he does. He's already manipulating the situation." But Julian's voice was thick, and he made no move to pull away. "He gets that from you."

"From me?" Theo chuckled. "I thought he got the bossy from you."

"He got the emotional manipulation from you. The bossy is all mine."

Theo nuzzled into the curve of Julian's neck, pressing a kiss to the damp skin there. "Whatever you say, sir."

Julian turned in his arms, slow and careful, his belly pressing between them. He looked up at Theo, water streaming down both their faces, droplets clinging to his lashes. His amber eyes were softer than Theo had ever seen them.

"Thank you," Julian said quietly. Not for the shower, not for the help. For everything.

Theo kissed him. Gentle and deep, one hand sliding up to cup Julian's jaw while the other still supported the weight of their pup. Julian melted into it, into him, his hands fisting in the wet fabric of Theo's shirt.

It was a long moment before they broke apart. Julian was breathing hard, but the fear was gone from his eyes. What remained was something rawer. Something that looked almost like trust.

"You're still wearing your clothes," Julian observed, a hint of his usual sharpness returning.

"I noticed."

Julian arched an eyebrow. "Are you planning to fix that, or am I going to have to give you an order?"

Theo grinned, water dripping from his curls, and started unbuttoning his shirt. "I was waiting for permission."

"Never wait for permission again." Julian's hand found his, guiding it back to his belly. "You're always allowed to touch me. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

The shower went on longer than necessary. The water ran cool before they finally stepped out, and Julian's skin was pink and pruney, but the tightness in his chest had loosened. He let Theo wrap him in a towel, let Theo press another kiss to his shoulder, let himself be loved.