Chapter 5: Debate
The sun had barely begun to peer over the horizon as Sebastian trudged up the worn path leading to Scott's front door. The air was crisp, the dew still clinging to the grass, and the world was quiet, blanketed in the soft, tranquil glow of early morning. His heart pounded in his chest like a drum, each beat echoing the fear and excitement that coursed through his veins. He had spent the entire night tossing and turning, his mind a whirlwind of what-ifs and maybes. But here he was, standing on Scott's doorstep, ready to face whatever was to come.
He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to do, and then he knocked.
Scott opened the door, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “Good morning”
Sebastian swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Is Sam ready for tutoring?” Sebastian asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Scott nodded, "Yeah, she's just finishing up breakfast. Come on in."
Sebastian stepped inside, his shoes echoing on the hardwood floors. He noticed the house was immaculately clean, filled with the scent of fresh coffee and baked goods.
"Have a seat," Scott offered, motioning to the dining room table. "Coffee?"
Sebastian nodded, "Yes, please."
Scott poured him a cup and set it down in front of him. "Thanks," Sebastian murmured, wrapping his hands around the warm mug.
Scott sat down across from him, his eyes studying Sebastian intently.
"Everything okay, Sebastian? You seem a bit... distracted."
Sebastian's fingers tightened around his mug, his mind racing. He knew he had to say something, to reveal the truth before it was too late. But he was terrified of how Scott would react. He took a deep breath and started to speak, but the words caught in his throat.
"Sebastian?" Scott prompted, his voice gentle yet firm. "What's going on?"
Sebastian's eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and when he opened them again, he saw everything he wanted and feared in Scott's gaze. He can’t do it.
“Everything is fine sir” Sebastian confirms with ease and a smile before taking a sip of coffee.
“Alright.” Scott nods, returning the smile. “Let’s get you set up with Sam. She should be finished with breakfast any moment.”
Samantha comes bounding down the stairs, her backpack slung over one shoulder and her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. “Morning, Sebastian!” she chirps, flopping down in a chair beside him.
“Morning, Sam,” Sebastian replies, smiling.
“Thanks for helping me with math, Sebastian. You’re the best!” Sam says, beaming.
“You’re very welcome, Sam.
I’m happy to help.” Sebastian smiles, his eyes flicking to Scott for a moment before quickly looking away. He can’t believe he’s sitting here, in Scott’s house, about to tutor his daughter. Just a few hours ago, he was talking to him online, confessing his true feelings. Now, he’s here, trying to act normal.
Scott stands up, his chair scraping against the floor. “Alright, you two get started. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”
Sebastian nods, trying to push down the anxious butterflies in his stomach.
He watches as Scott walks out of the room, his broad shoulders disappearing through the doorway. He takes a deep breath and turns to face Sam.
"So, where do you want to start, Sam?" he asks, pulling out his notebook and a pen.
Sam grins, "Let's start with fractions! They're so confusing, but you make them so easy to understand!"
Sebastian smiles back, grateful for the distraction. He spends the next hour and a half explaining fractions to Sam, using analogies and real-life examples to help her grasp the concepts.
She's a quick learner, and he can see the light bulb moments in her eyes as she begins to understand. He loves this part of tutoring, seeing the moment when something clicks for a student. He feels a sense of pride and accomplishment, something he rarely feels in other aspects of his life.
As they pack up their things, Sam looks up at him with a grin. "You're the best tutor ever, Sebastian!" she exclaims, throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hug. He smiles and hugs her back, a warmth spreading through his chest.
"Thank you, Sam.
That means a lot to me," Sebastian says, returning the hug. He feels a pang of guilt as he thinks about his earlier intentions, about how he wanted to use this opportunity to get closer to Scott. But looking at Sam's bright, eager face, he knows he could never hurt her. He will never tell her the truth about his feelings for her father.
As they walk to the door, Scott appears in the hallway, his arms crossed and a look of concern on his face. "Everything go okay?" he asks, his eyes flicking between Sebastian and Sam.
Sebastian nods, "Yes, sir.
Sam's a quick learner. She picked up fractions like a pro."
Scott smiles, his eyes softening as he looks at his daughter. "That's fantastic, Sam. I'm proud of you."
Sam beams, clearly basking in her father's praise. "Thanks, Dad."
Sebastian watches the interaction, his heart aching with a mixture of longing and regret. He loves seeing Scott like this, loving and affectionate, but it only serves to remind him of how much he can't have.
"Well, I better get going," Sebastian says, breaking the moment.
“Sebastian could you help me move a cabinet in the garage before you leave?” Scott asks , wiping his hands on a dish towel.
Sebastian nods, “Of course, sir.”
He follows Scott out to the garage, his heart pounding in his chest. He hopes he can maintain his composure, keep his true feelings hidden from Scott. The garage is large, filled with various tools and boxes stacked haphazardly. The cabinet they need to move is heavy, made of dark wood with intricate carvings along the front.
“Grab that end,” Scott instructs, and Sebastian complies, wrapping his hands around the cold wood. Together, they lift and move the cabinet a few feet, Scott leading the way.
Sebastian's muscles strain under the weight, but he pushes through the discomfort, eager to prove himself useful to Scott. As they set the cabinet down in its new location, Scott wipes the sweat from his brow.
"Thanks for your help, Sebastian," he says, offering a genuine smile. "I couldn't have done it without you."
Sebastian feels a flush of pride at Scott's words, even though he knows he could have handled the cabinet on his own. "No problem, Mr. Bates I'm happy to help."
Scott nods, his gaze lingering on Sebastian for a moment before he clears his throat and breaks the connection.
"Well, I'm sure you have other plans for the day. Thanks again for your help."
Sebastian nods, the pride he felt moments ago dissolving into a knot of unease in his stomach. "No problem, Mr. Bates. I'll see you next week for tutoring?"
Scott's expression softens, and he gives Sebastian a small smile. "Of course. Thanks again, Sebastian."
Sebastian turns and walks away, his heart pounding in his chest. He can't believe how close he came to confessing his feelings to Scott.
He can't afford to let that happen again. He needs to keep his distance, to maintain a professional relationship with Scott and his family. He knows it's the right thing to do, but it's so hard when all he wants is to be close to Scott, to feel his touch, his dominance.
As he walks back to his car, he can't shake the feeling that Scott is watching him. He shrugs it off, telling himself it's just his imagination. But as he turns around to wave goodbye, he catches Scott looking at him, a strange expression on his face. He quickly looks away, feeling a shiver run down his spine.
Sebastian continues tutoring while lily continues her relationship with Scott online. They keep this up for a few months. Sebastian tutors Sam once a week, and every night, he becomes Lily for Scott. They form a strange sort of rhythm, a dance of secrets and lies. Sebastian finds himself looking forward to both parts of his life, to the comfort and challenge of helping Sam with her schoolwork and the raw, primal connection he feels with Scott as Lily.
One day, as Sebastian is helping Sam with her homework, she looks up at him with a serious expression on her face. "Sebastian, do you have a girlfriend?" she asks, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger.
Sebastian nearly chokes on his own spit. "Uh, no, not yet," he manages to croak out, his heart pounding in his chest. He can't believe Sam brought this up now, of all times. He's been so careful, so cautious, he never thought she'd ask him something like this.
"That's too bad," Sam says, it's like she can sense his discomfort, and she presses on. "You're such a nice guy, Sebastian. You're smart, and you're good at math, and you're really funny.I think you'd make some girl really happy."
Sebastian feels a flush creeping up his neck, his heart pounding. He tries to dismiss the compliment with a laugh, "Aw, shucks, Sam. You're too kind."
Sam grins at him, and Sebastian can't help but feel a pang of guilt. He's been living a double life, lying to Sam and her family, and here she is, praising him like he's some kind of saint. He quickly changes the subject, "So, about those fractions..."
Sam rolls her eyes but plays along, "Fine, fine.
That night.
Scott is on the edge of his bed, his heart pounding as he types a message to Lily. He's been thinking about her all day, about their conversation the night before. he can't deny the connection they share.
**Scott** You there?
A few seconds later, his phone buzzes with a response.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** Hey Daddy. I'm here. What's up?
**Scott:** I just... I wanted to talk to you.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** About what, Daddy?
Scott takes a deep breath, his heart pounding. He's been struggling with something all day, and he needs to get it off his chest.
**Scott:** I think I'm falling in love with you, Lily.
A long pause follows his confession, and Scott's heart races with anticipation and fear. He's not sure what to expect, not sure how Lily will react.
Finally, her response appears on the screen.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** Oh, Daddy... I've been falling for you since the moment we started talking.
Scott feels a rush of relief at her words. He's been worried that he's been moving too fast, that he's been pushing Lily away with his intensity. But her confession tells him that she feels it too, this connection between them.
Scott: I can't stop thinking about you. It's like you're the piece of the puzzle I've been missing my whole life, Lily.
Lunar_Lily_23: I know what you mean, Daddy. It's like we just clicked. Like we were meant to find each other.
Scott: I wish I could hold you, Lily.
I wish I could kiss you, tell you how much you mean to me.
Lunar_Lily_23: Me too, Daddy. More than anything. Could we ever be together?
Scott pauses to take in the words could wet ever be together, could we, how would it work. He knows this is his deepest desire, to be with Lily in person, to see her, touch her, to feel her against him. But the logistics of it all make his head spin. He has a wife, a family, responsibilities. He can't just up and leave all of that behind for a chance to be with Lily. Can he?
**Scott:** I don't know, Lily. I have a lot of responsibilities here, a family. I don't know if I can just leave that behind.
There's a long pause before Lily responds, and Scott's heart aches with anticipation.
He knows she's thinking, considering the weight of his words.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** I understand, Daddy. I wish things were different too. I wish we could be together, but I don't want to hurt anyone.
Scott's heart sinks as he reads her message. He knows she's right. He can't just walk away from his family, from his life. But the thought of never seeing Lily, of never feeling her touch, fills him with a profound sadness.
**Scott:** I don't want to hurt anyone either, Lily. But I can't ignore these feelings.
I can't keep living this lie, can I? Scott's fingers tap nervously on the keyboard as he stares at the screen, waiting for Lily's response. He knows he's putting her in a difficult position, forcing her to choose between him and her family. But he can't help it. He's in too deep, and he can't see a way out.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** I don't know what to say, Daddy. I feel the same way, but I don't want to destroy your family.
I just wish..." Lily's message trailed off, leaving Scott to fill in the blanks.
**Scott:** I know, Lily. I feel the same way. This... situation... it's not fair to either of us, or to my family. But I don't know how to fix it.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** Me neither, Daddy. I just wish we could find a way to be together without hurting anyone.
Scott takes a deep breath, his heart heavy with the weight of their conversation.
He knows he can't keep living this double life, this secret relationship with Lily. It's not fair to her, to his family, to himself. But he also knows that walking away from her is going to be one of the hardest things he's ever had to do.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** Daddy, can we just take a step back? Pretend this never happened? Forget our feelings for each other?
Scott's heart clenches at the suggestion. He knows that's the rational, responsible thing to do.
To cut off all contact with Lily, to never speak to her again. But the thought of it makes his chest ache with a physical pain. How can he forget her? How can he go back to the life he had before, to the emptiness, the loneliness?
But he also knows he can't keep living this lie. He can't keep hurting his family, keeping secrets from the people he loves. He can't keep putting Lily through this either. She deserves better. They both do.
**Scott:** I can’t live without now Lily. Your words make me feel physical pain. I need you! I need you like I need air to breathe.need you like I need you like my next heartbeat.If I can't have you, I don't know how I'll go on.
- Scott
Scott’s heart hammers in his chest as he reads the words he just typed. He hits send before he can change his mind, the weight of his admission pressing down on him. He knows he’s playing with fire, knows he should let go of Lily, walk away, and never look back. But he can’t. He won’t. Because he’s in too deep, too far gone.
He can’t let her go, no matter the cost. He waits, his heart pounding, for her response. It doesn’t take long.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** Please, Daddy. Don’t do this to us. We can’t be together. You have a family, and I can’t take that away from you. I won’t be the reason your life falls apart.
Scott’s throat constricts as he reads her words. He understands her fears, her concerns. But that doesn’t make it any easier to accept.
**Scott:** I can’t live without you.I won’t. The cost doesn’t matter. I need you, Lily. I’ll figure out a way for us to be together. I have to.
He hits send and sets his phone down, his heart pounding in his chest. He can’t believe he just said that. He can’t believe he’s willing to risk everything for this woman he’s never even met in person. But he knows it’s true. He can’t live without her anymore.
His phone buzzes with a response, and he picks it up, his heart in his throat.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** ok daddy I trust you, would you love me no matter what? **Scott:** Yes Lily, I would love you no matter what. I promise.
**Lunar_Lily_23:** ok then I trust you. Let's figure this out together.
Scott let out a sigh of relief and leaned back against his headboard, his heart still pounding in his chest. He knew this wasn't going to be easy, but he was determined to make it work. He had to. He couldn't live without Lily.