Chapter 5: Resolution
months passed and we grew closer by the day she taught me everything she knew of control and I taught her the techniques I used while sparing. all the while exploring our connection. we were total opposites and yet the notes of our pasts could have been the same story.
We both had our demons - mine were literal ghosts from my past life as a street fighter, while hers were emotional scars left behind by an ex who had used and discarded her like trash.
But despite our differences, we found common ground in our shared passion for martial arts and our mutual desire for control - over ourselves, over our pasts, over our futures.
And so we trained together - day after day, week after week - pushing each other harder than we'd ever pushed ourselves before. Kenna taught me how to harness my strength without losing control, how to channel my aggression into a laser, and for my part I taught her technique without form or restrictions.
It was an uneasy balance that soon became second nature.
We trained together every morning before sunrise—her inching towards trust while ignoring flattery; me learning restraint over desire.
One crisp autumn morning found us on our usual towel-laden mat laid out under an ancient tree in Dojo’s courtyard.
“You’re getting better,” Kenna commented as we rested between sets.
“well it's easy since you got on the pill and I don't have to pull out anymore."
"I meant with control, you ass!" she laughed gently swatting me on the arm.
"you know what I meant."
I grinned at her playfully. "I do but it's more fun this way."
She rolled her eyes but couldn't suppress a smile. "You're impossible."
"Impossibly charming?" I offered with a wink.
She snorted derisively. "In your dreams."
"Maybe," I replied softly, my gaze turning serious. "But it seems I've been living my dreams lately... Oh! and I mastered a technique I think you be impressed."
kenna shifted watching me her ponytail spilling down her back. I took the impractical stance and reached to the sky lifting to this tips of my toes.
Kenna's eyes widened as she took in that sight.
"What in the ever-loving hell..." Her words trailed off as she stared at me.
"holy shit this hurts!" My voice wavered but I didn't break the display.
"you did that after only 2 months?!? your a monster! not much of a dancer but still!"
She threw herself back onto the mat with a thud.
"We should celebrate."
"You mean fuck?"
"It's not just sex anymore." She looked at him seriously.
"No?" He raised an eyebrow.
"No." She rolled back onto her feet.
I shrugged confused. "What is it?"
"I'm worried."
"What about?"
"The fact that we're getting closer."
I sat up straighter. "And you don't want that?" I asked cautiously.
"It's not that." She sighed softly.
"What then?"
"I'm scared." She admitted quietly.
"I've been hurt before, James. Badly. And I don't want to go through that again."
I reached out and took her hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I know you have, Kenna. But I promise you, I'm not him. I won't hurt you like that."
She looked down at our entwined hands, her thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand. "I know you won't on purpose. But what if... what if I fall for you, James? What if I let myself care for you and then you leave?
Or worse, what if you stay but realize you don't want me anymore? What if this thing between us turns out to be nothing more than physical attraction? What if—"
"Kenna," I interrupted softly, pulling her attention back to me. "What if none of that happens? What if we take this one day at a time and see where it goes? What if we give ourselves permission to be happy, just for once?"
She looked at me then, really looked at me, and I could see the fear and vulnerability in her eyes. It made my heart ache for her, for us.
But it also made me determined.
"Kenna," I said softly, "I can't promise you forever right now. But what I can promise you is that I won't hurt you intentionally. And I won't leave unless you ask me to."
She searched my face for any sign of insincerity but found none.
"And if it turns out to be just physical?" she asked quietly.
I shrugged slightly.
"Then we'll deal with it when it happens. But until then, let's not waste time worrying about what might be. and besides, think of all the great sex!" I added with a wink.
Kenna laughed softly, shaking her head at me.
"You're incorrigible," she said.
"Guilty as charged," I replied with a grin.
She sighed, looking down at our still entwined hands.
"Alright," she said finally, meeting my gaze again.
"One day at a time."
I smiled widely at her, feeling a warmth spread through me at her words.
"Does this mean we can celebrate now?" I asked hopefully.
"Fine," she said.
"But only if it's face-to-face."
I raised an eyebrow in mock surprise.
"But isn't face-to-face... well... face-to-face?"
Kenna rolled her eyes playfully.
"Typical guy," she muttered.
"I'm just setting expectations," I countered.
She smirked.
"Expectations are overrated," she said casually.
And with that, she grabbed my hand again and pulled me up from the mat.
"But let's get started."
We walked back towards the main training hall together.
"So what technique did you master?" she asked curiously as we walked.
"the ballet thing!"
"I wouldn't call that mastered."
"you wound me!" I grabbed my arm as if stuck by an arrow.
'James,' Kenna whispered urgently as she tightened her grip around mine.
Her eyes darted nervously toward the entrance of Dojo's training hall where Thomas stood... or rather stormed.
His tall frame was silhouetted against the fading sunlight filtering through the doorway.
Thomas' jaw was clenched tight enough to crack walnuts; his eyes burned like two tiny furnaces as they landed on us.
my hand tore from Kenna's grip before I stepped closer. "Thomas," I growled lowly like an animal preparing to pounce. "What are doing here?" I asked calmly despite my heart pounding like a bass drum inside my chest.
"You know exactly why," Thomas sneered.
He took another step forward.
"I came to brake off a piece in that slut. I left her so broken I figured she'd be begging me to take her back, but here you are fucking with me all over again. just like high school. I thought I was done with you after you ran like a bitch." Thomas said, his every word an offense.
My fist clenched tight, "your lucky I left. you didn't know what you where playing with you stupid stupid son of a bitch." My voice lower cold and deadly.
"James." Kenna's voice was gentle but cut to my core, "James, control... for you, for me, for your father."
Her voice was steady, but I could hear the slight tremor beneath it.
I took a deep breath, unclenching my fists slowly. I couldn't lose control, not here, not now. Not with Kenna watching.
"Thomas," I said, my voice measured and calm despite the storm raging inside me. "You need to leave. Now."
He scoffed, taking another step forward. "Or what? You'll hit me? Go ahead, big man. Show me what you've got."
I didn't move, barely even breathed. "I won't hit you, Thomas. Unlike you, I don't hit women."
"I gotta admit that was a sick burn. you mouth always did get you into trouble." without warning a fist bazed my way but I found that since I was calm time almost stopped I side stepped and folded him to the ground with Okuriashi harai his hand still in the air. seeing the hidden blade I used UDAK to disarm and took a step back. I marveled knowing that seeing a weapon like that would normally send me in a justified rage but every time I felt my temper flare it was as if I felt kenna embraces me and whisper control in my ear.
Thomas stood again and looked at the blade I had taken from him eyes wide. I snapped my arm and it flipped threw the air burying in a ceder beam. I nodded to Kenna, "another thing my dad taught me. let me know if you want to learn knife throwing."
"you just threw away your only advantage!" Thomas laughed as he took a boxers stance.
"can you just finish embarrassing yourself? I have a celebration to start." I spat making Kenna give me a double take.
"hey, I’m just playing with him," I smiled gently.
I took a few steps closer to Thomas, who was now cursing under his breath, still favoring his arm.
"just leave," I told him calmly, my voice devoid of any emotion.
But Thomas was not so easily deterred.
He lunged at me with surprising speed and agility, given his size, his fist connecting squarely with the side of my jaw as I rolled away taking the bite out of it.
I faked pain. "their you hit me, hurray for you wasn't that the challenge all you meatheads were trying to accomplish?
you can feel good that has only been one other person to hit me and it was her but she hits harder.
now fuck off already." I spat again, this time tasting blood in my mouth.
But Thomas didn't leave.
Instead, he charged towards me again, his eyes wild with anger and determination.
I sidestepped his attack easily, tripping him up with a quick leg sweep.
He landed hard on the floor, his breath knocked out of him.
I looked at him coolly, my heart still racing from the adrenaline but I could feel my rage settling.
"Get up," I said softly, almost gently.
he stood and charged again abandoning all style. I snatch his wrist out of the air and grab him under his jaw lifting him into the air and slamming him down on a table, I grip changed to an eagle talon on his trachea, "you remember this form last time? it wasn't a fluke! you are only alive because I allow it. understand? If you like breathing; LEAVE!
Thomas looked at me with hate in his eyes, and I realized that I had been reliving one of my past mistakes.
Back then, I hadn't fought with control; I had simply fought blindly, fueled by anger and fear.
Today, I had proven that I could handle myself, that I didn't have to let my opponents' actions dictate the fight.
Today, I had shown him that I was no longer the weak street fighter had to be afraid of losing control so I decided to punctuate my point with a gentle squeeze. "you would be wise to forget Kenna and I excite.
she is mine now, and I won't hesitate to show you the consequences if you continue to bother her." I stood tall with a cold glint in my eye, addressed Thomas with the confidence of a god judging a damned soul that sent shivers down Thomas' spine.
Kenna gathered herself and walked slowly toward Thomas, pushing him back with a gentle but firm hand to the wall. She leveled her gaze intensely with his.' Why are you back, Thomas?" she asked controlled and steady.
"Wrong turn, I apologize for any inconvenience," Thomas sneered, clearly ill at ease.
"good boy, now turn, walk and if you ever look back I swear you'll regret it." I said coldly.
My voice was laced with steel, and I could feel Kenna's eyes on me. I knew she was watching me, waiting for a sign that I was slipping, that the past was taking hold of me once again. But it wasn't. Not this time. I remained focused, my gaze fixed on Thomas as he put his hands up in a gesture of surrender.
He looked defeated, but I knew better. I had fought him before, and I knew the way his mind worked. There was no way he was going to back down without a fight. Kenna stepped closer and as Thomas spun for another attack she rammed a knee hard into his groin.
"what! I went out of my way not to hurt him!" I said shocked.
"that is your issue, I've wanted to do that for years!"Kenna said with a smile as Thomas dropped to the ground.
"Jesus Christ, Kenna!" I exclaimed, staring at her in shock and confusion.
She shrugged, a wicked gleam in her eye. "He needed to learn a lesson."
I shook my head in disbelief but couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "You're a wild one, you know that?"
Kenna grinned back at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief and something else I couldn't quite put my finger on.
"You like it," she said, still grinning.
"I love it," I corrected her, still in shock at her sudden display of violence. But also turned on.
Kenna walked into the dojo, her hips swaying seductively. "I may need to celebrate twice." She said not bothering to hide the innuendo.
"Are you kidding after seeing what you did to him, I'm afraid to let you anywhere near my balls!" I joked.
We shared a warm smile, and Kenna's gaze lingered on me for a moment longer than necessary. A gentle blush crept up her cheeks, and I felt a surge of affection for her. She turned away quickly, avoiding eye contact.
"You okay?" I asked, wanting to be by her side. To watch her back, just like my father had done for me.
"Physically, yes," she replied, her voice gruff. "But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shaken up."
"Yeah that wasn't a dojo fight. They can get intense." I said trying to sooth her.
Oh it wasn't the fight... It's that I finally admitted it to myself... I love you. Completely. Without fear or reservation.
"I admitted that to myself long ago but I knew you needed time."
Kenna's head snapped up, her eyes wide with surprise and disbelief. I could see her fighting to hold back tears, and it made my heart ache for her. "James," she whispered faintly.
I took a step closer, reaching out to take her hand in mine. "Say something," I urged her gently.
She searched my face, looking for any sign that I was joking or teasing her. But all she found was sincerity and warmth.
I didn't want to push her, but I couldn't help myself. I needed her to know how I felt, to hear the words from my own mouth.
"I love you," I said again, this time more confidently. "I have for a long time, but I was too afraid to admit it. Afraid of scaring you away, of ruining what we had."
Kenna's eyes welled up with tears as she listened to me, and I could see the walls she had built around her heart starting to crumble.
"If you think making me cry is going to get you off the hook for calibrating you are sadly mistaken. I'm thinking 3 times now." She said wiping away a tear.
'Three times?' I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That's right," Kenna said with a small laugh. 'Once for your father, who taught you to fight with honor and respect. Once for yourself, for learning control and becoming the man you are today. And once for me, for finally opening up and admitting how you feel.'
I felt myself smiling widely at her words, a sense of warmth spreading through me. I didn't know what the future held for us, but in that moment, everything felt right.
Oh, and by the way your paying for sticking that knife in the pillar. hardwood isn't cheap!
the end