Chapter 4: Final Goodbye
It was the next morning. Jiwoong carried Matthew’s suitcases to the airport for his return to Canada. He cannot believe that he only met him for a week, but he felt this heavy sense of commitment and attraction to Matthew. He doesn't want to let go of him, but he cannot do anything else.
They walked through the bustling airport, Jiwoong's hand clasped tightly around Matthew's, as if letting go would mean losing him forever. Matthew looked over at Jiwoong, his heart aching at the sight of the man he loved looking so forlorn. He wanted to say something, anything, to make Jiwoong feel better, but the words escaped him. How could he put into words the whirlwind of emotions he was feeling?
As they approached the security checkpoint, Jiwoong stopped, turning to face Matthew. His eyes were filled with unshed tears, his expression one of pain and longing.
"This is it, then," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Matthew nodded, his own eyes stinging with unshed tears. "Yeah, this is it," he echoed, his voice thick with emotion. Jiwoong reached up, his fingers brushing a stray lock of hair away from Matthew's face. "I don't want to let you go," he confessed, his voice low and vulnerable. Matthew's heart ached at the words, at the raw, naked emotion in Jiwoong's gaze. He leaned into Jiwoong's touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment.
"I don't want to go," he admitted, his voice soft. "But I have to. I have commitments, responsibilities back home." Jiwoong nodded, his fingers trailing down Matthew's cheek, his thumb brushing against his bottom lip. "I know. I just...I wish things could be different." Matthew opened his eyes, looking into Jiwoong's. "They can be. We can make them different. We can make this work, Jiwoong. Long distance isn't easy, but it's not impossible." Jiwoong's gaze searched Matthew's, looking for any sign of doubt or uncertainty.
But all he saw was determination and love. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. "Okay, Matthew. Let's make this work. But I have a condition." Matthew raised an eyebrow, surprise flickering in his eyes. "A condition?" he echoed. Jiwoong nodded, his expression serious. "Yes. I want us to be exclusive. No matter the distance, no matter the time spent apart, I want you to be mine, and only mine." Matthew's lips curved into a soft smile, his eyes shining with unshed tears.
"I thought you'd never ask, Jiwoong. I'm already yours, completely and utterly. I don't want anyone else, not now, not ever." Jiwoong's expression softened, a small smile playing on his lips. He leaned in, pressing his lips softly against Matthew's in a tender, lingering kiss. When they pulled away, Matthew's heart was pounding in his chest, his breath coming in short gasps. "I love you, Jiwoong," he said, his voice steady and sure.
Jiwoong's eyes widened, surprise and delight warring in his gaze. It was the first time Matthew had said those words, the first time he had openly confessed his feelings. "I love you too, Matthew. So much," Jiwoong said, his voice thick with emotion. Matthew smiled, leaning in to press another soft kiss to Jiwoong's lips. "I have to go," he said, pulling away reluctantly. Jiwoong nodded, his eyes filled with unshed tears. But we'll talk every day, okay?
“Promise me, that you will call me and text me when you are at Canada" Jiwoong said, his voice low and firm. Matthew nodded, his heart aching at the thought of leaving Jiwoong behind. "I promise. We'll talk every day, and we'll see each other soon. I'll come back to Korea as soon as I can," he said, his voice steady and sure. "Okay. That's all I ask," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
Matthew nodded, his heart heavy with the weight of their new reality. I'll call you as soon as I land," he promised, his voice thick with emotion. They stood there for a moment, lost in each other's gaze, unwilling to let go. But the world around them didn't stop, and the line for security grew longer, the voices of the passengers growing louder. It was time for Matthew to go.
Jiwoong leaned in, pressing one last kiss to Matthew's lips. It was soft, gentle, a promise of things to come.
They pulled away, their foreheads resting against each other, their breaths mingling. Matthew reached up, his fingers tangling in Jiwoong's hair, holding him close. "I don't want to go," he whispered, his voice barely audible. Jiwoong's arms tightened around him, his own voice thick with emotion. "I don't want you to go."
But they both knew it was inevitable. Matthew had commitments in Canada, a life that he had built before Jiwoong had come crashing into it, turning everything upside down.
[5 Years Later]
Matthew looked at the computer screen and couldn’t believe he was able to pass the audition and go back to Korea again.
The memories of his last trip to Korea were still vivid in his mind. Despite the time that had passed, he still remembered the taste of Jiwoong's lips, the feel of his touch, and the sound of his voice. He knew it was going to be challenging to see Jiwoong again after all these years, but he was ready to face whatever came his way.
As he stepped off the plane, the warm Korean air greeted him, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity and comfort. He made his way through the bustling airport, his heart pounding with anticipation. He departed and flew to Korea immediately the next day.
He knew Jiwoong would be waiting for him, and the thought sent thrills down his spine. As he rounded a corner, he saw him - tall, lean, and impossibly handsome, with those same piercing eyes that had haunted his dreams for the past five years. Jiwoong was holding a bouquet of Matthew's favorite flowers, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Hey, stranger," Matthew said, approaching him with a grin. Jiwoong's face lit up, and he pulled Matthew into a tight embrace, the flowers squishing between them.
"I thought you'd never get here," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. Matthew hugged him back just as tightly, feeling like he was finally home.
"Well, you know, they make us go through all sorts of security checks these days," Matthew joked, pulling back to look at Jiwoong. He couldn't believe how much he had missed him, how much he had longed to see him again.
Jiwoong chuckled, handing him the bouquet. "Here, these are for you.
I figured you could use a little reminder of home," Jiwoong said, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he handed Matthew the bouquet.
Matthew took the flowers, bringing them to his nose to inhale their sweet scent. "Thank you, Jiwoong. They're beautiful. Just like you," he said, his voice soft.
Jiwoong blushed at the compliment, looking down at the ground. "Come on, let's get out of here. I don't want to spend another minute in this airport," he said, looping his arm through Matthew's.
Jiwoong tried to run with Matthew while grasping his hand. He dashed and tried to run, but his black baseball hat fell to the floor. Some crowd recognized Jiwoong and shouted “OMG!!! Jiwoong from ZB1 is here” There was panic and tension filled between Matthew and Jiwoong so they had to run and hide on the opposite direction. Several people were running in their direction and Matthew looked distraught. He thought “Damn, You’re really a celebrity and idol now.” It was a stark reminder of the life Jiwoong led, and the chasm that had grown between them in the years they'd been apart. Matthew couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy, but he pushed it aside, focusing instead on the man he loved.
"Come on, this way," Matthew said, tugging Jiwoong towards a quieter part of the airport. They weaved through the crowds, Jiwoong's hand clutched tightly in Matthew's, until they found a secluded spot behind a pillar. Jiwoong leaned against the wall, his chest heaving as he caught his breath.
Matthew stood in front of him, guarding him from the curious eyes of the passersby. He looked over his shoulder at Jiwoong, a small smile playing on his lips.
"You've certainly become famous since I last saw you," he teased, trying to lighten the mood. Jiwoong chuckled, running a hand through his disheveled hair.
"I guess that's what happens when you become an idol," he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Matthew's smile faded slightly, a hint of seriousness entering his gaze.
"How does it feel, Jiwoong? Being famous, I mean.
Is it everything you thought it would be?"
Jiwoong's expression sobered, his gaze meeting Matthew's. "It's...complicated," he admitted, his voice soft. "On one hand, it's amazing. I get to do what I love every day, travel the world, meet incredible people. But on the other hand, it's also exhausting. The constant pressure, the lack of privacy, the expectations...it can be overwhelming sometimes."
Matthew nodded, understanding flickering in his eyes. "I can imagine," he said, his voice gentle. "But you love it, don't you?
The performances, the music, the fans?" Matthew asked, his voice soft with curiosity. Jiwoong nodded, a small smile playing on his lips.
"More than anything," he admitted. "It's just...hard to explain. It's like a part of me comes alive when I'm on stage, when I'm singing. And the fans...they make it all worth it. Seeing their faces, hearing their cheers, knowing that I'm making them happy - it's the best feeling in the world."
Matthew's heart swelled with pride and love at the sight of Jiwoong's passion.
He reached out, taking Jiwoong's hand in his own. "I'm glad you found something you love so much, Jiwoong. I'm proud of you."
Jiwoong's face lit up at the compliment, his fingers tightening around Matthew's. "Thank you, Matthew. That means a lot coming from you."
Matthew smiled, his thumb brushing gently over Jiwoong's knuckles. "So, what's next for you, Jiwoong? Any big plans or projects?"
Jiwoong hesitated for a moment, his gaze flicking away from Matthew's.
"Well, there is something," he admitted, his voice soft. "But I'm not sure if you're going to like it."
Matthew raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Oh yeah? Try me," he said, his voice encouraging.
Jiwoong took a deep breath, steeling himself for Matthew's reaction. "The agency wants me to be in a Korean BL-Drama with another member in my group. You know, to boost our group popularity. The problem we’re facing right now is that I’m overpowering other members’ popularity in the group and they also need to shine on their own.”
Jiwoong hesitated, looking at Matthew to gauge his reaction. “So, they propose that I act in this drama to shift some attention away from me and onto the other members.”
Matthew processed this information, his expression unreadable. Jiwoong held his breath, waiting for Matthew's response. After what felt like an eternity, Matthew finally spoke.
"And how do you feel about this, Jiwoong?" he asked, his voice steady and calm. Jiwoong let out a sigh of relief, grateful that Matthew wasn't immediately dismissive or angry.
"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it," he admitted, his eyes searching Matthew's for any signs of disapproval. "On one hand, I think it could be a great opportunity for me to try something new, to challenge myself as an actor. And it would give the other members a chance to shine, which is important for the group's dynamics. But on the other hand, I'm nervous.
Matthew wants to be proud of his boyfriend and support him as much as possible. His facial expression becomes more hesitant and adamant. “Seriously, though? Another member in your group? Gunwook?” That guy vibes just doesn’t fit with me and won’t it be awkward for you two to meet each other?
Plus, I’ve heard rumors about him. He’s not exactly...straight." Matthew said, his voice laced with concern and a hint of jealousy.
Jiwoong's eyes widened in surprise, a blush creeping up his cheeks. "You've heard rumors about Gunwook?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Matthew nodded, his gaze steady on Jiwoong's. "Yeah, I have.
And I'm not going to lie, Jiwoong, it makes me a little uneasy," Matthew admitted, his voice low. He didn't want to come across as jealous or possessive, but he couldn't ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. Jiwoong reached out, taking Matthew's hand in his own. "Please don't worry about that, Matthew. I promise you, Gunwook and I are just friends. We've known each other for years, and we've got a great working relationship.
Nothing more, nothing less," Jiwoong said, his voice steady and sincere. Matthew searched Jiwoong's gaze, looking for any hint of deceit. But all he saw was honesty and love. He let out a sigh, his shoulders relaxing as some of the tension left his body. "Okay, I trust you," he said, his voice soft. Jiwoong's face broke into a wide smile, his eyes shining with relief and happiness. That means a lot to me," he said, squeezing Matthew's hand.
"I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have, Matthew. You know that, right?"
Matthew nodded, smiling back at Jiwoong. I'm sorry if I came across as jealous or overbearing. It's just...I care about you, Jiwoong. A lot. And I don't want anything or anyone to hurt you."
Jiwoong's expression softened, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to Matthew's lips. "I know you do," he murmured. "And I care about you too, Matthew.
More than you'll ever know," Jiwoong replied, his voice soft as he pulled away from the kiss. "But enough about me and my drama. How about you? What's been going on in your life since we last saw each other?"
Matthew chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "Well, let's see. I've been busy with my own career, of course. I've been traveling all over the world, performing, recording, the works. I even started my own production company," he said, a note of pride in his voice.
Jiwoong's eyes widened in surprise. I got admitted to this show called Produce 202 so I’m staying in Korea for a while.
I figure it's a good opportunity to spend some time with you too," Matthew said, a small smile playing on his lips.
Jiwoong's face lit up at the mention of Matthew staying in Korea for an extended period. "That sounds amazing, Matthew. I'd love to spend more time with you," he said, his voice filled with genuine excitement.
Matthew's smile widened, his heart fluttering at Jiwoong's reaction. "I'm glad you think so. I was a little worried you might be too busy with your own schedule," he admitted, his voice soft.
Matthew shook his head, his expression serious. "I make time for what's important, Jiwoong. And you are important to me. This is important to me," he said, his voice steady and sure. Jiwoong's heart swelled at Matthew's words, warmth spreading through him. He reached out, taking Matthew's hand in his own. "I'm glad to hear that," he said, his voice soft. "Because I want to spend as much time with you as possible while you're here." Matthew's thumb brushed gently over Jiwoong's knuckles, sending shivers down his spine.
"So, what do you say we get out of here and grab some dinner? I'm starving," he suggested, a playful glint in his eye. Jiwoong chuckled, grateful for the change in topic. "Sounds like a plan. Is there anywhere specific you want to go?" he asked, falling into step beside Matthew as they made their way out of the airport. Matthew thought for a moment before snapping his fingers. "I know, we could ho to your apartment and I’ll cook your favorite pancake.” He smiled with a grin.
Jiwoong chuckled, nodding in agreement. "Fine, fine. But only if you promise me it will not be a science experiment and you won’t put weird stuff in pancakes like last time. Matthew laughed, holding up his hands in surrender. "Deal.” They took a taxi cab outside the airport and finally arrived at Jiwoong’s apartment.
It was a modern, high-rise building in the heart of Seoul, with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a breathtaking view of the city skyline. Matthew couldn't help but whistle in appreciation as they stepped into the elevator. "Nice place you've got here, Jiwoong," he commented, leaning against the wall as the elevator ascended.
Jiwoong chuckled, pressing the button for his floor. "Thanks. It's not much, but it's home," he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Matthew raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. "Not much?
Jiwoong, this place is incredible," Matthew teased, following him into the apartment. The space was sleek and modern, with clean lines and minimalist decor. A wall of windows offered a stunning view of the city skyline, and the open-concept layout made the space feel even more spacious. Jiwoong shrugged, a blush creeping up his cheeks. "I guess I've just gotten used to it," he said, setting his keys down on a side table. Matthew wandered over to the large windows, looking out at the sprawling city below.
He could see the neon lights of Apgujeong and Gangnam, the bustling streets filled with people even at this late hour. He felt a pang of longing, a reminder of the life he had left behind in Canada.
"So, what do you think?" Jiwoong asked, coming up behind him. He had changed into a comfortable-looking sweatshirt and joggers, his hair disheveled from running his hands through it. Matthew turned to face him, a soft smile playing on his lips.
"It's amazing, Jiwoong. Truly.
Matthew looked around Jiwoong’s kitchen and tried to find the cooking utensils and ingredient. He started mixing the eggs and green onions for the pancake with some kimchi. While Matthew was cooking, Jiwoong was staring at Matthew lovingly. He couldn’t believe Matthew is back at Korea.
He has missed him so much. He was staring at Matthew who was cooking his favorite pancake. Jiwoong felt a flutter in his stomach as he watched Matthew move around the kitchen with ease, his muscles flexing under his shirt. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia, remembering the countless times they had cooked together in the past.
“What are you thinking about?” Matthew asked, catching Jiwoong staring at him. Jiwoong blushed, looking away shyly. “ Nothing, just...remembering,” he replied softly. Matthew walked over to him, wiping his hands on a dish towel.
"Remembering what?" he asked, a soft smile playing on his lips. Jiwoong looked up at him, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions. "Us," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "Cooking together, laughing together, being together." Matthew's smile faded slightly, a hint of sadness entering his gaze. "I remember too, Jiwoong. Every single moment we spent together is etched into my memory." He reached out, cupping Jiwoong's cheek in his hand. "I've never forgotten you, Jiwoong.
Not for a single day," Matthew murmured, his thumb brushing gently over Jiwoong's cheekbone. Jiwoong leaned into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. He reached up, covering Matthew's hand with his own. "I haven't forgotten you either, Matthew. Not even for a second," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. They stood there for a moment, lost in each other's gaze, the world around them fading away. But the sizzle of the pancake in the pan brought them back to reality, and Matthew chuckled, pulling away reluctantly.
"Come on, let's eat before this gets cold," he said, turning back to the stove. Jiwoong nodded, helping Matthew set the table and pour them each a glass of soju. They sat down across from each other, the steaming pancakes piled high on their plates.
Jiwoony picked up his chopsticks, taking a bite of the pancake. His eyes widened in surprise, a moan of pleasure escaping his lips. "Mmm, this is amazing, Matthew. I've missed your cooking," he said, his mouth full. There was a loud whirring that can be heard from the door. Matthew says “Do you have a visitor, it looks like someone is here?” Jiwoong gave him a grateful smile, opening the door to reveal Gunwook standing on the other side, a stack of scripts in his hands.
"Hey, Jiwoong. Sorry I'm a bit late," Gunwook said, stepping into the apartment. His eyes flicked to Matthew, a smirk playing on his lips. "Oh, I didn't realize you had company," he drawled, his gaze lingering on Matthew a little too long for comfort.
Matthew gritted his teeth, extending a hand towards Gunwook. "Matthew," he said, his voice tight.
"Nice to meet you."
Gunwook took Matthew's hand, shaking it firmly, his smirk never wavering. Jiwoong cleared his throat, stepping between them. "Gunwook, this is my boyfriend, Matthew," Jiwoong said, emphasizing the word "boyfriend."
Gunwook's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he quickly recovered. "Boyfriend, huh? Well, nice to meet you, Matthew," he said, dropping Matthew's hand.
Matthew nodded stiffly, taking a step back.
"Likewise," he murmured, his eyes cold and distant. He wanted to retreat to Jiwoong's arms and shield him from this unwelcome intrusion, but he knew he couldn't show any weakness in front of Gunwook.
Gunwook's eyes swept over Matthew's body, taking in every detail as if analyzing him. Matthew tried to remain unaffected by the obvious appraisal, but he couldn't help but feel a jolt of jealousy.
He didn't like how Gunwook was eyeing his boyfriend, as if he were sizing him up or undressing him with his gaze. Matthew's eyes narrowed as he took in Gunwook's smug expression.
"Something wrong, Matthew?" Gunwook asked, his voice dripping with mock innocence.
Matthew clenched his fists, trying to maintain his composure. "No, nothing's wrong," he said through gritted teeth.
Jiwoong looked back and forth between the two of them, a frown creasing his forehead. "Guys, stop it. I didn't invite Gunwook here to start a fight," he chided gently. Gunwook raised his hands in surrender. "Hey, I'm not trying to start anything. I just came by to drop off these scripts for the upcoming drama," he said, holding up the stack of papers in his hand.
Jiwoong nodded, taking the scripts from Gunwook and setting them aside.
"Thanks, Gunwook," he said, his voice warm and friendly. "I'll take a look at them later."
Gunwook nodded, his eyes lingering on Matthew for a moment longer before he turned to leave. "Alright, Jiwoong don’t you think he should know?” Jiwoong murmured “Know, what?”
he asked, confusion clouding his brow. He had felt Matthew's growing tense as Gunwook entered the apartment, and was unsure of what was happening.
Matthew took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain calm. He knew he needed to be responsible and sensitive towards Jiwoong, especially at such an emotional moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped as Gunwook retorted “that we hooked up one time”. Especially, whenever you felt lonely and was speaking Matthew’s name in your sleep.
But it seems he should say it so you may react maturely and accordingly, as it's happening between 2 of us. I’m sorry, Matthew. I thought it was best to tell you in person. Gunwook stayed and was expecting Matthew to say something.
Gunwook stared at Matthew blankly for a moment before bursting into tears. He ran to the bathroom and locked himself in. Jiwoong stood outside the door, unsure of what to do.
He glanced at Matthew, who was standing frozen in place. "I had no idea," Jiwoong whispered, feeling a knot form in his stomach. "I can't believe this... I never meant for it to happen, Matthew, I swear."
Matthew took a deep breath, nodding slowly. "I know," he said, his voice soft. "I trust you, Jiwoong."
But even as he spoke the words, Matthew couldn't shake the feeling of hurt and betrayal that clenched his heart.
He took a step back, away from Jiwoong, and looked down at the floor.
"I always thought we were... closer than that, Jiwoong," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. The words hung heavy in the air, casting a shadow over the room.
Jiwoong looked at Matthew with tears in his eyes, wanting nothing more than to reach out and take his hand, but he wasn't sure how Matthew would react. He took a deep breath and spoke slowly, carefully choosing his words.
"Matthew, you have to understand.
I never meant for it to happen. It was a mistake, a moment of weakness. I was under the influence of alcohol," Jiwoong said, his voice trembling with emotion.
Matthew looked at Jiwoong, his eyes filled with hurt and confusion. He wanted to believe him, but the smirk from Gunwook when he said “they hooked up one time” still lingers in his mind.
Matthew is unsure of what to do. He feels betrayed, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. After a long pause, he finally speaks up.
“Jiwoong, I need some time alone, I think,” Matthew says, his voice quiet. “This is a lot to take in, and I just need some space to process everything.”
Jiwoong nods, understanding crossing his face. “Of course, I’ll go to the other room. But please don’t shut me out forever, Matthew.
I love you, and I need you in my life,” Jiwoong says, his voice barely above a whisper. Matthew nods, but the hurt and confusion still etched on his face. “I know you do, and I need time to process and understand what happened. We can talk about this later, okay? Just give me some space,” he replies, needing distance from him right at this moment.
Jiwoong nods again, tears falling down his cheeks. He wipes them away and goes to the other room. Matthew lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.
He can't believe what just happened. He thought he and Jiwoong had something special, something that would last a lifetime. But now, everything feels uncertain.
As he sits alone in the living room, deep in thought, Gunwook enters the room. Matthew looks up, tensing at the sight of him. He doesn't know what to say or do, but Gunwook seems to sense his discomfort and speaks up first.
"I'm sorry for what happened earlier," Gunwook says, his voice sincere.
"I didn't mean to cause any trouble between the two of you."
Matthew nods stiffly, still feeling uneasy around Gunwook. "It's fine," he replies curtly.
Gunwook sighs and takes a seat next to Matthew on the couch. "Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I really do care about Jiwoong. He's one of my closest friends, and I couldn't stand by and watch him get hurt."
Matthew looks at him skeptically, but Gunwook continues.
"I saw how much Jiwoong was hurting when he was away from you. He would call me in the middle of the night, drunk and crying your name. I tried to be there for him as a friend, but it wasn't enough. And when I saw an opportunity to be there for him physically, I took it. It was a mistake, and I'm sorry."
Matthew nods slowly, taking in his words. He can understand the urge to comfort a friend in need, but it doesn't change the fact that Gunwook betrayed his trust.
Matthew opens his mouth to respond, but no words come out. Instead, he stands up, leaving Gunwook sitting nervously on the couch.
As Matthew walks to his room, his mind races. He tries to understand why Jiwoong would do something like. Was it loneliness? Or something deeper? He feels himself growing angrier with every step he takes.
Matthew enters his room and slams the door behind him. He sits down on the bed, his head in his hands. He can't believe what's happened.
The hurt and betrayal wash over him like a tidal wave, leaving him feeling dizzy and disoriented.
Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. It's Jiwoong. He looks just as shocked and distraught as Matthew feels.
"Can I come in?" Jiwoong asks softly.
Matthew nods, unable to find his voice.
Jiwoong enters the room, closing the door behind him softly. He approaches the bed, sitting down next to Matthew. The tension in the air is palpable, like a thick fog that won't clear.
"I'm sorry," Jiwoong says, breaking the silence. "I never meant for this to happen. It was a mistake, one that I deeply regret."
Matthew remains silent, his eyes focused on his hands. He wants to believe Jiwoong, he really does. But how can he trust someone who betrayed him like this?
Matthew's doubts and insecurities begin to surface, making it difficult for him to process the situation logically.
"I don't know what to say, Jiwoong," Matthew admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I never expected something like this from you. We had something real, something special, and now it feels like it's all been tainted."
Jiwoong reaches for Matthew's hand, but he pulls away, the distance between them widening. He knew he had to make a final decision. Matthew sighed deeply with regret. “I think it’s the best for us to not be with each other anymore.” No matter how disappointed and regretful Matthew was with Jiwoong, he realized that he is still an aspiring idol and Jiwoong is a veteran. No matter how much I try to retaliate from this situation, we were never fit and meant for each other. He is already established in the industry and I have nothing.
I'm just going to focus on my career and become the best idol I can be. I'll always cherish the time we had together, but it's time for me to move on," Matthew declared, trying to keep his emotions in check.
Jiwoong looked down at his hands, a tear falling down his cheek. "I understand. I'm sorry, Matthew," he said.
Matthew couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness and regret wash over him.
He knew that this was the right decision, but it didn't make it any easier. He had grown to care deeply for Jiwoong, and the thought of not having him in his life was almost unbearable.
Matthew stood up, gathered his bags, and headed towards the door. Jiwoong followed him, tears streaming down his face.
"Please, Matthew, don't leave like this," Jiwoong pleaded, grabbing onto Matthew's arm.
Matthew took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "Jiwoong, I can't stay here right now. It's better if I go," he said, gently removing Jiwoong's hand.
Jiwoong nodded, understanding the pain he caused.
"I'm sorry, Matthew. I really am. I never meant to hurt you."
Matthew looked into Jiwoong's eyes, searching for any remnants of their past love. He saw a deep sadness and regret, and he knew Jiwoong was telling the truth. But he also knew he needed to put himself first and take time to heal.
"I know you didn't mean to," Matthew said, softening his tone. "But I can't be around you right now. I hope you will never do same things to your future partner and cherish them with your life.” With those words, Matthew walked out of Jiwoong's apartment, leaving behind the man he loved. The months that followed were some of the hardest of his life. The guilt and shame of what had transpired weighed heavily on his shoulders, and he found it hard to enjoy anything. Every time he was on stage, performing in front of thousands of fans, he couldn't help but feel like a fake. He longed for the days when he and Jiwoong shared glances backstage, their connection burning bright like a lighthouse in the dark sea.
But instead of being consumed by his thoughts, Matthew forced himself to channel all that heartache and pain into his performances.
With each note Matthews sang, he imagined he was serenading Jiwoong, whose name he had removed from his phone contacts.
He was determined to show their fans that he was strong and resilient, no matter what happened behind closed doors.
As the months went by, Matthew’s phone buzzed and it was a message from Gunwook.
He hesitated before reading it, but curiosity got the best of him. It was a simple message, asking if Matthew wanted to meet up and talk. Matthew’s heart raced as he contemplated the offer. He knew he couldn’t avoid Gunwook forever, and maybe it was time to confront him. With a deep breath, he agreed to the meeting.
The day of their arranged meeting arrived, and Matthew found himself walking through the busy streets of Seoul. It had been months since he had last seen Gunwook, and the thought of facing him again still made him uneasy.
However, he knew it was crucial to hear Gunwook's side of the story.