Chapter 23: The Frozen Night
Rachel, who had been listening with the detached air of a scientist observing a fascinating specimen, had put down her trail mix entirely. "You were hyperaware of him."
"Hysterically so. He was three feet away on the floor, wrapped in blankets like a burrito, and I was lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to him breathe. And I knew he wasn't sleeping either. I could tell from the rhythm of it, the way it would change when he was thinking, the way it would hitch when he was about to say something before he stopped himself."
"Did he say anything?" Joanna asked.
"No. That was the worst part. Neither of us said a word. We just lay there in the dark, pretending we weren't both thinking about what had happened on the rug an hour earlier."
"God, I would have died," Cassie said, pressing a hand to her chest. "The tension alone would have killed me."
"It was killing me. I was lying there, staring at the ceiling, and I was so keyed up I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. I remember thinking 'this is the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my entire life' and simultaneously 'I don't want this moment to ever end.'"
"That's so messed up," Alyssa said, but her voice was awed.
"Messed up is exactly the right word. He was down there on his little blanket nest, and I was up there in his bed, which smelled like him. I could smell him on the pillowcase. It was the most intoxicating thing I'd ever experienced and I couldn't do anything about it."
She waited a beat, letting them imagine the scene.
"And then the heater died."