Chapter 9: The Unfinished Hunger
Mia's eyes snapped open in the pitch black. For a disorienting second she didn't know where she was, her body heavy and warm, the air thick with the smell of whiskey, sex, and Jake. The ghost of his mouth still pulsed between her thighs, a phantom ache that made her clench around nothing.
She was pressed against his chest, his arm a solid band around her waist, his breath slow and even against the back of her neck. Every muscle in her body felt like it had been wrung out and hung to dry. Her skin was tacky with dried sweat, the sheets beneath her damp and tangled.
She lay there, heart hammering, replaying it all in her head. The way his tongue had circled her clit with maddening patience. The way he'd moaned against her like she was the one devouring him. The way she'd come undone beneath him, not once, not twice, but until she'd lost count, her fingers fisted in his hair, her heels digging into his shoulders.
And then his cock, heavy and thick and slicked with her spit, hitting the back of her throat as she'd taken him deeper than she'd ever taken anyone. The way he'd shuddered, the low broken sound he'd made when he came, the bitter salt flooding her mouth as she swallowed every drop.
But even after all that. Even after she'd tasted him and he'd made her see stars, she still hadn't felt him inside her.
The thought sent a fresh wave of heat through her body, and she had to press her thighs together to stifle the ache. She was sore, raw, and yet somehow still starving.
Carefully, she eased out from under his arm. He stirred, muttering something unintelligible, but didn't wake. She found her phone on the floor, screen glowing like a beacon in the darkness.
The time read 3:47 AM. The room was pitch black, the snow outside muffling every sound except the low howl of the wind against the window. She should have gone back to sleep. She should have curled back into his warmth and let the night end on that perfect, tender note.
Instead, she opened her messages.
Mia: you awake
The reply came almost instantly.
Lucy: who the fuck is this?
Mia snorted softly, clapping a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. She glanced at Jake's sleeping form, making sure she hadn't stirred him, before typing back.
Mia: shut up. it's me
Lucy: ohhhh it's 4am and you're texting me from the snowpocalypse love nest. SPILL EVERYTHING. did you fuck him?
Mia stared at the screen, her pulse kicking up. The word still felt too big, too final. She bit her lip and started typing, the words tumbling out faster than she could think.
Mia: not exactly. but god lucy. god.
Lucy: NOT EXACTLY?? what does that even mean. either his dick was in you or it wasn't
Mia: it's more complicated than that
Lucy: more complicated?! Bull shit! either his dick was in you or it wasn't. So did or did you not?
Mia's thumbs hovered over the keyboard, her mind a swamp of half-formed words. She could picture Lucy's face on the other end of the line, probably sitting up in her sorority bed, eyes wide, phone clutched in both hands like a lifeline.
Before Mia could answer, three dots appeared. Then another message.
Lucy: ok rewind. the last text you sent me was you were in the bathroom. you said and I quote "i just shoved a finger inside myself while thinking about him." that was YESTERDAY. now it's 4am and you're telling me his dick was NOT in you?
Mia let out a shaky breath. The bathroom felt like a lifetime ago. A different girl had stood on that cold linoleum, trembling, desperate, too scared to admit what she actually wanted. That girl felt like a stranger now.
She typed, deleted, typed again.
Mia: ok so. after that we had breakfast. Frozen waffles.
Lucy:Frozen waffles...
You're telling me you ate frozen waffles while your best friend—who you've known for years—is walking around with a cock big enough to make you text me at four in the morning, and you just sat there eating waffles?
Mia bit her lip, heat rising to her cheeks even in the dark. She could hear Lucy's voice in her head, sharp and disbelieving, and she couldn't blame her.
Mia: we had mimosas too
Lucy: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. DETAILS. NOW. START FROM THE TOP AND DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ANYTHING OUT
Mia: ok ok. so we were drinking. playing this game where we ask each other questions. like truth or dare but just truth
Lucy: uh huh
Mia: and he told me he likes slow sex. like really slow. focused on the other person
Lucy: green flag. continue
Mia: and I told him I want to both be completely consumed and completely consume.
Lucy: oh my god you're both hopeless. when did you kiss
Mia's heart did a little skip. Her thumbs moved before she could second-guess herself.
Mia: we were still playing the game. I don't even remember the questions, but they were pretty good.
Lucy: pretty good?
Mia: the kind that make you look at your best friend and realize you've been an idiot for four years
Lucy: FINALLY. go on
Mia: eventually he got a bit of a chub after some of the questions. he didn't even try to hide it. just sat there with his hand on his thigh like it was the most normal thing in the world
Lucy: a BIT of a chub. mia. I've seen this man in the athletic center. there is no "bit" about it
Mia: ok fine. it was very visible. he was wearing those gray sweats and it was just... there. big and thick and pointing right at me like a compass
Lucy: I'M SCREAMING
Mia: and I asked if he had anything harder than champagne
Lucy: ohhhh he did NOT
Mia: he did. whiskey.
The words sat there on the screen, glowing in the dark. Mia stared at them, her thumb hovering over the keyboard. The next part was still lodged in her throat, half-formed and dangerous.
She glanced at Jake's sleeping form, the sheets pooled around his waist, his bare back rising and falling in the dim light. Her eyes traced the broad line of his shoulders, the dip of his spine, the way the blanket barely covered the curve of his ass.
A fresh pulse of heat rolled through her.
She looked back at her phone. Her thumbs moved, then stopped. Moved, then stopped.
The memory surfaced without warning: the way he'd looked when he stood up to get the whiskey. From the floor, the bulge had been mostly hidden, just a soft swell in his gray sweats that she'd convinced herself she was imagining. But when he'd risen, the fabric had shifted, and the outline of him had been unmistakable. Long. Thick. Already half-hard, curving against his thigh like it was trying to escape.
She'd nearly choked on her mimosa.
Mia: ok so this is the part where I have to tell you something and you can't judge me
Lucy: I'm legally and morally obligated to judge you. that's the whole point of being your best friend
Mia: when he was sitting I barely saw anything. just a little bump. I thought I was making it up.
Lucy: and?
Mia's pulse hammered. She typed fast, before she could lose her nerve.
Mia: and when he stood up to get the whiskey I was on the floor and it was right there in my face. half hard and it was the biggest thing I've ever seen in real life. like it should be illegal to have that in your pants during a snowstorm. I could see the vein running along the side and the way the head was already leaking through his sweats. I nearly choked. I probably would have if I wasn't already on my knees.
Lucy: .......
Lucy: I'm going to need you to be more specific. how big are we talking? like beer can? forearm? actual human arm?
Mia: like I don't have a measuring tape but I had to look away because I was literally getting wet just looking at it. through his SWEATPANTS. I've never had that happen before
Lucy: oh you're down bad. you're DOWN DOWN
Mia: I know.
Lucy: ok WAIT. you said half hard? half? so what happened when he was actually full?
Mia swallowed. Her thighs pressed together under the sheets, and for a moment she had to close her eyes. The memory of him thick and heavy on her tongue, the way he'd swelled when he came, the way she'd had to relax her jaw just to keep him there— A shudder ran through her, and she realized she was squeezing her thighs together hard enough to ache.
She shook her head, clearing it, and typed.
She shook her head, clearing it, and typed.
Mia: I'm not answering that. not yet. you'll get there
Lucy: I HATE YOU
Mia: after the whiskey he came back down to the floor with me. sat right next to me. close enough that I could feel the heat coming off him. and the questions got... full on erotic
Mia: full on erotic
Lucy: FULL ON EROTIC. I'm already on the edge of my seat. WHAT WAS THE QUESTION
Mia: ok so one of them was "what are your orgasms like"
Lucy: oh my GOD. and what did he say. if he said something stupid like "earth shattering" I'm going to break into that dorm and beat you both with a snow shovel
Mia: no. he said...
Mia's thumbs hovered, her heart thudding as she remembered the way he'd said it. Not bragging, not performing. Just stating a fact, those hazel eyes holding hers like he wanted to see exactly what it did to her.
Mia: he said "like a goddamn man" and laughed. a raw, unguarded sound. and then he said "I shoot ropes. not a dribble, not a leak. real volume, the kind that lands on her stomach, her tits, sometimes her chin if she's on her knees and doesn't pull away in time"
Lucy: WHAT THE FUCK
Mia: he held my gaze the whole time. unflinching. said "every time. like a man should." Like a god damn man should! Lucy that's what he said!
Lucy: I need a minute. I need to lie down. I need to reevaluate everything I thought I knew about your "goofy little best friend"
Mia: he's not so little
Lucy: STOP. I'm already dead. you killed me. I'm texting you from heaven
Mia: sorry
Lucy: don't be sorry. be detailed. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
Mia's throat tightened. She glanced at Jake again, at the slow rise and fall of his back, at the way his hand had curled into the pillow like he was still holding onto something. The phantom weight of his arm around her waist made her shiver.
She started typing.
She started typing.
Mia: we were still on the floor together. the whiskey bottle between us. and I could feel the heat coming off him like a furnace. I was so wet I thought I was going to soak through my sweats.
Lucy: I'm already deceased but continue
Mia: and then he whispered "god help me"
Mia: and I told him god wasn't there. I said "it's just you and me and this room. and I'm so fucking tired of asking questions"
Lucy: MIA. MIA. I need you to know that I am literally sitting up in bed right now with my hand over my mouth. My roommate is going to kill me. I don't care. KEEP GOING. What did he do? Did he kiss you? Did he finally shut up and put that monster to use?
Mia: he moved or I moved or both of us moved, it doesn't matter. we just climbed into each other's laps and kissed. like properly kissed. the kind of kiss that makes you understand why people write poems about it. we could have crushed diamonds between our abs. I'm not kidding. it was that intense
Lucy: crushed diamonds between your ABS. I'm crying. you're both disgusting and I love you
Mia: and then he picked me up. like actually picked me up off the floor and carried me to the bed. he's so strong lucy. like it was nothing. just scooped me up like I weighed nothing and set me down on the mattress so gently it made my chest hurt
Lucy: okay so he's huge downstairs AND he's strong AND he's gentle? the trifecta. I'm never letting you complain about men again
Mia: shut up. there's more
Lucy: THERE'S MORE. OF COURSE THERE'S MORE. TELL ME
Mia: he ended up eating me out. like. properly. back to back orgasms. I lost count of how many times I came but the first two were so close together it was like one long one. I almost crushed his head with my thighs
Lucy: OH MY GOD. MIA. YOU ALMOST KILLED HIM WITH YOUR THIGHS. that's not a complaint that's a eulogy. I'm so proud of you. wait. BACK TO BACK? like he just kept going? didn't stop for air or water or a moment of silent reflection?
Mia: he didn't stop. he barely came up for air. just kept his mouth on me the whole time. his tongue was so focused. and he moaned against me like he was the one getting eaten out
Lucy: I'm deceased. I'm literally a ghost typing this. you found a man who ENJOYS it. a man who treats pussy like a five course meal. and he's been your best friend this whole time? how did neither of you notice this sooner
Mia: I don't know. I'm an idiot. we're both idiots.
Lucy: okay but here's the real question. THE question. you said "not exactly" earlier. so what happened after? did he fuck you? because if he ate you out like a starved man and then DIDN'T put it in, I'm going to riot
Mia's thumbs hovered. The ache between her thighs pulsed, a fresh wave of want that made her squeeze her legs together. She stared at the screen, at Lucy's question, and felt the weight of the truth settle into her chest.
Mia: I was on cloud nine. I levitated off the bed and I told him I was going to suck his dick.
Lucy: you WHAT
Mia: I had to see it. I had to taste it. after everything he'd just done to me with his mouth, I needed him in mine. I think I said something like "my turn" and just... dropped to my knees.
Lucy: MIA. MIA. you're telling me you went from being eaten out until you couldn't see straight to immediately returning the favor? that's the most power move I've ever heard in my LIFE
Mia: it wasn't a power move. it was hunger. pure animal hunger. I couldn't think. I could only feel.
Lucy: okay okay okay. so you dropped to your knees. then what. describe it to me like I'm there.
Mia's thighs clenched under the sheets. She could feel the ghost of him on her tongue, the weight of him, the stretch of her jaw. She typed faster.
Mia: he was already hard when I got down there. like fully hard. straining against his sweats. and I just... I pulled them down and it sprang free and lucy.
Lucy: AND?
Mia: it's perfect. that's the only word I have for it. thick and long and curving slightly upward. the head was flushed dark and already leaking. there was a vein running along the underside that I wanted to trace with my tongue. and the weight of it. I wrapped my hand around the base and my fingers didn't even come close to meeting.
Lucy: I'm going to pass away. I'm going to literally pass away. what did you do first
Mia: I licked the tip. just one slow stripe up the underside, from the base to the head, and he made this sound like I'd punched him in the gut. and then I took him in my mouth.
Lucy: AND?
Mia: and he filled me completely. I had to relax my jaw and breathe through my nose but I took him. all of him. my nose was buried in the hair at his base and I could feel him hitting the back of my throat and I just... I stayed there. I wanted to feel him twitch.
Lucy: I'M CALLING THE POLICE. YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT. I'M IN MY SORORITY BED AND I'M SWEATING
Mia: he tasted like salt and musk and him. and he was so warm. I could feel his heartbeat in my mouth. I could feel his whole body trembling. he kept saying my name like a prayer.
Lucy: and you deep throated him? you actually did it?
Mia: I did. I opened my throat and took him all the way down. and when he came I swallowed every drop. I didn't waste a single one.
Lucy: MIA. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. but also. you said "not exactly" when I asked if you fucked him. and you just told me you deep throated him like a champion. so I'm asking again. DID. HE. FUCK. YOU?
Mia stared at the screen. The word sat there in the dark like a live wire. She could hear Jake's breathing slow and steady behind her, the rustle of sheets as he shifted in his sleep. She could feel the phantom stretch between her thighs, the ache that hadn't been filled, the hunger that had only grown sharper.
Her thumbs moved.
Mia: no.
Lucy: WHAT
Lucy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO. YOU JUST TOLD ME YOU DEEP THROATED HIM LIKE A TROPHY HUNT. HOW DO YOU DO THAT AND NOT FINISH THE JOB
Mia: I know. I know. it just happened. after he came I pulled off and he kissed me. like really kissed me. soft and slow and I melted. we just fell into the bed and he held me and we fell asleep.
Lucy: so you're telling me. the man of your goddamn dreams. the best friend you've had a crush on for God knows how long. the guy with the illegal weapon in his sweatpants. ate you out until you saw god. let you deep throat him until he came down your throat. and then you both just... cuddled? and went to sleep?
Mia: when you say it like that it sounds insane.
Lucy: BECAUSE IT IS INSANE. MIA. YOU HAD HIM. HE WAS RIGHT THERE. NAKED. IN BED. AND YOU SLEPT.
Mia stared at the screen, Lucy's words burning into her retinas. *And you slept.* A hot flush crept up her neck. She could feel her own defensiveness rising, the need to explain something she didn't fully understand herself.
Mia: no. WE slept. it felt right in the moment
Lucy: don't give me that romantic bullshit. you had a naked man with a porn star cock in your bed and you chose SLEEP
Mia: you don't get it. after everything. after he made me come so many times I lost count and I swallowed every drop of him like it was the last water on earth... there was this moment. he kissed me. not like he wanted to fuck me. like he wanted to hold me forever. and I just... melted. I couldn't think about anything else. I still can't.
Lucy: okay. okay. I'm trying to be mad but that's actually kind of beautiful. in a "you're both idiots" kind of way. so what now? you're still snowed in?
Mia: yeah. probably another day at least. he's still asleep. he's so warm lucy. his arm is wrapped around me like he's afraid I'll disappear.
Lucy: so you're telling me you have another whole day. trapped in a tiny room. with the man you've been in love with for years. who already proved he can eat pussy like a champion and pack a weapon of mass destruction in his sweatpants. and you're going to waste it TYPING TO ME?
Mia: I'm not wasting it. I'm processing.
Lucy: processing. sure. okay. wait.
Lucy: WAIT. hold on. are you still naked? have you been naked this whole time?
Mia blinked at the screen. She glanced down at herself. The sheet was pooled around her waist, and below that, nothing. No shirt, no pants, no underwear. Just her bare skin, still flushed with the memory of his mouth on her, and the damp evidence of everything they'd done drying tacky against her thighs.
She'd been lying there, in his bed, in his room, completely nude, typing out her confession like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like she hadn't been broadcasting her nakedness through the tiny glow of her phone screen.
Mia: ...oh my god.
Lucy: I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT. you're naked. you're NAKED in his bed right now and you've been texting me like a normal person this whole time. MIA. how does it feel? the sheets? the skin on skin? the post-sex glow?
Mia: I don't think I have a post-sex glow. I have a post-sex... puddle.
Lucy: PUDDLE. I'm crying. you're a puddle. a naked puddle in your best friend's bed. and he's asleep. just lying there. unsuspecting. warm. naked. did I mention naked?
Mia's pulse kicked. She looked over her shoulder at Jake. The blanket had slipped lower, revealing the sharp cut of his hip, the trail of dark hair disappearing beneath the sheet. One arm was flung out, his hand curled where she'd been lying, still searching for her in his sleep.
A hot ache curled low in her belly.
Mia: he's so beautiful. is that crazy to say? I've known him for four years and I've never let myself look at him like this.
Lucy: FOUR YEARS. you've been in love with him for four years you absolute disaster
Mia: I didn't know I was! I thought I just. liked him. as a friend. liked hanging out with him. liked the way he smelled. liked the way his arm felt around my shoulders. liked the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn't watching. oh god
Lucy: YOU HAD the full syndrome. THE WHOLE THING. sweetie you were GONE. you were a goner. you were so far gone you needed a search party
Mia: stop. I'm having a crisis
Lucy: you're having a naked crisis. in his bed. at 4am. while he sleeps. and you're texting ME. you know what that means?
Mia: that I'm an idiot?
Lucy: no. well. yes. but no. it means you're still not satisfied. you're lying there naked and aching and instead of waking him up and climbing on top of him, you're typing to me like I'm your therapist. which I am. but still.
Mia stared at those words. Her heart hammered so hard she could feel it in her throat, her cunt. Lucy wasn't wrong. She was lying there, naked, the ghost of his tongue still a phantom pulse between her thighs, and she was aching. Hollow. Hungry in a way that had nothing to do with food.
She glanced at Jake again. He'd shifted in his sleep, rolled onto his back, the sheet now a thin tent over his hips. Even soft, even slack with sleep, the outline of him was unmistakable. Heavy. Thick. A promise she hadn't collected on.
Her mouth went dry.
Mia: I can see him. right now. he rolled over. the sheet is doing nothing.
Lucy: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. DESCRIBE IT. NOW
Mia: it's like. even asleep. even soft. it's this. shape. this heavy curve against his thigh. I can see the outline of the head pressing against the fabric. lucy I'm going to lose my mind.
Lucy: then WAKE HIM UP. Mia. WAKE. HIM. UP. he already ate you out like a man dying of thirst. he already let you deep throat him until he came down your throat. you think he's going to say no to sliding inside that wet tight pussy? you think he's going to be like "no thanks I'm tired"? WAKE HIM UP
Mia: it's not that simple
Lucy: IT IS EXACTLY THAT SIMPLE. you want him. he wants you. you're both naked. you're both snowed in. and you've been dancing around each other for FOUR YEARS. the only thing standing between you and that monster cock is your own indecision. so decide. right now. do you want him inside you or not?
The question hit her like a punch to the gut. Her thighs clenched involuntarily, a fresh wave of slick heat flooding her. Yes. God, yes. She could feel it in every cell of her body, the phantom stretch, the imagined weight of him filling her, splitting her open, claiming her in a way his mouth hadn't quite managed.
Her thumbs moved before she could stop them.
Mia: yes. I want it. I want him inside me so bad I can't think straight. I've been lying here for the past hour replaying it all and it's not enough. it's not ENOUGH. I need to feel him. I need to feel every inch of him pushing into me. I need to know what he feels like when he comes inside me instead of down my throat. I need him to fuck me lucy. I need it so bad I'm shaking.
She hit send and stared at the screen, breathless. The confession hung there in the digital dark, raw and unfiltered. She felt exposed in a way that had nothing to do with her nakedness.
Her phone buzzed, jolting her from the spiral.
Lucy: then what are you waiting for? wake him up. put that mouth to work again. or better yet, climb on top and ride him until he forgets his own name.
Mia: I can't just... do that. he's sleeping.
Lucy: he's SLEEPING. mia. he's sleeping NAKED next to you after eating you out for an hour. you think he's going to be mad about a wake up call? and not the good kind? be so serious right now.
Mia stared at the screen, her heart pounding. She looked over at Jake again, and her breath caught.
He'd shifted once more in his sleep, rolling onto his back fully, the sheet slipping dangerously low on his hips. But that wasn't what made her freeze.
The tent in the sheet had grown.
It wasn't the soft, heavy curve from before. It was a rigid, unmistakable peak, the fabric stretched taut over a shape that made her mouth water. Even in sleep, even without a conscious thought in his head, his body was responding. Swelling. Rising. Thickening against his thigh until the outline of him was obscene, the head pressing against the cotton like it was trying to break free.
Mia: oh my god
Lucy: what. WHAT. mia what's happening
Mia's thumbs flew across the screen, her eyes glued to the sight.
Mia: he's getting hard. in his sleep. I'm watching it happen right now. the sheet is like a tent lucy. there's no hiding it anymore. it's pushing up so high I can see the shape of the head through the fabric
Lucy: grab it.
Mia blinked at the words.
Mia: what
Lucy: GRAB IT. you heard me. reach over and wrap your hand around it. he'll wake up. and he won't be mad. trust me. no man on earth wakes up to a hand on his cock and complains.
Mia's pulse hammered so hard she felt dizzy. Her hand trembled as she set the phone down, face up, the screen still glowing. She could see Lucy's message staring up at her like a dare.
Grab it.
She looked at Jake. His chest rose and fell in slow, deep breaths. His lips were slightly parted. His brow was smooth, peaceful. And the sheet over his hips was practically vibrating with the tension of his erection, straining upward, thick and long and impossibly hard.
She swallowed.
Slowly, she reached out.
His shoulder was warm beneath her palm, the muscle solid and heavy with sleep. She felt him stir, a soft murmur escaping his lips, and then his eyes blinked open in the darkness, hazy and unfocused.
"Mia?" His voice was rough, confused. "What's wrong?"
She didn't answer right away. She just looked at him, at the way the faint glow from her phone caught the planes of his face, the way his eyes were slowly sharpening with awareness. Her hand was still on his shoulder, and she felt the tension in him ease as he registered her expression.
"Nothing's wrong," she whispered. "I just... I couldn't sleep."
His gaze drifted down to her phone, then back to her face. "You okay?"
She shook her head. "I keep thinking about it. All of it. And I keep thinking about what we didn't do."
The words hung in the air between them. She saw the exact moment he understood, the way his breath caught, the way his eyes darkened. The tent in the sheet hadn't gone down. If anything, it had grown more pronounced, straining toward her like it had a mind of its own.
"I didn't want to presume," he said slowly, his voice low. "After everything. I thought maybe you needed time."
"I've had four years of time," she said. "I don't want any more."
She leaned in and kissed him, soft and searching, and he answered with a hunger that made her stomach flip. His hand found her waist, pulling her closer, and she felt the heat of him against her thigh, thick and insistent.
"I want you inside me," she breathed against his lips. "I want to feel you. All of you."
His answer was a groan, and then his hands were on her hips, guiding her up, settling her over him as the sheet fell away.