Chapter 13: More room for Rose
The next morning, I take Lucy and Marcus to school before heading to the office. As soon as I sit down at my desk, I get a call from Maria on my cell phone.
I answer it with a cheerful “Hey, Maria. What’s up?”
“Oh, nothing much,” she replies, her voice casual. “I was just calling to see if you could meet me for lunch today. I have something to show you.”
I raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “Sure, Maria. Where do you want to meet?”
“How about that new deli on 5th Avenue? The one with the good sandwiches?”
“Sounds good,” I say. “I’ll see you there at 12:30?”
“Perfect. Do I have to pickup Marcus after work?” I ask.
“No, don’t worry about that. My mom is planning on visiting later this week, so she’ll be picking him up today. I just need you to sign some papers today to authorize her as a temporary guardian,” Maria says.
“Got it. I’ll make sure to do that before lunch,” I assure her.
“Great. See you soon, Jim,” Maria says before hanging up.
I sit back in my chair, a sense of unease washing over me. I can’t shake the feeling that Maria is up to something, but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.
I shake my head, trying to clear the foggy thoughts, and turn my attention back to the pile of papers on my desk. I've got a mountain of work to get through before lunch, and I need to focus.
A few hours later, I'm sitting across from Maria at the deli, a turkey sandwich on rye in front of me. Maria has a salad, but she hasn't touched it yet. She's just sitting there, smiling at me like the Cheshire Cat.
"So, what's this big secret you wanted to show me?" I ask, taking a bite of my sandwich.
Maria leans in, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, first of all, I need to apologize for the other day," she says, her voice low and conspiratorial.
I raise an eyebrow, intrigued. "Apologize for what?"
Maria leans back in her chair, a smug smile on her face. "For noticing your... *ahem*... unique fashion sense."
I nearly choke on my food, coughing to clear my throat. "What do you mean?" I ask, trying to play it cool.
Maria chuckles, taking a sip of her water.
"Come on, Jim. I'm not blind. I know what I saw. And let me tell you, it was... intriguing."
I feel my cheeks flush, my heart pounding in my chest. "Maria, I don't know what you're talking about," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
She leans in again, her voice dropping to a whisper. "Look, I'm not judging. In fact, I think it's kind of hot. But I need to know, Jim. Are you... is there something you want to tell me?"
I take a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts.
This is not a conversation I expected to have with Maria, and I'm not sure how to handle it. But I also know that I can't just ignore her questions.
"Maria, I... I don't know what you think you saw, but I can assure you that there's nothing to see. I was just... experimenting with my fashion choices," I say, trying to keep my voice casual.
Maria tilts her head, a look of disbelief on her face. "Jim, come on. I've known you for years, and I've never seen you dress like that. And let's not forget the makeup and the...
nail polish. You can't tell me that was just a fashion experiment."
I sigh, knowing that I can't keep up this charade forever. I take a deep breath and decide to come clean.
"Alright, Maria. You caught me. I... I have a secret. Something I've never told anyone before. Something I'm not even sure I understand myself."
Maria's eyes widen with surprise, but she doesn't interrupt me. She just leans in, eager to hear what I have to say.
"I've always had this... feeling, this urge, to express myself in a way that's more feminine.
I don't know why, and I don't know where it comes from, but it's there. And sometimes, I need to let it out. I need to let Rose out," I confess, my voice barely above a whisper.
Maria stares at me, her eyes wide with shock and disbelief. After what feels like an eternity, she finally speaks. "Jim... I had no idea. I mean, I knew something was different, but... I never imagined..." She trails off, shaking her head in disbelief.
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "I know it's hard to understand. Hell, I barely understand it myself.
But it's who I am, and I can't deny it any longer."
Maria sits back in her chair, her mind racing. She looks at Jim, her eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and concern. "Jim, I... I don't know what to say. I had no idea you were going through this. But I want you to know that I support you. Whatever you need, I'm here for you."
Jim feels a wave of relief wash over him. He hadn't expected Maria to be so understanding, but he was grateful for her support. "Thank you, Maria. That means a lot to me.
I wanted to know if what you saw influenced your decision to involve your mother in caring for Marcus while you are busy with your husband’s mother.”
She smiled, shaking her head. “Not at all. I’ve always planned on having my mom come visit.
I nodded, understanding her situation. “I see. Well, I’m sorry that you’re going through this, Maria.”
She shrugged. “It’s alright. We’ll get there eventually. So, how about you? How’s everything with you and your family?”
I hesitated for a moment before answering. “Things are good.
Really good actually,” I say with a soft smile. “We’re expecting a baby in a few months.”
Maria’s eyes widen in surprise. “Wow, Jim, that’s amazing! Congratulations! Who’s the lucky mom?”
“Father, you mean! 😂 Who do you think it could be?”
Jim asks, a playful smile on his face.
Maria raises an eyebrow, trying to conceal her surprise. “Well, I didn’t realize you were into polyamory, Jim. But good for you! Who is it?”
Jim chuckles, enjoying the game. “Actually, it’s a bit of a modern family situation. My wife, Pam, and I have been together for a long time. And recently, we’ve invited someone new into our lives. Her name is Kate.”
Maria’s mouth forms an ‘O’ of surprise. “Kate? The new employee at the office? The trans woman?”
Jim nods.
“The one and only. She’s an amazing woman, and she’s brought so much joy and light into our lives. We’re all really happy together.”
Maria looks at Jim, her eyes flashing with a mix of surprise and curiosity. “Wow, Jim. That’s... that’s incredible. I mean, I knew you and Pam were happy, and I’ve seen the way Kate looks at you, but I had no idea it was all... interconnected like that.”
Jim smiles, his eyes softening as he thinks about his family. “It’s not something we advertise, obviously.
“Jim was happy. But Rose wasn’t!” Jim blurted out.
“Jim, his voice filled with concern, “What do you mean Rose isn’t happy?”
Maria’s brows furrowed, “I don’t understand. You just said everything was good between you and Pam and Kate. So, what’s the problem?”
Jim sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s complicated, Maria. I’m happy with Pam and Kate, don’t get me wrong. But there’s a part of me, Rose, that feels left out sometimes. She wants more than just casual outings and secret trysts. She wants to be seen, to be acknowledged.
She wants to be a part of our family, not just a dirty little secret."
Maria's expression softened, her eyes filled with understanding. "I see. So, this is about Rose needing to be heard and seen, not just tolerated or accepted in secret."
Jim nodded, a mixture of pain and relief in his eyes. He was grateful that Maria understood, but the truth still hurt to say out loud.
Maria reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Jim's. "I think I understand, Jim. And I think you're right. Rose deserves to be seen, to be acknowledged. She's a part of you, after all.
She deserves to be heard and acknowledged," Maria said softly, her hand still resting on top of Jim's.
Jim looked down at their hands, a lump forming in his throat. He had never talked about this with anyone before, and the weight of it all suddenly became too much. He took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over.
Maria squeezed his hand, her expression filled with empathy.
“Thank you, Maria. It means a lot to me. You'll be at Lucy's birthday party, right? You have to accompany Marcus.”
Maria nodded, “Of course. I’ll make sure she’s there with bells on. Thanks for the invite, Jim.”
Jim smiled, “No problem. We’re all excited to celebrate Lucy’s big day.”
Maria stood up to leave, but before she did, she looked at Jim with a serious expression. “Hey, about what we talked about earlier… promise me you’ll think about what I said. Rose deserves to be seen, Jim. You deserve to be seen.”
Jim nodded, feeling a mix of gratitude and trepidation. “I will, Maria.
But you shouldn't think that Kat and Pam are getting in the way! Oh, they're crazy about Rose! I'm the one who's going slowly. But Rose will have her own space soon!”
Jim blurted out. “She’s going to have her own room, and we’ll be decorating it together. Maybe we could even paint it pink, like she likes.”
Maria smiled, her eyes softening. “That sounds wonderful, Jim. I’m really happy for you and your family. You deserve this, all of you. And I’m glad that Rose is finally getting the recognition she deserves.”
Jim smiled back, grateful for Maria’s support. “Thanks, Maria. And I promise, I’ll think about everything we talked about.