Cover of haha funy segs pt.4

haha funy segs pt.4

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ha ha ha again!

Chapter 8: 1.2.1

The gaslights hissed, casting long, juddering shadows across the ring. They made specters of the men lining the pit, their faces carved from tobacco smoke and cheap ambition. In the center, breathing the thick air of sawdust and anticipation, Koen rolled his shoulders. The weight of his brass knuckles—custom-made, etched with dampening runes so the cheers upstairs wouldn’t hear the demonic crackle of his full power—was a comforting anchor.

His opponent tonight was a mountain named Brask, a troll-blood with a ridge of bone spanning his forehead and knuckles that scraped the floor. Brask grinned, showing teeth like broken tombstones. The crowd, a mosaic of overcoats and gleaming eyes, murmured with greedy approval.

The bell, a dull iron clang, was swallowed by the roar.

Koen moved first. Not with brute force, but with the liquid grace of a predator cutting through tall grass. He ducked under a swing that could have decapitated a horse, the wind of it stirring his ashen hair. His reply was a piston-fast jab to the kidney, then a swift, shattering cross to the troll-blood’s elbow. Bone snapped, a dry, sickening pop. Brask bellowed, more in rage than pain.

“C’mon, big guy,” Koen murmured, his orange eyes catching the low light like banked coals. “Naptime.”

The next minutes were a study in controlled violence. Koen was a phantom, slipping past grabs, using Brask’s own momentum to send him crashing into the wooden barrier. The crowd screamed, a sound like tearing metal. They didn’t see the technique, only the spectacle: the smaller, freckled half-demon dismantling a giant. A bottle shattered against the ring post. Koen didn’t flinch.

He saw the change in Brask’s eyes—the tactical shift from winning to maiming. The troll-blood feinted left, then spat a glob of acidic phlegm. It sizzled through the air. Koen twisted, but the edge of it caught his bare forearm. The skin blistered and blackened instantly, the acid eating down to the tendon. The crowd gasped, a unified intake of breath.

Koen glanced at the wound. He smiled, a sharp, canine-revealing grin.

He held his arm up for the crowd to see. Then, as they watched, the blackened flesh sloughed away. New, pink skin wove itself over the muscle, seamless and whole, in the span of ten heartbeats. A stunned silence fell, broken only by the hiss of the gaslights.

“Fire I like,” Koen said, turning back to a horrified Brask. “Acid’s just rude.”

He charged. The final blow was a rising uppercut that lifted Brask off his feet, the runed brass knuckles connecting with a sound like a gong. The troll-blood landed in a heap, unconscious, his breath a wet rattle.

The noise returned, a wave of fervent, bloody approval. Hands reached for Koen, patting his back, clutching at his sweat-damp shirt. He pushed through them, a cordial but firm dismissal in his posture. A woman in a feathered headdress winked, sliding a room key across the barrier toward him. He ignored it, his eyes already scanning the murky edges of the pit.

Gabriel waited in the archway leading to the back rooms, leaning against the damp brick wall as if it were beneath him. Which, cosmically, it was. He’d shed his overcoat, his blonde hair perfectly in place, his lean frame sheathed in a tailored suit that cost more than the night’s take. To the crowd, he was Mr. Valenti, the unflappable agent. His cold blue eyes tracked Koen’s approach, missing nothing.

“The regeneration stunt was theatrical,” Gabriel said, his voice a low counterpoint to the fading roar. “A bit gauche.”

“He spat acid at me, Gabe,” Koen said, his fight-intensity melting away into something softer, more exasperated. He accepted a grimy towel from a runner and wiped his face. “All bets are off.”

Gabriel’s lips twitched. He reached out, not with affection—they had rules here—but to adjust the collar of Koen’s fighting shirt, his fingers brushing the tan skin of his neck for a fraction too long. “You’re bleeding above your eyebrow. Again.”

“It’ll be gone in a minute.”

“It’s the principle. You look messy.” Gabriel’s gaze flickered over Koen’s shoulder, where the promoter, a sweaty man named Silas, was weaving toward them through the crowd, his eyes shining with dollar signs. “And we have company.”

Silas clapped a heavy hand on Koen’s back. “Another stellar performance, Delano! The crowd eats it up. They love a devil who looks pretty.”

Koen stiffened, the casual slur landing with the weight of a thousand just like it. Gabriel’s expression didn’t change, but the air around him grew several degrees colder.

“What do you want, Silas?” Gabriel asked, his tone polite poison.

“The Vesuvian Club. Upstairs. They saw the fight. They want a private match next week.” Silas’s voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “Double your usual purse. No rules. Just you and a ‘specially acquired opponent.’ Their words.”

Gabriel didn’t blink. “The Vesuvian caters to a particular palate. Their ‘acquired opponents’ tend to be feral, or enchanted. Or both.”

“Triple the purse,” Silas pressed, smelling Koen’s reluctance.

Koen looked at Gabriel. A micro-shift of his shoulder, a slight tilt of his head. A question. Gabriel gave an almost imperceptible nod. They had a system.

“I’ll think about it,” Koen said, his voice flat.

Silas’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t think too long. Pretty things like you have a shelf life, even with your… talents.” He patted Koen’s cheek.

Koen’s hand shot up, catching Silas’s wrist before it could make contact. His grip was gentle, but the promise in it was absolute. The bones in Silas’s wrist creaked. “Don’t,” Koen said, his orange eyes glowing faintly in the gloom.

Silas paled, snatching his hand back. He muttered something and melted back into the throng.

The moment the promoter was gone, the tension bled from Koen’s frame. He leaned his forehead against the cool brick next to Gabriel. “I hate that guy.”

“He’s a vespid in a cheap suit. Ignore him.” Gabriel paused. “The Vesuvian offer is troubling.”

“But triple pay.”

“Your inability to conceive of a scenario where money isn’t the solution to every problem is both endearing and profoundly idiotic.” Gabriel pushed off the wall. “We’re leaving. Your adrenaline is crashing and you’re about to become maudlin.”

The back alley behind the club was a cathedral of neglect, all dripping fire escapes and overflowing trash bins. The night air was a cold slap after the pit’s humidity. Koen shivered, and immediately, Gabriel’s overcoat was around his shoulders, still warm from his body.

“You’ll get cold,” Koen protested half-heartedly, already burying his nose in the fine wool. It smelled like Gabriel—ozone and expensive sandalwood.

“Archangel, darling. Thermodynamics is a suggestion.” Gabriel lit a cigarette with a snap of his fingers, the flame dancing gold on his fingertips for a second before vanishing. “You did well in there. Despite the theatrics.”

“You were watching the whole time?”

“From the balcony. It was… educational.” Gabriel exhaled a plume of smoke. “The woman in the feathered headdress. The key she slid. You didn’t even glance at it.”

Koen flushed, the freckles across his nose standing out. “Wasn’t my type.”

“Her gender wasn’t the disqualifying factor, as I recall your type being notably flexible.” Gabriel’s voice was casual, but his eyes were sharp. “You’re being careful.”

“You told me to be.” Koen nudged him with his shoulder. “Said it’d cause a ‘cosmic scandal’ if the mighty Archangel Gabriel was revealed to be shacking up with a half-demon pit fighter.”

“A gross oversimplification, but yes.” Gabriel flicked the cigarette away. “It’s not the scandal. It’s the target it would paint on your back. My world doesn’t take kindly to… attachments. Especially not to your kind.”

“Infernal scum,” Koen recited, the old bitterness a faint echo.

“Don’t,” Gabriel said, and this time his voice held a razor’s edge of something real. “Never say that in my presence again. Even in jest.”

They walked in silence for a block, the sound of their footsteps echoing. Koen broke it, his voice quiet. “The Vesuvian thing. You think it’s a trap?”

“Everything in our world is a trap, Koen. The question is whether the cheese is worth it.” Gabriel stopped, turning to face him under a flickering streetlamp. “We’ll investigate. Discreetly. If it smells wrong, we walk. No heroic theatrics.”

“Yeah, yeah. Discretion. I’m a vault.” Koen smiled, his sharp canines glinting. “Can we get noodles? I’m starving. Fighting trolls really works up an appetite.”

Gabriel stared at him for a long moment—at the fearsome bounty hunter who could regenerate from acid burns, who sent troll-bloods crashing through barriers with his fists, now asking for noodles with the eager simplicity of a child. A softness, utterly foreign to the cold archangel the world knew, finally broke through his disciplined exterior.

He reached out, cupping Koen’s jaw, his thumb brushing over the last fading cut above his eyebrow. “You’re impossible,” he sighed, the words fond and full of weary wonder.

“But you’re buying,” Koen said, leaning into the touch for a stolen second before they broke apart, two separate figures once more stepping out of the shadows and into the gaslit glow of the city street, the weight of the offer and the warning from the pit already settling between them like a third companion.

The decision took three days. It lived in the silence between their shared meals, in the way Koen stared at the cracked ceiling of their apartment, fingers drumming restlessly on his stomach. The triple purse was a number that solved problems. It meant a real clinic for the foundlings in the Fringe Districts, new gear that wouldn’t jam, maybe even a quiet month where Gabriel didn’t have to meticulously forge ledgers to hide his celestial nature from mortal tax collectors.

“It’s just another fight,” Koen said on the third evening, pushing his noodles around his bowl. The steam fogged his sharp features.

“The Vesuvian isn’t a fighting club. It’s a tasting room.” Gabriel didn’t look up from his book, but the page hadn’t turned in an hour. “Their currency isn’t victory. It’s degradation. You understand the difference.”

“I can handle degradation.”

The book snapped shut. “That is precisely what I am afraid of.” Gabriel’s blue eyes were Arctic winters. “Your resilience is not a challenge, Koen. It’s a vulnerability to them. They see something unbreakable and invest solely in finding the torque required to snap it.”

“So I’m a dumb rock.” Koen shrugged, a failed attempt at nonchalance. “Let ‘em try. I walk out with their money. We help the kids. Simple.”

Nothing was ever simple. Gabriel knew this in his divine bones. But he also saw the stubborn set of Koen’s jaw, the way his orange eyes held a rare, focused glint. This wasn’t just the money. It was the principle after Silas’s veiled threats about shelf life, after a lifetime of being called ‘pretty’ as an insult. A need to prove his agency in a world that granted him none.

“If you do this,” Gabriel said, each word a stone laid carefully between them, “I cannot enter with you. The Vesuvian’s wards are… specific. They filter out higher celestial signatures. A security measure against divine interference.”

Koen blinked. “You’d wait outside?”

“I would wait here.” Gabriel corrected, his voice tight. “They will scan for associates, for anchors. My presence in the vicinity would disqualify you, or worse, trigger a response. You walk in alone.”

The air in their small kitchen grew thick. Koen absorbed this. He was used to Gabriel’s watching presence, his cool analysis from the shadows. This was a void. “Okay,” he finally said, the word too small for the space it had to fill.

“You will be alert. You will refuse any drink, any substance not sealed in your sight. You will leave the second the match is over. No post-fight revelry. No ‘being polite’.” Gabriel stood, the movement fluid and tense. “Do not make me regret this.”

The night of the match arrived, cloaked in a cold, drizzling fog. Koen dressed in simple fighting trunks and a loose linen shirt, his usual gear. Gabriel stood by the door, a statue of repressed energy.

“Check in,” Gabriel said, not a request.

“How? Smoke signals?”

“The pendant. Three touches if you’re clear. Two if you need an exit. One if you are compromised.” It was a small, obsidian chip on a leather cord, hanging against Koen’s sternum. A sliver of Gabriel’s grace, inert and dormant until activated. A celestial panic button.

Koen nodded, his usual pre-fight bravado notably absent. He looked young. “I’ll be back for breakfast.”

“See that you are.”

The walk to the Vesuvian was a descent. The building was a sleek, black marble tumor grafted onto the city’s old brick ribs. No signage, just a single, polished chromium door. A man in a jacket that cost more than Koen’s life expectancy greeted him with a silent, scanning glance. A thin, buzzing wand passed over him; it hummed angrily at the obsidian pendant but quieted after a second, presumably registering it as mundane jewelry. He was waved inside.

The air changed. It was warm, perfumed with something expensive and slightly narcotic. The lighting was a low, golden glow, illuminating plush lounges and the gleam of crystal. The crowd here didn’t roar. They murmured. They observed. Their eyes tracked Koen with the appraisal of gourmands viewing a new course.

Silas was there, sweating profusely in this refined atmosphere. “Delano! They’re ready. This way.”

He was led not to a pit, but to a circular room with white, padded floors and walls. It was silent, soundproofed. The air smelled of antiseptic and the underlying perfume. A single, ornate chair sat in the center.

“Your opponent will be in shortly,” Silas said, avoiding his eyes. “The, uh, rules are… last one standing. Good luck.”

The door sealed with a hydraulic hiss. Koen paced, muscles coiled. He touched the pendant three times, feeling a faint, warm pulse in return against his skin. Clear.

A panel slid open. A man entered, not a troll-blood or a feral beast, but a slender figure in a tailored suit, holding two crystal coupes. He was handsome, with a calm, empty smile. “A libation before the dance? To honor the combatants.”

Koen shook his head. “No thanks.”

“The champion declines! A shame. This is a ’28 Sybarite. Enhances reflexes. Sharpens the mind.” The man placed one glass on the floor, sipped the other himself. “A gesture of goodwill, then.” He turned and left.

Koen eyed the glass. The liquid was the color of honey. It was far from him. He resumed pacing.

The ventilation system, silent until now, emitted a soft, sighing puff. Koen caught a new scent—saccharine, metallic—mingling with the perfume. He held his breath, but it was too late. His demonic metabolism, a fortress against common toxins, began its work. He felt the familiar, mild tingle of an attempted doping, his system already burning through the airborne agent.

He smirked. Amateurs.

The main door opened again. Three men and a woman entered now, all in elegant leisure wear. They carried no weapons. The man from before was with them. “It seems the atmospheric introduction was insufficient. A testament to your impressive physiology.”

One of them raised a slender device. A pressurized hiss filled the room. Not a gas, but a fine, targeted mist that coated Koen’s face and bare arms before he could react.

This was different. It hit his system like a star going supernova. It was ecstasy, yes, but molecularly forged, a synaptic sledgehammer engineered to overwhelm a demon’s hepatic furnace. The world didn’t soften; it fractured into dazzling, prismatic shards. The antiseptic white of the walls vibrated with impossible color. The sound of his own heartbeat was a symphony in his ears.

“Stronger dose,” someone said, their voice echoing down a long, velvet tunnel. “Accounted for the metabolic rate.”

Koen tried to move. His legs were liquid grace, but they wouldn't obey his commands. He took a step and stumbled, the padded floor rising to meet him with a gentle embrace. He wasn’t afraid. The chemical made fear an obsolete concept. He was magnificent, floating, a galaxy of sensation. He laughed, the sound bright and unanchored.

Hands were on him. They lifted him with practiced ease into the ornate chair. Fingers traced the lines of his shoulders, his arms. A thumb brushed his lower lip, feeling the sharp point of a canine.

“Pretty face,” a voice, genderless and warm, murmured right against his ear.

“Nice body,” another agreed, from somewhere near his hip.

The words registered as praise, feeding the drug’s euphoric cascade. He was beautiful, he was powerful, he was the center of a wonderful, admiring universe. The touch was admiration. It was reward. He leaned into it, a low, contented hum vibrating in his throat.

The linen shirt was gone, torn away with a crisp, ripping sound that seemed to stretch for minutes. Cool air washed over his tan skin, followed by the heat of palms. Brass knuckles were carefully pried from his slack fingers, set aside with a soft clink. The touches multiplied, exploratory and proprietary, mapping the topography of his physique—the hard plains of his abdomen, the corded strength of his biceps, the freckles scattered like distant constellations.

He was a specimen. A cherished object. The fight was forgotten. This was the match. This was the event.

Someone tipped a bottle of the golden Sybarite to his lips. He drank, because the liquid was the sun, sweet and warming. It mixed with the chemical fire in his veins, a confluence of obliteration. Time became a slurry of sensation: the soft crush of lips on his shoulder, the sharp, bright pain of a bite that broke the skin, the lazy, slick trail of a tongue following the blood. He moaned, arching into the nebulous contact, craving more of the brilliant, shattering feeling.

The chair was his world. The hands and mouths were its weather. He was passed, manipulated, adored. A pretty face. A nice body. The words were a mantra in the fog, winding through the symphony in his head. He was floating in a warm, golden sea where nothing existed but the next wave of exquisite feeling.

Across the city, in the quiet apartment, Gabriel stood at the window.

The obsidian pendant had gone cold and silent after the third, clear pulse. That was protocol. No news was good news.

He did not sit. He did not read. The single, practiced touch of grace he’d embedded in that chip was a thread, and he held the numb, silent end of it in his mind. He watched the slow crawl of the moon across the wet, black sky.

An hour past the estimated fight duration.

Two hours.

The quiet in the room was absolute, a vacuum. He replayed every argument, every warning. He saw the determined, stubborn light in Koen’s eyes, the vulnerability he wore like a secret under his strength.

He had calculated every variable—strength, speed, regenerative capability, known intoxicants.

He had not calculated this. The specific, human cruelty of those who see depth and seek only to make it a surface. The horror that is not violence, but consumption.

Three hours.

The thread in his mind remained dead, a slack line leading into a void. The first, fine crack appeared in the archangel’s marble composure, a fissure of pure, unadulterated dread. Something was wrong. The silence was screaming.

He was waiting. And he was beginning to understand that what would come back through their door would not be the man who had left it.

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