Chapter 8: The Morning Sickness
The first thing Cole registered was the heat. It was everywhere, pressing down on him like a weight, seeping through the sheets and wrapping around his limbs until he felt like he was drowning in it. The second thing was the nausea, rising in his throat like a tide, sudden and merciless.
He barely had time to throw the covers off before he was stumbling toward the bathroom, his hand slamming against the light switch, his knees hitting the cold marble floor. The toilet bowl was a blur in front of him, and he gripped the sides of it with white-knuckled hands as his stomach emptied itself in a violent, shuddering rush.
Behind him, he heard the bed creak. Heard the heavy, urgent sound of footsteps crossing the room.
"Cole?"
Jaxson's voice was rough with sleep and concern. A warm hand settled on his back, broad and steady, rubbing slow circles between his shoulder blades.
Cole gagged again, his entire body convulsing, and Jaxson's hand never stopped moving. The touch was grounding, an anchor in the middle of the storm.
"Easy," Jaxson murmured. "I've got you. Just breathe."
Cole spat into the toilet, his throat burning, his eyes watering. He slumped back against Jaxson's chest, trembling, and felt strong arms wrap around him.
"What's happening to me?" he managed, his voice hoarse and ragged.
Jaxson didn't answer immediately. His hand moved from Cole's back to his forehead, checking for a fever. His thoughts, however, were far louder than his silence.
This isn't a flu. It's not food poisoning either. He was fine last night. He was more than fine. And we haven't been careful. Not once. Not a single time, not since the first night.
Cole's breath caught.
He's been in heat twice since we mated. And I never pulled out. I never even thought about pulling out. I was too lost in him, too desperate to fill him, to claim him, to make him—
Oh god.
The thought hit Jaxson like a freight train. Cole felt it through their bond, a sudden, violent wave of shock and something else, something raw and primal and hungry.
It's possible. It's more than possible. I'm an alpha at the peak of my fertility, and he's an omega who's been burning hot for weeks. If there's even a chance—
"Jaxson," Cole whispered. "What are you thinking?"
Jaxson was silent for a long moment. Then he moved, shifting Cole gently to the side so he could stand. He grabbed a glass from the counter, filled it with water, and handed it to Cole.
"Rinse your mouth," he said quietly.
Cole obeyed, swishing the water and spitting it into the sink. When he looked up, Jaxson was staring at him with an intensity that made his stomach flip.
"I need to ask you something," Jaxson said. "And I need you to answer honestly."
Cole's heart hammered. "Okay."
"When was your last heat?"
The question hit him like a punch to the chest. Cole opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again.
"I—" He swallowed hard. "It was about three weeks ago. The same week you—the same week we—"
"The same week we mated," Jaxson finished. "Yes. I remember."
His hand came up, cupping Cole's jaw, tilting his face toward the light. His thumb traced the curve of Cole's cheekbone, and his thoughts were a swirl of darkness and wonder.
I've been inside him more times than I can count. I've filled him, again and again, told myself it was just lust, just need, just some inexplicable obsession that I couldn't shake. But what if it was more than that? What if it was instinct? What if my body knew, before my mind could catch up, that he was mine?
"Jaxson," Cole breathed. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying," Jaxson replied, his voice low and careful, "that you might be pregnant."
The words hung in the air like a verdict. Cole felt the world tilt, and he grabbed the edge of the counter to steady himself.
"That's not—I mean, we've only been together for—"
"Three weeks is all it takes," Jaxson said. "Especially if I didn't pull out. And I didn't. I never did. I couldn't."
Cole's face burned. The memory of those nights, those desperate, consuming encounters, flooded back to him. Jaxson's hands on his hips, Jaxson's breath hot in his ear, Jaxson's voice growling filthy, possessive promises that made Cole's knees weak.
"Fuck," Cole whispered.
"Yeah." Jaxson's laugh was short, almost bitter. "That's about the size of it."
They stared at each other in the harsh bathroom light. Cole was still on the floor, his back against the vanity, his legs too shaky to support him. Jaxson was kneeling in front of him, still in his boxers and sleep-tousled hair, looking like a fallen god.
"We should take a test," Jaxson said finally. "There's a pharmacy on the corner. I'll go."
"You can't just—buy a pregnancy test at seven in the morning," Cole said weakly. "People will see you."
Jaxson's mouth curved into a wry smile. "Let them fucking stare."
"Jaxson."
"I'll be back in twenty minutes." He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Cole's forehead. "Stay in bed. Rest. Don't move until I get back."
Cole nodded, dazed. "Okay."
Jaxson stood and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, grabbing his wallet and keys from the dresser. He paused at the bedroom door, looking back at Cole.
"Whatever the result, we'll handle it together," he said. "You're not alone in this. You'll never be alone in this."
And then he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him.
Cole sat on the bathroom floor for a long moment, staring at his reflection in the marble. His face was pale, his eyes wide, his hair a mess. He looked like a man who'd just had his entire world upended.
He placed a hand on his stomach. It was flat, unchanged, nothing there to suggest the possibility of new life. But beneath his palm, something stirred. Not a physical sensation, just a quiet hum, a resonance that felt almost like an echo of Jaxson's presence.
Could it be real? Could he actually be—
His phone buzzed on the bedroom nightstand. Cole pushed himself to his feet, using the counter for support, and shuffled into the bedroom to grab it.
Kate: You looked flushed yesterday. Everything okay?
Cole stared at the message. His thumb hovered over the keyboard, then dropped.
He couldn't tell her. Not yet. Not until he knew.
Twenty minutes passed like twenty hours. Cole curled up on the bed, pulling the duvet around himself, trying to ignore the churning in his stomach. It could be anxiety, it could be pregnancy, it could be a hundred different things.
He heard the front door open. Heard Jaxson's footsteps cross the living room, heavy and purposeful.
"Hey." Jaxson's voice was soft as he entered the bedroom. He was holding a small paper bag, and his face was tense, his jaw tight. "I got two. Just in case."
"Two?"
"One might be defective. I didn't want to rely on a single result for something this important."
Cole's heart swelled at the words. This important. Jaxson was taking this seriously, treating this like it mattered, and for some reason, that made it all feel more real.
Jaxson sat on the edge of the bed, setting the bag between them. He reached out, taking Cole's hand, and his grip was warm and solid.
"Whenever you're ready," he said.
Cole looked at the bag. Then at Jaxson. Then back at the bag.
He took a deep breath and stood.
"Okay," he said. "Let's do this."
The bathroom felt smaller now, the steam from the earlier shower still clinging to the mirror. Cole tore open the box with trembling fingers, reading the instructions twice, three times, making sure he got it right.
Jaxson stood in the doorway, arms crossed, watching him with an unreadable expression. His thoughts were a cacophony of noise, too tangled to decipher, but Cole caught fragments.
...if it's positive, I need to be ready. I need to be the alpha he deserves. I need to be a father. I never thought I'd want this, but with him, with Cole, it's all I can think about. A pup. Our pup. His eyes, my stubbornness. A perfect, impossible little life that we made together.
Cole's hands were shaking as he used the test. He set it on the counter, screen down, and stepped back.
"Three minutes," he said. "We have to wait three minutes."
Jaxson moved to his side, wrapping an arm around his waist, pulling him close. His chin rested on the top of Cole's head.
"Then we wait," he said quietly.
The seconds stretched into an eternity. Cole counted them in his head, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, trying to keep his breathing steady. Jaxson's heartbeat was a steady thrum against his back, grounding him, reminding him that he wasn't alone.
"One minute," Jaxson murmured. "Almost there."
"What if it's negative?" Cole asked, the question slipping out before he could stop it. "What if it's negative, and we got all worked up for nothing?"
"Then we'll try again," Jaxson said. "Again and again and again, until it takes."
Cole let out a shaky laugh. "You're very confident."
"With you? Always."
He was certain, so certain, his thoughts a fortress of unwavering intent. Cole felt some of his own anxiety ease, replaced by a warmth that had nothing to do with the steam in the bathroom.
"Thirty seconds," Cole said.
Jaxson's arm tightened around him. "Look at me."
Cole tilted his head, meeting Jaxson's dark gaze.
"Whatever it says," Jaxson said, "I love you. And I'm not going anywhere. That's a promise, Cole. The only promise that's ever mattered."
Cole's eyes stung. "I love you too."
They turned to the counter together. Cole's hand trembled as he reached for the test, but Jaxson's hand came up, covering his, steadying it.
"Together," Jaxson said.
They flipped the test over.
Two pink lines. Dark and unmistakable.
Cole's breath left him in a rush. "Oh my god."
Jaxson stared at the test, his face unreadable, and for a moment, Cole was terrified. Then the alpha let out a shaky breath, and his jaw worked, and when he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion.
"We're going to have a pup."
It wasn't a question. It was a statement, a truth that settled over them like a blanket.
Cole turned, burying his face in Jaxson's chest, and felt the alpha's arms close around him, tight and protective.
"We're going to have a pup," he repeated, the words muffled against Jaxson's shirt.
Jaxson's hand came up, cradling the back of his head. His thoughts were a roar, a primal, triumphant howl that Cole felt reverberate through his entire body.
Mine. Pregnant. A pup. Our pup. I'm going to be a father. I'm going to protect them. Protect him. Protect this family. Finally, something that belongs to me. Something that no one can take away.
"Jaxson," Cole whispered.
"I'm here."
"I'm scared."
"I know." Jaxson pressed a kiss to his forehead. "So am I. But we'll figure it out. Together. Like I said."
Cole laughed, a wet, broken sound. "You're scared?"
"Terrified." Jaxson pulled back, meeting his eyes. "But also... I don't know. Incredible. Elated. Like I've been given a gift I didn't deserve."
"You deserve everything," Cole said fiercely. "You deserve all of it."
Jaxson's smile was slow, warm, devastating. "And you? You deserve the world. I'm going to give it to you. And to our pup. I'm going to give you everything."
Cole let himself be held, let the reality of it wash over him in waves. He was pregnant. He was carrying Jaxson's pup, their pup, a new life growing inside him.
He placed a hand on his stomach again. This time, it didn't feel flat. It felt like the beginning of something. A future. A family. A life he'd never allowed himself to dream of, finally within reach.
"We should tell Kate," he said eventually. "Before she guesses on her own. She's already been suspicious."
Jaxson snorted. "She's been suspicious since the day she first saw us together."
"Really?"
"Really. She cornered me in the break room last week. Told me if I broke your heart, she'd find a way to make my life very difficult."
Cole blinked. "She didn't tell me that."
"She probably didn't want to scare you." Jaxson's smile turned wicked. "She seems to think I'm some kind of terrifying monster."
"You are."
"Only to everyone else. Never to you."
Cole rolled his eyes, but he couldn't suppress his smile. "We should also talk about what happens next. With work, I mean."
"I'll hire a new assistant," Jaxson said simply. "Or promote someone from the team. You'll stay at home, or you'll find something else if you want to. The choice is yours."
"What if I want to keep working?"
"Then we'll find a way. We'll make it work, Cole. Whatever you need, whatever you want, we'll make it work."
Cole leaned into him, letting the warmth of that promise sink into his bones. "I want to be a good parent," he whispered. "I want our pup to grow up feeling loved. Feeling safe. Knowing that they were wanted."
Jaxson's hand found his, pressing it against Cole's stomach.
"They'll know," he said. "They'll know every single day of their life. I'll make sure of it."
The bathroom was quiet, save for the hum of the heater and the soft sound of their breathing. The test sat on the counter, two pink lines catching the light, proof of a love that had taken them both by surprise.
Cole looked at Jaxson and saw the future reflected in his eyes. A future built on trust and tenderness and promises kept. A future that, three weeks ago, he never could have imagined.
"I love you," he said. "I love you, and I'm going to love our pup, and I'm going to be so, so happy."
Jaxson kissed him, slow and deep, and Cole felt the world realign around them.
"Same," Jaxson murmured against his lips. "Same. And I don't ever plan on letting you go."
The city glowed beyond the window, indifferent and vast. But inside, in the warmth of Jaxson's arms, Cole felt like he held the entire universe in his palms.