Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I am a werewolf.
I am a wolf.
I am a woman.
I am naked.
I am standing in front of the moon.
My heart thunders in my chest as I repeat the words in my head. I need to remind myself that I am human, that this is normal, that nothing has changed. It's the full moon, it happens every month. It's been happening for centuries. It's how I know I'm still human. I need to remind myself that I am a woman, that this is the true me. “Stop thinking about it and just do it," a voice whispers in my head. "You've been thinking about it for weeks. Tonight is the night. Tonight you become what you've been waiting for. Tonight you are a wolf."
My body still feels frozen as I stare at the moon, the bright light of the full moon shining on my naked body. A shiver runs down my spine as goosebumps break out across my skin. I clutch my arms around myself to preserve the feeling of being covered, even though I am not. My hands stop working, my fingers clench into fists, and my body refuses to respond to my commands. I am forced onto my hands and toes just like a wolf, the pain starts to hurt more, and I feel bits of my humanity fading away. I can't control it, but I won't fight against it. I will let my body be one with the moon, because fighting against it would result in me losing all control to my body, and my humanity. The moonlight catches my eyes, my gaze darts back and forth as my breathing gets heavier. I need to control my breathing. I need to remain calm, regardless of how painful the transformation is. My breathing is heavy as I wait for my turn in the moonlight. I feel exposed, vulnerable, and I don't like it. Yet I weirdly feel peaceful with myself. I guess it's the moonlight and me being naked, but I feel at peace with me just looking at the moon even when I know there's unbearable pain that will come. I felt like I was truly myself for the first time ever. I need to remember that this is what I have been waiting for.
My body finally responds to my commands, and even though the pain continues, I still need to remain calm to assure I still have control. Even though I am scared of losing my humanity and the pain is getting worse, I honestly wanted to feel every bit of this transformation. Being naked helped, it felt like I was part of nature and that I had nothing to worry about, the weather was perfect for tonight and that my body felt one with the moon. For the first time in my life, I feel free. Free from all the clothes I wear, from the inhibitions society had put on me. I feel powerful, I felt I finally had a purpose, and I felt incredibly sexy through all of it and, I love it. But I won't let that distract me from who I am , as much as I love what's happening to me, I am still human and I want to keep my humanity through all of the transformation. I need to be able to control myself no matter how much it hurts. I need to prove to myself that I'm still human. I will stay a human after this transformation. My body begins to shake, and my naked body is now forcing me on all fours again as the transformation takes over my body. My nails are replaced by black claws, my shoulder blades and spine expose themselves to the moonlight, and the pain is unbearable. Yet there was no fur around my body, no tail growing around my ass, even my hands were still human hands and not wolf paws. I don't know what it means, but I shouldn't let my guard down I don't know what could happen next. "You can do it Yoruko" a husky voice whispers in my head. "You're almost there." "Almost where?" I hiss back, my voice sounds strained and raspy, and I can't seem to get the words out right.I sound like a sick, twisted monster. "Almost where?" I hiss again, this time with a growl, my back arched, my fangs protruding. My eyes water as I try to swallow, but the saliva just pools in my mouth. I force myself to swallow it down, it might be the last straw and I might bite the human hand that feeds me."I can't take much more of this," I mutter, my voice cracking as tears force themselves to my eyes. "It's too painful I can barely breathe let alone swallow." "Breathe, Yoruko, breathe," the voice in my head repeats, and I force my lungs to expand and my jaw to unclench. "Everything will be okay. You'll see soon enough." As I inhale deeply and force some air into my burning throat, something clicks inside my head. Something changes within me a crackle of electricity runs through my veins, and I feel myself growing in strength. "Soon enough," I mumble to myself as I continue to choke and gulp air, my whole body on fire. "Soon enough. It'll be over soon..." Everything feels so wrong yet everything also feels right...and I've gone mad trying to make sense of things-the feeling. Before long I can hear myself breathe properly again. In and out, in and out. Just like that, everything will be okay. Just like that, everything will be over soon and I won't have to worry about anything ever again. In and Out, Breathe, Everything Will Be Okay". My eyes remained closed through all of it, I didn’t know what my eyes would bear witness to after the process. I could be a monstrous beast or I could still be my beautiful, naked true self. My back started shifting back into its initial human anatomy, yet the pain was minimal, I felt at ease with the moon despite the slow and painful process, I felt that nothing could hurt me anymore. Eventually my body stopped shifting, I touched myself to feel what had become before opening my eyes, my skin, arms, hands, feet, legs, ass, and back still felt human, yet my black claws remained. I then opened my eyes to see the truth….. I…… I…….!
I did it. I managed to endure my entire transformation while retaining my humanity, and my human form. While I still have my black claws, I'm still a human and my body feels better than it was before transforming. I'm still in shock I pulled it off, I should be a mindless beast, but instead I'm naked on all fours as the my real self. The world seemed brighter, colors popping against my vision. It didn't hurt anymore which made everything easier to bear. Until it doesn't hurt you cannot become one with the world. You must feel the pain to know you're alive. That's what I learned tonight. I was reborn under the full moon, and I'll be damned if I let anyone take that away from me. Not when I worked so hard to achieve it. Tonight I conquered both life and death, and whatever comes between them. And because I kept my word I gave the moon back its clothes before I transformed. I took off my clothes in the middle of the forest, in front of nothing but trees and animals, and I felt good about it. I felt powerful, and sexy, and...I felt human. No longer bound by societal norms or rules, I became free at last! Free to embrace every part of me including those parts most people would find strange such as my love of animals and the fact that I was a nudist before it became fashionable. I was free to be who I was without judgement or repercussion. There wasn't any place else I'd rather be except here at night beneath the stars with only nature as company. The way the wind whistled through the trees, the way the animals reacted to the change in the moonlight, all of it was beautiful and I wanted to bottle it and take it with me wherever I went. So after giving the clothing back to the moon, I turned back into the woman I used to be before I had any idea how different I'd be. The woman I was before everything changed. The woman I was before I became a therapist, the woman I used to be, is back. And I look forward to embracing the moon once more. I look forward to embracing the woman I used to be. Because even though being nude makes me vulnerable, I no longer care. In spite of everything, I actually enjoyed stripping off my clothes and becoming one with the earth. There was something incredibly freeing about doing it in the woods especially during a full moon. I'm not sure why it made me feel so good, but there was something special about stripping off in the woods, something special about being one with nature that I can only describe as spiritual. It was a feeling I knew I would never forget, a feeling that was unlike anything I had experienced before. And it was one I was going to have to experience again in order to save myself. Tonight I was going to embrace the full moon and all its powers in order to save my own skin. Tonight I was going to become one with the night, with the animals, with the wind, with the trees, with everything. And in the morning I would be whole again, or at least I would try to be.