Chapter 12: Bad Guys Close In
She'd been waiting for the perfect moment to confront Ryan about his cruel comments regarding her weight and his lack of support during her recent weight gain journey.
Finally, the clock struck 5 p.m., and the office began to empty. After making sure she had all her things, Kelly approached Ryan's desk, beefing up her confidence with each step.
"Hey Ryan, mind if I chat for a sec?" she asked, her voice steady but laced with sarcasm.
Ryan looked up from his computer screen, annoyance flickering in his eyes. "What is it, Kapoor?" he asked, his tone dismissive.
"I just wanted to talk to you about what you said to me the other day," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Oh, you mean about how you're getting bigger?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips.
"Yes, that," she said, biting back the angry words that threatened to spill from her mouth.
"I don't appreciate what you said. And I don't appreciate the way you treated me when we were still in a relationship."
Ryan shrugged, looking unapologetic. "It's not like you don't have a lot to work with," he said, gesturing to her butt.
Kelly felt her anger rise, the flames licking at her insides. But she took a deep breath, reminding herself to stay calm and composed. "I am more than just my appearance," she said, her voice ringing out loud and clear.
"And I am proud of the changes I have made to my body. I am proud of my curves and the confidence they bring me. I do not need your approval or validation."
Ryan's smug smile faltered, and Kelly could see a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. "I didn't mean anything by it," he said, attempting to dismiss her words.
But Kelly was not finished yet. "You did," she said, her tone firmly but not unkindly. "But it doesn't matter. I am no longer seeking your validation or approval.
I am proud of my body and the changes I have made to it. I have worked hard to achieve the curves I have today, and I will not let anyone make me feel less than because of them.
I stood there, looking directly into Ryan's eyes, feeling the heat and intensity of his gaze on me. He was still standing, and I could see that he intimidated me, but I was determined to stand my ground.
"Look, Kelly, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It was just a stupid joke," he said, his tone scornful.
Kelly shook her head, not backing down. "No, it wasn't. What you said about my body and my size was uncalled for and insensitive."
Ryan looked taken aback, as if he had never considered how his words could affect someone else. "I didn't think it would be a big deal," he tried to say, but Kelly cut him off.
"Well, it is. And I won't stand for it. I have worked hard to be comfortable in my own skin and to love myself the way I am.
I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and I won’t let anyone take that away from me. I have decided to own my curves and embrace my body instead of trying to conform to the unrealistic beauty standards that society imposes on us.” Kelly’s voice was steady, but Ryan could see the fire in her eyes. He looked taken aback for a moment, as if he didn't know how to respond.
Kelly pressed on. “I don’t want your approval or validation, Ryan. I am not looking for a relationship with you or anyone else.
I just want to savor this new confidence and conviction in myself, and to enjoy the pleasure of my own physicality without comprising my self-worth to please others.
I couldn't help but glance over at Pam's desk, knowing that this revelation might come as a shock to my close friend. Pam had always been supportive, especially during my recent weight gain journey, but I worried that she might judge me or try to convince me to change my perspective. To my relief, though, Pam seemed to understand. She gave me a compassionate smile and nodded slowly.
I could tell that she was proud of me, despite any reservations she might have had about my sudden confidence and self-love. I took a deep breath and turned back to Ryan, who still looked stunned.
"So, I hope you can understand where I'm coming from," I said, my voice gentle but firm. "I won't tolerate any more hurtful comments or snide remarks about my body. I deserve better than that."
To my surprise, Ryan looked almost ashamed. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but then seemed to think better of it.
Instead, he simply nodded. "I understand, Kelly. I'm sorry for being insensitive. It won't happen again."
I could see the sincerity in his eyes and I believed him. Ryan could be a jerk sometimes, but I knew deep down that he wasn't a bad person. He just needed to learn to think before he spoke and be more mindful of other people's feelings.
"Thank you, Ryan," I said, nodding back at him.
I could see a flicker of guilt in his eyes and I knew he meant it. He'd made a mistake, sure, but he was willing to own up to it and make it right.
As I walked back to my desk, I couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. For so long, I'd let Ryan's words get to me, letting his jokes make me feel small and insignificant. But today, I stood up for myself and demanded better. I owned my curves, loved myself, and demanded respect from others.