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Valloria: A Knight's Tale

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A comedy with action, adventure, and serious moments in the style of a medieval fantasy RPG, featuring quests, guilds, kingdoms, factions, and more, set in Valloria (an alternate Lombardy whose inhabitants are called Vallori). The four young protagonists are: an ambitious girl knight; a comical, friendly, and vice-prone goat demon who secretly resents being a demon among other species; a sarcastic and intellectual Teuton (German equivalent) wizard with a sharp tongue who ultimately grows to love his friends; and a spirited, loyal elf girl skilled with a bow and dagger who is the heart of the group.

Chapter 12: B

The cavern’s immense silence was a bowl holding their breath. A tiny, distinct tink of a pebble striking Ezra’s helmet visor broke it. Then another, a faint skitter of grit across his pauldron. By pure instinct, he raised his head, his whispered curse a vapor in the chill air. “Shit.”

Directly above, suspended in the complex web of shadows and faint fungal glow, something shifted. It wasn’t a spider. It was a geography of chitin, a grotesque cartography of joints and bristling, hair-fine spines. Its body was a lumpen sack of shadow larger than a war shield, and it was lowering itself on a silken cable thicker than Lira’s thumb with a terrible, smooth grace.

“Don’t move,” Ginny breathed, every muscle in her body coiling, her hand slowly closing around her sword hilt. The thing’s multiple eyes caught the scant light in a cluster of empty, liquid gleams.

Lira’s gasp was a stifled thing of pure revulsion. “It’s… wrong.” Her elven senses recoiled from its constructed, alien aura.

“Arachnid morphology, yes, but observe the carapace segmentation,” Sig murmured, his voice clinically low. “It mirrors the hyper-evolutionary forms from the corridor. A literal manifestation.”

“I didn’t need the lecture, Sig, I need it not on my head,” Ezra hissed, frozen, watching the creature descend with nightmare slowness. The air grew thick with the smell of old musk and dried venom.

Ginny’s blade cleared its scabbard with a soft, metallic sigh. “Lira, eyes on the ceiling perimeter. Ezra, slow step back to us. Sig, if you have a spell that isn’t a theory, now would be—“

Ginny's words were severed by a wet, whistling tear in the air.

From a ventral slit in the creature's abdomen, a glistening appendage—pale, muscle-roped, and impossibly fast—lashed out. It wasn't silk. It slapped around Lira’s torso with a sound like wet meat hitting stone, yanking her off her feet before her cry fully left her lungs. She crashed onto her back, bow clattering away, the breath exploding from her in a shocked gasp as the tentacle began to reel her in toward that waiting cluster of eyes.

“Hey!” Ezra’s voice shattered the moment, raw and loud. He lunged, not away, but forward, his claws locking around Lira’s forearm and a strap of her leather armor. He planted his hooves, his red fur standing on end, and pulled. “Take it out on someone of your own size, you eight-legged toilet!”

The demonic strength that surprised him at the tavern arm-wrestling tables, that he only ever used for lifting barrels or stupid bets, surged from a deep, resentful well. A tremor ran through the taut tentacle. The creature above gave a shuddering, chittering hiss, its grip fighting the sudden, equal opposition. For a second, they were a terrible, straining chain: monster, elf, demon. Ezra’s light metal armor groaned in protest. Lira was a gasping, terrified pivot point between opposing gravities.

Ginny’s blade was a sudden, fluid arc of light in the cavern gloom. It cleaved the quivering tentacle with a wet, fibrous tear that felt utterly dense and solid, not at all hollow. The severed end recoiled with a whip-crack that sprayed a corrosive ichor across Ginny’s armored shoulder, sizzling and popping like hot grease.

The creature shrieked, an inhuman blend of hiss and whistle, as Lira and the amputated length fell away from its grip. "I can count to one," Ginny grunted to the panicked elf, swatting the fizzling gunk off her pauldron. Lira scrambled, clawing at the slick, dying muscle still coiled around her torso while Ezra tore it away with a desperate yank.

From the perimeter of darkness, a rising clatter began. Dusty shadows all around them resolved, then moved. Things unfolded from the stone—first a warrior's ribcage, then an archer’s stringless bow, and the ragged cowl of a wizard, all lurching into purpose with a brittle, syncopated rattle.

They erupted from the mineral scatter on the cavern floor as if dispelled from the stone’s memory. Bone rasped against bone as skeletal warriors hoisted pitted swords, their empty sockets fixed on the interlopers. Heedless, Ginny kicked Lira’s bow toward her. "Talk to the pretty one up there," she yelled, jutting her chin toward the quivering mass scrambling back into the web-strung ceiling as she spun to meet the advancing wall of bone. "Cover me!"

Ginny stepped forward, her sword meeting the first crude blade with a shower of yellow-white sparks in the low light. The impact shuddered up her arm, strong and strange and real. A second skeleton lunged, forcing her into a tight defensive angle with a brittle snick of its rusted blade.

"Cheers for that alarm, Professor!" Ezra yelled, already in motion at the edge of her vision. He wasn't running away, but skirting to intercept three shambling forms boxing Lira's position as she nocked an arrow against the weeping spider. He'd drawn his short, heavy-bladed sword and turned it clumsily in his grip.

He didn't raise the hilt like a proper mace; he just inverted the simple steel weight in one gauntleted palm and swung the cross-guard in a savage, unthinking backhand that staved in the sternum of the nearest archer. Pieces of vertebrae and splintered clavicles clattered against the stones at his hooves. Lira's first arrow thrummed wetly into the spasming arthropod above, and it sagged.

"How do you kill walking drywall?" Ginny called out over the screech of bone-on-metal beside her. She downed a skeletal blade with a neat, vertical chop that split its clavicle to pelvis and left her momentarily open."Sig?"

"Sig?" Ginny shouted again, parrying a skeletal warrior's blade with a jarring clang and shattering its knee with a swift armored kick. Her eyes scanned the chaotic periphery for a flash of white clothing or a staff's glint. What she saw instead was Sigfried, not advancing with arcane fury, but sprinting full-tilt back toward the narrow corridor they'd entered from, his robes flapping behind him like a surrender flag.

Ezra, busy stomping a disarticulated skull into powder, followed her gaze. "Oh, splendid! The Shit brain runs first!" he bellowed across the din, his voice rich with scorn. "Run, Sig! The scary rocks might give you a papercut!"

Sigfried didn't stop, but half-turned as he ran, cupping a hand to his mouth. His shout echoed, strained but crystalline, back into the cavern. "I told you to retreat! That isn't a spider!" He skidded to a halt at the corridor's mouth, already digging frantically in his component pouch. "It's a fucking wizard spider! Its carapace is a spell matrix! I need the right counter!"

He was looking for the right spell to kill it.

He vanished into the corridor's gloom, frantically searching his spellbook for something heavy on transmutation that he hadn't referenced since a disastrous fourth-year exam on ectoplasmic negation.

"Hurry up, Professor!" Ezra bellowed, kicking another snapping ribcage apart as the cavern shook with heavy, skittering footfalls from above. The spider wizard, still dripping fluids from Lira’s arrow and the severed tentacle, landed a few paces away with a sound like wet stones sliding together, its leg-joints rasping.

Its eyes were all trained on Ginny, whose sword had just parted a skeletal form from its hips, leaving the unrelated legs and pelvis still standing and shuffling toward her. “Lovely,” she said flatly, parrying another shambling blade, completely blocked between the rubble of old bones and the new thing’s dripping fangs."Fall back!" she shouted at Lira and Ezra.

Ginny shoved the clattering pelvis aside with her boot and screamed back toward the corridor, "Sig, move your ass or we're spider food!"

From the tunnel's mouth, his voice snapped back, sharp with academic disdain, "If you douchbags knew your bestiary, you'd know you stay under cover against a wizard spider!"

The creature's remaining limbs tensed, its maw clicking open to reveal a glowing, viscous knot of blue energy where a tongue should be.

Ezra bodily lifted Lira, who was still struggling with the severed tentacle, and hurled them both behind a chunk of fallen column just as a web of crackling, silent force erupted from the spider's mouth.

The air where they'd stood solidified into a glistening, crystalline lattice that shattered a second later, spraying diamond-sharp shards across the stone floor.

A shimmering shard grazed Ezra’s cheek as he peered over the column, his molten voice cutting through the ringing aftermath. “A pretty spell, ugly! My face is an act of philanthropy!”

Sigfried’s body shot from the corridor mouth, his feet skidding on grit as he raised both hands, his fingers splayed and rigid. A word ripped from his throat, guttural and final, and the air between his palms fractured like flawed glass, lancing forward in a silent, shimmering spear that punched through the creature’s cephalothorax with a wet, popping sigh. The wizard spider froze, its frantic clicking seizing into absolute stillness before its entire form dissolved into a cascade of grey, inert ash that pattered softly onto the stone. The skeletal warriors, swords still raised, simply collapsed mid-stride into random, lifeless piles of bone. “See?” Ezra said cheerfully, clapping grit from his gauntlets as he stepped from cover. “All they needed was a firm talking-to from me."

“All they needed was a firm talking-to from me," Ezra said, shaking ash from his helmet's visor in a fine grey cloud.

The dead cavern air smelled of ozone and powdered chitin, the silence a sudden, ringing void against their earlier frantic clatter. Ginny prodded the nearest heap of bones with her boot, ensuring its stillness, then carefully wiped ichor from her blade onto her gambeson before sheathing it. Lira brushed off the last shriveled fragments of the severed tentacle from her tunic with sharp, disgusted motions, her bow returned over her shoulder. Only Sigfried lingered near the ash pile, head cocked, studying its collapse pattern. “The transmutative sigil on its underbelly,” he murmured, “definitely necromantic standard with that hyper-evolutionary twist from the carvings—fascinating.”

Behind the defunct wizard spider, where the phosphorescent fungi clung in thicker patches to the far wall, a shallow niche was now visible. And inside it rested a single, plain iron chest, its surface pitted but its lock glowing with a final, faded ember of protective magic.

Ezra stumbled over, his natural greed surging past the close scrape, and gave the chest a hopeful poke. “Delivering!”

The lock snicked open at his touch, its magic spent. Inside lay a practical haul: three hefty bags of Vallorian thalers chinked softly, nestled next to a silver locket and a carved ivory comb. “Three ways to impress a lady: cold cash, a shiny, and something pretty for the hair,” he noted cheerfully, holding the comb up.

Ginny immediately claimed a bag of coins, tucking it away, while Lira pocketed the small locket with a thoughtful expression. “This could buy five hills of new saplings for the winter grove,” she said softly.

Sig didn't even glance at the money or trinkets. His attention was fixed on a large, weathered tome lying flat beneath the bags, its leather cover the color of dried blood and utterly plain. He lifted it out with a reverence he’d shown nothing else in the ruin, brushing coarse grit from its surface with his sleeve. The others fell silent, watching the strange focus settle over him.

He cracked the spine, the sound a sharp protest in the quiet. The pages within were a dense, hypnotic tapestry of geometric diagrams and script in a flowing, silver ink that seemed to swim under the direct light of his floating orb. His breath caught. “This is it,” he murmured, his voice hollow with awe.

“More homework?” Ezra asked, peering over his shoulder at the bewildering patterns. “Looks like a drunk architect’s floor plans.”

“It’s a theoretical bestiary,” Sig said, not looking up, his finger tracing a spiraling glyph that seemed to depict a creature of solid light. “Arcans. Post-physical entities. Hypothesized, never catalogued.” He turned a page, and the silver ink shimmered, responding to his touch. “The Scholars didn’t just study magic here. They were documenting things that exist outside our perception of matter.”

Ginny shifted her weight, her armor creaking. “Is it useful?” she pressed, her tone pragmatic. “Can it be eaten, worn, or used to kill something?”

“It’s knowledge, Ginny,” Sig said, finally tearing his eyes from the page to meet hers, his blue eyes alight with a fervor she rarely saw. “It’s a map to places we didn’t know were there.” He carefully tucked the heavy book into his own satchel, the act final and possessive. The coins and comb were forgotten ephemera; this was the anchor. Lira watched him, a faint frown on her face, sensing a door had just opened in Sig’s mind that the rest of them couldn’t see through.

Lira watched him, a faint frown on her face, sensing a door had just opened in Sig’s mind that the rest of them couldn’t see through. Ezra hoisted his bag of coins, the metal clinking with a final, comforting sound. “So you’re happy with the coloring book, then?”

“Ecstatic,” Sig said, not looking up as he secured his satchel’s buckle.

Ezra shook his head, his helmet visor pivoting toward the wizard. “Alright, I’ll bite. What’s the real reward here for you, Sig? We got coin, we got shiny baubles.” He gestured at the heavy tome now hidden in Sig’s bag. “You got… dense reading about imaginary friends.”

Sigfried finally met his gaze, his expression serene and unnervingly focused. “I’ve gained more knowledge about these mysterious ‘Arcans’,” he stated, his voice low with genuine conviction. “They are incomprehensible beings in every form. For me, the discovery and knowledge about them, even if it’s little, is the great thing.”

He turned and began walking toward a faint archway of light at the cavern’s far end, his staff tapping a deliberate rhythm on the stone. Ginny fell into step beside him, her armor whispering with each movement. “So we almost died for your footnote,” she said, her tone flat.

“Essentially,” Sig replied, a faint, real smile touching his lips. Ahead, the archway promised a way out, the light beyond it stark and sudden after the cavern’s embodied dark. Lira followed, glancing back once at the silent, ashen mound. Ezra brought up the rear, his cheerful demeanor softened into something like quiet contemplation.

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